My ex was awful to me... cheated, lied, manipulated, lead me on, used me, betrayed, etc., yet I can't stop missing him?

How do I stop missing someone who treated me so poorly? He used to be so kind and caring but then he stopped caring so much about me and started to treat me like that. we've been broken up for almost a year but only stopped hooking up a few months ago. he says he doesn't have any feelings for me now and wants me out of his life. he told me "I still care about you as a person but not how I used to" yet he left me in a cold car while he went to a frat party one time and admitted to using me for sex. he also lied about cheating for a month and then dumped me after he told me. he used to say he would never find anyone like me and I was the love of his life and now things got like this. he also admitted to being in another relationship after we had broken up but were still hooking up, so he was cheating on her for a few months.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know what you're feelin. It's continuous heart break, and no matter how poorly they treat you, you have a soft spot for them. Why? I honestly don't know. It defies logic, it really does. I mean, the basic law of survival is to stay away from all that threatens our lives and creates toxicity, yet for some reason, we remain transfixed on people who are so unhealthy and treat us so poorly. how to stop? I don't know. It sounds like he has hurt you a considerable amount, and you seem too be holding on to him even so. My advice is to first decide if you WANT to end things and say goodbye. Because even though you need to, your desire for him will override that. You need to find out what you want in life, and how he isn't helping one bit. I love this that I read online, about dignity (sometimes it lessens when we love others in place of ourselves)

    "Dignity
    /ˈdignitē/ noun

    1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache.
    --some others
    7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don't want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.

    8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.

    9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.

    10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness."

    So my advice is to realize your worth and find what you want in life, I think you'll see that he has not much to offer.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • not sure how women are but I hear they get over stuff quicker than men, so hopefully it goes quickly for you

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What Girls Said 2

  • Every time you feel like you're struggling to move on, remind yourself of what you hate about him

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    • Oh Trust me he's taken Note and written about many things he hates about me. there's no lack of options to hate when it comes to me.

  • do u have proof of it all? Or is it standard assumption? College kid stereotype?

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    • I have proof. he admitted to all of it

    • Wow thats pretty bad. at least he came clean. .. im Sure that took awhile

    • Although if you're still in love with him i highly doubt he didn't feel something aswell. After all of what he did and your live still being there chances are he loved you at some point or still loves you just as much today.

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