Guys if you dumped a girl because you "wanted more freedom" what is a thing the girl could say/do to get you back?

So my ex dumped me a few days ago because he missed his friends and wanted more freedom. I think he also didn't like me as much anymore. If you were in this guy's shoe what is something I could say or do to get him wanting me back? We ended it on a sweet note. Me- " I really did love you" him- " I really did love you too" he also told me I could find someone new easy. He didn't see his friends for like 3 weeks tho bc of me. So I think he did really miss them. I'm also going to bonfire this weekend. Should I post pics on snapchat of me having fun? How could I get him back?

just give me ideas on how to. I don't want to get told there is no way or he won't come back it will just make me upset. I just want some hope. Just please just give ideas and nothing else


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Did you not allow him to spend time with his friends? Or did he willingly spend all his time with you? Even with that in mind, it still sounds like he didn't want the relationship.

    You shouldn't go out of your way to try to get him to respond in a certain way, i. e. posting pictures of the bonfire. I mean, if you were going to go and post photos anyway, that's fine, but if you're going to do it just to get his attention, you're just going to create trouble for yourself. What if you don't get the reaction you want?

    Like I said though, I really don't think he wanted the relationship, based on what you've said here.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl, you need to learn this lesson early on---a guy that doesn't really want you is not worth keeping. Seriously, he's just not that into you. Being desperate and willing to settle for a guy who really doesn't want to be with you is only going to get you played. Then you're going to grow up to be another one of those dumb women wondering why they can't get a solid loyal man.

    What you NEED to do is cut off contact with him---NOT be rude about it, or ignore him if you ever see him, but you really don't need to be his snapchat friend anymore or text him or call him or hang out with him for a looooooong while. Not until you've finally gotten over the emotional aspects of the breakup and have zero remaining feelings for him, which again is going to be a looooooong time. Probably months. Maybe years.

    Hang out with your girls, get your mind off him, and DON'T do dumb crap like trying to make him jealous or show him you're having a good time without him (which is a downright lie, because if you were fine you wouldn't be trying to prove anything).

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What Guys Said 34

  • "I want more freedom" is an excuse that guys give to girls to justify breaking up. I doubt that he was being sincere with you when he said that.

    You can't make him want you. Stop thinking that you can manipulate someone else's heart. Let him go!

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  • You have to let him go. Be awesome and let your new life without him show that he's missing out.

    If he broke up because he wanted to be free to be with other girls. It means he wasn't excited enough to stay in the relationship. If he sees you working out, happy. Confident. Talking to other guys and going out with those guys, then he's going to miss you. But there's nothing that you can do right now that will get him back right now and also want to stay.

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  • I think you guys were suffocating each other. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't see your friends. I wouldn't want to be back in a suffocating relationship.

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  • hmm.. I think a well written text to him might help.

    like, tell him hey you miss him, and that you're sorry he didn't have much time to hangout with his friends. You could tell him that you've been doing some reflecting and you see where he is coming from, then ask him if he'd like to give the relationship a second shot. if he lost attraction to you though then there isn't much hope, I'm sorry.

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  • You were bad and possessive! Classic girl mistake,. That is how girls become early on... wanting to spend every minute with the guy, controlling, manipulating and not giving him space, calling constantly and talking for hours. I've heard it from girls in their 40's. Girls get Needy... you need to work on this within yourself. have interests outside of him.

    He needs to spend time with guys doing guy stuff. I could tell you a funny story about that if you want to see it from another angle.

    So call him up (don't text him you textomanic,... like everyone in this generation... haha!). Pickup the phone and say I'm inviting you to get together for some ice cream, I'm buying. What this does is it give him a safe setting with you, its fun, something he likes, and its all comfy. You are not to be NEEDY! you are to be confident and laid back. Practice with a girlfriend if you have to. P. S. this is aggressive behavior for a girl, so have your boundaries, you better know what you are willing to do and not do and I'd say you can only hug and kiss him... my 2 cents. anything else and you are making unwise decision for various reasons.

    Then talk to him about how you realized you made a mistake with him [all above], express emotion if you have to, but I'd rather you be matter of fact. Sit beside because face to face is confrontation. Explain were controlling and so disappointed in behavior. You know other girls do the same its how you are. You are gonna change but you still want to be his girlfriend, but you are going to listen to him more and respect his needs. RESPECT is like chocolate sprinkles on that ice cream to a male! His options:

    * No I've moved on - gonna hurt, but now you know... for now... your 15, not the end of the world although feels like it.
    * Maybe - have to think about it. tell him to call you not text.
    * Ok (but with sub conscious lack of commitment) - like yes, but he really doesn't mean it. bad, but won't know til later
    * Yes - that's what I wanted, and you're good.

    Posting photos on Instagram - classic female behavior. visual stimulation and jelously. So females are sooo funny in your behavior! I'm cracking up! You are all girl! don't do it with another guy in the photo, only with other girls. nothing worse than being pissed off that your girl was controlling you and now she moved on to control some other guy.

    You are 1 step ahead in relationships now! I want full report on this!

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    • being needy is not a classic mistake. its a difference of reference and two people should have similar preferences or should not be together, bc otherwise someone is going to feel ignored and someone will feel stuck.

      no one can force anyone to spend time with them. its his responsibility to stand up for himself. she didn't male him do anything nor did she act badly. she just acted as herself and he does not want to be with her and she should move on. pretending to be who she iusnt apologizing for who she is IS manipulative, its manipulative towards herself and it will make them both miserable. anyhow, it takes two. its never one person. and those two are not compatible.

    • @Azara don't agree based upon how I read this. She said "he didn't see his friends for 3 weeks because of me" indicated to me she was taking all of his time. You may be right he has weak boundaries and that would be his fault. However, in relationship if the girl is coming across as "needy" he may bow to her needs and ignore his own, only to have it backfire. They are young, so I assume they are not strong in individual yet.

      I've heard more than one woman describe how early in the relationship they just want to be with that person. An introvert guy would need space but may not be confident to say "I need this to myself". I just sense boundary issues based upon how it is written.

      You are right though in that it isn't really her issue but likely his as I read it, but I put it on the girl to recognize and allow him space... thus her recognition of that issue.

  • I'd be upfront and honest with him and tell him you see that being clingy and needy is a real turn off to him and he should be trusted more and enjoy his friends, with that said you could also tell him that you are working on keeping yourself occupied got new hobbies so you two could be more individuals and respect each others space. If he responds well to that ask him if he would be willing to give it another go?

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  • Why didn't he see his friends while with you? Change things. If you get back together, let him go and spend time with his friends from time to time. If that truly is the real reason for this that's an easy fix. I know you don't want to hear this but it's the truth likely... he probably doesn't want the relationship if he ended it over this? Either that or you were smothering him (taking up all of his time all the time)?

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  • She could make a deal with me to give me free space and she has to also prove it to me then she's back in the game, but I never had that problem I like spending time with my girl

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  • Just leave it for a few weeks... Don't do anything to "try to win him over". Just stay friends with him and for gaw'd sake dont be creepy around him etc.
    After a period of time, you will both have recollected your thoughts. You could THEN invite him to something - if he accepts, then try and rekindle the relationship. But if he doesn't accept, then I'm afraid you have probably lost him

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  • You could try just living your life normally, once he gets bored with his 'freedom' and craves for a relationship again he might come back.
    Just don't play the 'make him jealous' card.. It'll just make him believe you've moved on.
    Tell me how that works out for you !!

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    • Okay I will but today his friend snapped me a funny selfie with a filter andninreply then he sends Now
      His friend snapped me a pic of all of them together and my ex was in the background flipping me off. I didn't do anything that was hateful towards him in the end b
      Reply

  • You stated..."I don't want TO GET TOLD there is no way or he won't come back it WILL JUST MAKE ME UPSET. I just want some hope. Just please just give "IDEAS," AND "NOTHING" ELSE." Herein lies your problem. You seem to want this individual at the expense of your own dignity. As an example, you opened up with..."ex dumped me a few days ago because he missed his friends and wanted more FREEDOM." This word "Freedom" speaks volumes (TO A MAN). Here is an "Idea" for you. Stop wasting your valuable time with an individual who obviously ranks you much lower on the "Totem pole" than "Friends." This may sting a bit, but anyone who is truly worth your time will demonstrate that you are equally WORTH THEIRS.

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  • you shouldn´t try to get him back. there´s a reason for you breaking up and that reason is that you don´t fit together. don´t try to bent yourself to make it fit, you won´t be happy doing this in the long run.

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  • There right truest me here now. Am not gonna tell you to move on because that's gonna help over time. What am gonna tell you to do is go out and live your life with out worrying about your ex because that's all he is a ex and by his own choice. So don't fight for someone who won't fight for u.

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  • Talk to him, ask him how is it going on with him and some normal random chat.
    When you get the chance tell him that you miss him if he gives a positive response it is patch up for sure for you.
    If he doesn't move on there are many guys in the world.

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  • If it was his wanting freedom, then nothing.

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  • I thought you might have been my age lol. 15 and he wants more freedom? Are you locking him in your garden shed or something. Don't ever get serious about a relationship until there's a kid involved or your over 25. Your supposed to be having fun not lumbering yourself with all the shit us daft adults have to.

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  • You guys are 15, there lies the problem.
    Be or try to be more mature that you dont need to breakup to meet friends. Couples take breaks...
    Tell him that it was a break and now come back.

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  • Sounds like he doesn't want to be with you anymore just give him space and if he really likes you he will crawl back.

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  • When I ended it with my ex, she told me that she was going to kill herself. I told her ok and left. I called her best friend from the car and everything was fine.

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  • You don't break up because you can't see your friends that much (at least not if it was something serious and you always had the option to compromise here) so find the real issue first. I guess he just doesn't have feelings anymore.
    You will probably annoy him if u ran after him now (it's his fault because he didn't made it clear that it's definitely over so he still let some hope in you)
    You can still give it a try and talk to him. Ask him if it's really over...
    What you can do when it's over:
    Cry-->eat chocolate against the sadness-->do some sports against the additional calories. If you don't show him that you are desperate and clingy then you have the best chance to get him back after some time (maybe) I would recommend to move on

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  • Why did he not see his friends? It could easily be resolved by finding a balance between friends and you if you two would just communicate this to each other you could have resolved the issue easily with no hard feelings.

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  • Saw your age and it all made sense

    You dont have to get back at people when they break up with you...

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  • Oh you're 15, I thought you were 22 or something along those lines. Wow, just be young. If you love him, I don't know what to say because most of my life, I was mostly single!

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  • Well, give me more freedom I guess
    If the relation was getting suffocating, I wouldn't like to stay there any longer, unless you let me know that you want to change that

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  • Two can always play that game

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  • No, i wouldn't dump a girl, ever.

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  • "You're not an American"

    Only works on non-American people

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  • He doesn't need 's a relationship atm, end of the conversation

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  • Date my brother or someone she knew I hated.

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  • Really couldn't say anything. If it was about freedom, anything you say will only make him feel less free.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 20

  • Honestly. if this guy is asking for more freedom, it sounds like he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Maybe give him some space. If he truly just wants more time with friends let him have that.

    If he truly wants to be with you, time away from you will show him that. And he will come back, but only if he wants.

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    • His friend snapped me a pic of all of them together and my ex was in the background flipping me off. I didn't do anything that was hateful towards him in the end b

    • Yea, it doesn't matter if you did anything hateful or not. Sometimes people are jerks for no reason, and he's probably telling his friends you were crazy or something (even if you aren't!). Been there. It's an immature move on his part.

  • he dumped you because he wants to be on his on. you can't do anything to get him back he doesn't want a relationship, and he sees you as expendable. move on. its important thing to learn. that yo can move on and things are ok. dignity is more important than a weak relationship. he's not a good boyfriend. he doesn't want to be. move on.

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    • His friend snapped me a pic of all of them together and my ex was in the background flipping me off. I didn't do anything that was hateful towards him in the end. What did he mean by that?

    • well he's not only not a good candidate for a relationship but he's a questionable specimen of human. I'm sorry he's being n ass , but at least you know his true colors. move on open yourself to other experiences other people other men. learn more about yourself and what you love. you'll be better off without him.

      iof he had really carted he'd communicate before it got to the point he wanted out. it was just a matter of convenience he waited till last minute bc its easier for him. never blame yourself for things people throw at you last minute. its 100% bullshit. if it mattered and he wasn't playing games he'd have called to you wayyyyy earlier. and he'd have tried to communicate a way to work things out resolve issues etc.

      take care, good luck.

  • If he dumped you because of that petty excuse, he probably isn't mature enough for a real relationship, just saying...

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  • Oh fuck a duck. You are way too young to be having such melodrama over a guy. I'll tell you right away from what you sound like and say and his reasoning "wanting more freedom" probably attempted to dominate his time and work clingy with him. He felt smothered and suffocated and that's why he wanted out. The fact that you want ideas and nothing else means that you refuse to accept reality and only want to hear pie-in-the-sky dreamy shit.
    Screw this Snapchat crap. That's not a way to get him back. Pictures of you having fun will make him want to come back? When you get such quick ideas? The only possible thing you can say to him is to tell him that you understand that he wants more freedom and that you certainly don't want to get in the way of that. Tell him that you support his decision but hopefully you can be part of his life within that decision. You know the relationship will change but you can see it changing for the better as the two of you grow

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  • Unfortunately, I too fell in love with a man that gave the exact same reason why he wanted to ended things. like you it ended with I love you and I love you too. It was all a lie, he wanted to be single, he said and did the things he did with me after the break up. Why? because he knew i was an amazing girl, and I did not deserve to be treated the way I was by him. Leave him alone, do not contact this man, his true colors will start to show. Sometimes we lose the ones we love, its sad, but sometimes we have to lose to win again. Someone will come along, you deserve the best.
    Your heart probably feels like it has been shattered into pieces but baby girl time heals all wounds

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  • No such thing.

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  • Just continue your life without him. He probably needs to miss you in order to get him back.

    If he doesn't, you already have learnt how to live without him.

    Call your girls for now and focus at work/school. You can also go work out.

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  • The best thing you can do is not appear to be trying to get him back. For example, post pictures of you at the bonfire, but don't send them to him specifically.

    Why didn't he see his friends for three weeks?

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  • You can't make a guy come back to you

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  • nothing, if he wants to be back he will, if not u can't force him
    u better move on

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  • There's really nothing you can do, I'm sorry hun. Him saying he wanted space was 99.9% Just him wanting to get a new girlfriend but not wanting to hurt your feelings. You shouldn't chase after him, you'll just crush yourself more.

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  • Baby girl. It sounds like my ex that cheated on me. However, I was the same way. I wanted advice. So from experience I have some questions to ask you..
    Do you let him have time with his bros?
    Do you let him go out (to parties)?
    Do you try to hang out with him and his friends?
    Do you see what his plans are before trying to make plans?
    And lastly do you tell him that he should go hang with his friends because he hasn't for awhile?

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  • Move on be happy, find somebody who won't drop you when he's bored with his own life

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  • You can meet and talk. See where things are going wrong..

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  • girl he will realize that he does like maybe he just felt like he need it his space bet if he sees you talking to someone new he will be upset and he will want to come back to you.

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  • Nothing. He clearly doesn't want you.

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  • He just use it like a pretext for dump you. He's just an ass

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  • "You can be with other girls while you're with me."

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  • It's strange that he couldn't see his friends for 3 weeks because of you. You should spend time together but not every moment of the day. Hell, not even every day, especially in a new/young relationship. I don't think you need to put too much effort into trying to get him back, sinc I've never known of it ending well.

    That said, I have been "bad" and wasted a lot of time on making guys (mainly ex bf's) jealous. I was really good at it too. So my advise: make sure he sees pictures of you and other guys having fun, preferably guys that are better looking, stronger, more succesful and more socially dominant than him. Also make sure people who see you with other guys, spread the word so he gets to know about it. If possible, make it look like sex is very likely to happen between you and someone else, because that will still make a man the most jealous. And MAKE IT LOOK LIKE, don't actually go fuck around too much because I often did that and you WILL REGRET IT, even if the sex was great. I once went as far as to give my ex's old school bully a blowjob in a bathroom stall and let him send a short movie to my ex (not my idea btw). He actually took me back but of course it was a scarred relationship.

    So best is not to waste time on this. If you do, know your limits.

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  • If there'a any chance of it happening, it will only be if you continue living your life and look and act like you're moving on. Go to the bonfire, be happy, interact with people, and do not text or call him asking to get back together again. If he sees and hears about you doing fine on your own it's possible he'll have a change of heart and reach out, but don't make it obvious you want him back and give him texts and calls or ask your friends to talk to him, because that will only remind him of neediness and a lack of freedom.

    In the end either you will get him back, or you will have done such a good job of resuming to live your life that it will actually help you move on.

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