I want closure from my ex but me thinks I'm getting myself into a pickle. Help?

I broke up with her last month but lately I've been wanting to get some closure on the whole thing as the very reason I broke up with her was because the relationship started to spiral down really fast. Welp, the very week after I broke up with her, she got a cell phone she can text with, which she didn't have before. So I got her number. So I text her "Hi, it's *my name*." But I accidently sent it twice so I said "Didn't mean to send that twice. oops." The next day I ask her why she didn't text back and she said she did text back. She said she sent "Calm down, dude." So over the course of the last couple days, I started to feel the needed to understand the relationship from her point of view. So I texted her, "Can we talk later?" hoping I'd recieve a message. When no message came, I crossed my fingers that she said something like "Sure" and said "Call me when you're ready." At this point I really really want to talk to her and get this weight off my chest, and knowing my ex she probably saw the message and said something like "No, if he wants to talk to me, he'll call me." Plus she didn't know what I wanted to talk to her about beforehand so there's that. But at the same time wouldn't it be weird for me to call her AFTER telling her to call me? I don't want to creep her out but I also won't don't want to wait for tomorrow.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Wait til tomorrow then call her if your that desperate for answers

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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds as if you really do like her and want the relationship to work out and if I were you I would talk about that with her, or not at all for a while.

    There is no closure, except the closure you get from being happy and not harboring any resentment towards anybody.

    You must work on your mind and find out where YOU started to think negatively about her and/or the relationship; not in order to find the reason for your negative thought, or who's to blame; but to soothe those negative thoughts.

    There is no value in trying to understand someone else's perspective. What's valuable is to be happy and in balance with yourself. When you are in a better place, meaning not desperate but more zen like, you will attract her back, or the next relationship.

    There is no real harm in calling her, and you you might feel temporarily better after trying to goad some information from her... but it won't last long. The reason is that happiness really does come from inside. and there's no substitute for that.

    So how do you get to that happy place? You do it by starting to notice your negative thoughts and opinions about yourself and her, and changing your perspective.

    It is a 1000 times better use of your time than trying to force "closure", the biggest booby price of them all.

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  • Damn it dude your overthinking this like a chick would. To coin the X girlfriend calm down. First off you bailed on her at the signs things were about to get tough , grow a pair if you want people to look or act as if your a man. Tough time ARE gonna happen it's called life not fantasy land here

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    • It wasn't the first sign. I reached out to her more times than I can count about it, but it was obvious she wasn't willing to put any effort into fixing it. That's why I broke up.

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    • Seeing it from her perspective would help me move on.

    • Uhh ok. That's your parogative of coarse. If a girl didn't show signs that she wanted to fix our problems and the relationship ended ; I would have all the reasons I would need to move on with a clear conciounce and clear heart. I was there to work it out , she wasn't

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