Guys: seriously I need some of your advice. Why the F did he do this to me?

So this guy chased me hard in the 1st and 2nd date. On our "Planned 3rd" date he bailed on me saying he wasn't feeling well , this was a Saturday! so he rescheduled. I was so bummed but nontheless, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because, shit happens.

Finally, on the 3rd date (make up date) we went bowling on Friday, and guess what? it happened so fast, he didn't spend the entire Friday night with me. After bowling he left immediately as if he has somewhere else to go which left me kinda confused. That same night he was asking me that he wants a romantic/relaxing date at his place, I agree as a 4th date. That was also the time that he made us exclusive.

anyways that week, I over thought things by analyzing his actions and the red flags I was kinda feeling, and ended up breaking the title because I was having trust issues.

I noticed things went downhill which I regret. I even told him what those red flags were (which was a big mistake on my part and I blame myself up to this day for even saying those) anyways, That weekend we were suppose to hang out but instead, the douche ghosted me!

He didn't even texted me on the day we were suppose to hang. That's strike 1 Another strike 2, just last Saturday, he planned to hang out over the weekend because apparently "I want to see you again" is what he said. Well, I didn't hear from him much that week. It was those type of convo just enough to let me know he is interested.

Then finally on the day of, he canceled on me saying "I have a killer headache can we possibly go tomorrow?"I didn't believe that shit and told him "It's been nice knowing you, take care." I haven't heard from him since. what the f*** just happened? and here I am trying so hard to get over him but it's so tough. Will he back you guys think? Where did I go wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Silk teddy,

    You didn't do anything wrong and it doesn't sound like he did either.

    The challenge of dating is figuring out who you really like enough to have a relationship with and with rejection, it's a good thing!

    It's good because everyone deserves to be with someone who REALLY wants them (physically and mentally). A lot of rejection happens because the feelings just aren't there for one or both people.

    So, it's always one of three "Would Your Rather" situations when the feelings aren't there:

    1. Would you rather he keep seeing you, even if he's not that into you and he doesn't see any kind of future with you?

    2. Would you rather he just be honest (as most women and men demand) and he tell you to your face that he's just not that attracted to you, or he likes someone else better?

    3. Would you rather he awkwardly or rudely disappear from your life so you can be free to meet some guy who thinks you're amazing?

    For most single people, option 3 is usually the best scenario (even if it's temporarily frustrating).

    When you meet a great guy who chases YOU, you'll be glad this guy didn't string you along and it won't bother you one bit.

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    • Why do you think that option 3 is usually the best scenario for most people? I look at it as the most disgusting and disrespectful thing someone can do. It shows very low esteem and it hurts the other person, no matter if it's someone you just met or someone you know for awhile. I honestly disagree that it's what most would prefer. I personally always go for option 2 and I prefer they do the same. People are such a fucked cowards, they don't even have balls to reject politely. Any person who ghosts out is a very bad person in my eyes.

    • Show All
    • But he DID pretend to like her. I mean why the hell is so hard to say for example "Hey listen, I had a great time and all but I didn't really feel it, i'm sorry. You are a nice person and I want to be honest because I don't want to lead you on."? Or just say a lie like "Hey I'm sorry I was distant but I had a lot of thoughts and I realized I'm not really ready for a relationship so I'm not gonna pursue one or lead you on."? I would honestly respect a guy who would tell me this. I would be bumped up a little bit but at least I would know where we stand I wouldn't have to puzzle what's going on. It would take me less time to get over him, because when he ghosts out I keep wondering if maybe he will call in few days, then few days turn into few weeks, and I then I already wasted enough time over analyzing a simple fact. Girls do this too , it's true. I'm speaking generally for both genders. Just grow some balls people!

    • @little_bird1 I totally agree and please don't think I'm defending the guy (I don't even know him or the Asker, right?).

Most Helpful Girl

  • This dude was stringing you along basically. You should've stopped when he cancelled and rescheduled the first two times. Stand your ground. Don't be mad you told him the red flags. He needs to know that you're not stupid. Don't let a guy fool you like that.

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    • Moonchild, yea on the 3rd date when he cancelled on me- that wasn't a good feeling at all but he made up immediately so I let it pass. Anyway, I just understand why be hot and then cold!

    • **don't understand

    • Doesn't matter if he made it up to you immediately. You either need to straight up ask him what does he want, because you don't want your time wasted or continue with his hot and cold act. You don't have time for that. My advice is if you go on a date and something similar happens. Drop them if they start showing signs of stringing you along. Always have other options so you won't be so invested in one person.

What Guys Said 2

  • you did right, you dont need that kind of crap in your life again in my opinion, you should've ask him that why he bailed you a lot of times tell me the reasons and if he didn't told you then i would strongly suggest you to cut him off your circle,

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  • Sounds like you gotinside your own head and crashed the plane into a mountain lol

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