Friends with benefits "dumped" me?

Long story short my friends with benefits randomly messaged me "I'm going to be straight up with you I don't want to have sex with you anymore, but I still want to be friends if your good with that"

We were getting closer and out of nowhere he just did this! What the heck? Any input on what happened?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, it's possible that he fears he might develop feelings for you or to the fact that you might develop feelings for him or both of you can develop for one another at the same time and that is exactly what he doesn't want.

    That is why he messaged you this way.

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    • Thanks! He is a commitment phone according to his childhood best friends and they even beg me to be patient and keep holding on cuz eventually he would admit and open up :/ i ended things with him and i took him back in for that conversation. We are all in the same circle so his bbfs are close friends of mine

    • He wouldn't even let me have other friends with benefits. It was just him and he flatly told me that he was jealous at the thought that other guys wanted to be with me. Threw in my face... He had originally told me he loved me and then retracted his statement

Most Helpful Girl

  • Doesn't matter he was just a friends with benefits. Accept it and move on. He probably suspected you were catching feelings and thus... ended it.

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    • He knew already... :( we tried a relationship 3 years ago then we got into an argument and went our separate ways. Then he came back and we became friends with benefits. We became too personal w each other's lives tbh. I know his social his brothers cellphone number his family history etc. We WERE friends. I don't want to lose the friendship because he is always there for me when I have a depressive episode

    • He said he just wants to be friends so you're not losing him as a friend you're just losing his dick. Buck up. Move on. Find a new dick to play with.

    • That is an extreme relief! I heard that when someone says they just want to be friends it's to just let you down easy

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's not really dumping... more like the end of a contract.
    If you can't handle that, then you shouldn't have been involved in a friends with benefits situation.

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    • Yeah I didn't know what. To call it that's y I put exclamation marks on it

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    • We did. I stressed he couldn't get feeling because if he did it was over. We establish no feelings and we had a rule we would be able to be intimate w other people. I told him countless times that whenever he got tired of me to let me know. Towards the end he flatly told me I couldn't have anyone else just him.

    • He broke most of the rules he himself placed.

  • It's a friends with benefits so it isn't even considered dumping. Perhaps he's done with meaningless sex.

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  • Why don't you call him and in a fun tone say, "So, what changed your mind about or arrangement?" You'll probably get your answer...

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    • Tried :/ his phone number was off

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    • I'm try but I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I considered myself a good friend so it just baffles me that he ended the sex w I any explanation. I provided with explanations on both accounts that I wanted things to stop. He even came to my house drunk without any heads up. He was willing to wake my family up that night just to get an explanation and talk it out. Maybe I was never his friend :(

    • Given his reputation, I would just forget about him. He's willing to go to great lengths to get an explanation out of you, but won't provide you with one.

  • He likely found someone else. Or maybe he is tired of just being a "friend with benefits" and would rather be in real relationship.

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  • I mean you were just a friends with benefits... did you really expect a relationship to happen?

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    • No. We are from two different social groups, he's too free spirited and very experimental w drugs. I'm a stablility seeking girl. I like comfort and security. Things a friends with benefits relationship would not provide. When we started a yr ago I was in a very bad place and I more than anyone was concious I was not got to be in any relationship. I got out of an abusive relationship and I had too much baggage for any relationship

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    • Oh... Well I don't know. A friends with benefits relationship to my understanding is just sex right? No security for tomorrow no comfort? Its a get in get out type of thing? That's how I was throughout.

    • Right... ok i think i misunderstood your first response... he only sees this as a sex only exchange... so maybe he did suspect you were catching feelings and so he stopped... or maybe he found someone else. it happens

What Girls Said 0

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