Still missing my ex?

I broke up w/my 1st serious boyfriend a little while ago and that was hard. Ever since the break up, I got a new (much better) job, doing activities to expand my horizons and just having fun. Breaking up w/my ex was devastating for me and at times I still miss him. I brought up the issues w/him many times and he never did anything about it. Guys check me out and I have been on a couple dates, but I feel like I am missing something in my life. I loved my ex and treated him like a king. The 1st couple of months were great, but as time wore on, I was that new toy that got old. I could tell he was distancing himself from me. I don't know why I miss him. Although he lived on his own, he was lazy and really unmotivated, he was content at being stuck at a close to min wage job w/a college education. I know if I married him, I would be doing everything and he wouldn't lift a finger, essentially he would just be another child. He never went out of his way for me, never wanted to try anything new w/me etc. Why do I miss a guy whose boring and unmotivated selfish ways were already putting doubts in my head?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Because being un motivated and selfish is human? It's not all about earning high wages. Don't forget rich people still need nurses , cleaners , accountants , pilots , etc etc. He's clearly left a mark on you that you clearly won't forget but a relationship shouldn't prevent you getting a job , hobbies etc etc everyone is individuals. And most people who judge there exes blame everyone but them selves. Not being mean but that is normally the case. Love is love materialistic things are nothing a job , money etc means nothing if you don't have that companion to share it with not anybody the ONE who you truly love now he obv needs to be motivated and if he isn't what you want then ok but what he does shouldn't REALLY matter as all that excitement can come from your own interests.

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    • I wouldn't care how much $ someone makes. The thing that bothered me was he had no goals whatsoever, he didn't have a passion he wanted to pursue. If he was perfectly content working a lower paying job and making a living that would be fine. He was the one always B*tching about how he needed more $, that he wanted a better job etc.

    • I see. Well then it's normal to miss someone but if you truly can't see yourself being with him and getting over all of that then I would move on. But not to fast wait until your over him

  • It's totally normal 💁🏻

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What Girls Said 1

  • You miss that closeness that you have in a serious relationship. You know that he isn't right for you. But I doubt it's him you miss, more of having someone to love and love you back.
    You'll always have a part of you that cares about him, but if you got back together things would turn out the same way unless he changed. It doesn't seem like he would be willing to change. Keep yourself distracted, focus on the reasons why it wouldn't work out and keep yourself open to other guys. You'll fall in love with someone else when you least expect it.

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    • A couple days after he wanted me to come back making grand promises, I knew these were BS. He was only responding to me walking away. I really think he thought I wasn't capable of leaving him and that I would want him back. I knew he wouldn't keep his promises because he didn't make any effort when I was w/him.

    • Then you have your answer. Guys want what they can't have.

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