Why does he keep breaking up with me? The on/off relationship is really taking a toll on my sanity and life. Why is it so hard to stay away?

My ex and I have been together for 2 years on/off. He lives down the block and we were friends prior. I am 22 and he is 33. He has dumped me 14 times and came back each time. EACH break up is longer. Its been 3 months now. I think he is bipolar and narcissistic. He was diagnosed with bipolar when he was young but has gotten no treatment. i still do not see this as an excuse to keep dumping. He blocks me, unblocks me constantly. He calls me up to have sex with me and when I ignore him he gets mad and blocks me again. A few times after the breakup I slept with him and he wouldn't call After. I felt used so I stopped. In the past we'd break up, sleep together, and then get back together: a vicious cycle. He dumps me for no valid reason but gets upset when he sees me in photos with men or when I start dating... but he is the one dumps me. I feel anxiety and extreme stress from him. One week he loves me and is attracted to me and the next I am garbage. I don't understand. He seems to always move on quick. the only way he comes back around is if i ignore him or start dating. I love him and I don't know why. The pain feels worse each time he dumps me. instead of communicating issues and resolving them like adults, he flees like a bat out of hell. Now he only calls when drunk or lonely. He'll say things like he misses me, his moms upset, and just anything to invoke a reaction. He's taking me for grantedand he may never change. i'm exhausted from this emotional abuse. He says he is "done" and comes back around and cherishes me for a little until I am discarded again. i have given this man my all. He even said he'd marry me and talked about children. But when we disagree and fight, it's over. He has no emotions. I fight with him and curse him out all the time because I am in pain and he calls me "crazy" but doesn't realize the damage he has done. Sometimes I feel worthless because of him and scared for the future. I have cried enough tears to create an ocean over him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • huh fuck him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was the same with my ex I kept ending the relationship i really loved him and gave him chance after chance to work with me and through our issues but he just kept on lying and in the end, enough was enough!

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    • So you understand how hard it is.. i'm glad you moved past it. I am trying but it is hard for me. he makes it seem like it is him giving me another chance each time but I did nothing wrong.

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    • yup just googled narcissistic traits and he fits each and every one of them. I feel bad for the next girl. I never knew why he had such a problem finding someone before me and then all this happened and now I know why it's hard for him. I was just vulnerable at the time and fell into his trap I guess. :/

    • Hey hun don't feel bad or foolish, I'm 36 and have a lot of life experience bit still got reeled in by 1 I'm now just so thankful of how strong minded I am as I knew all along something was not right he even gas lighted me saying I was crazy until i visited a cbt counsellor who told me I had a rational and common sense approach to dealing with hte issues! After a year of him stalking begging and harrassing me and my family i am free and you will be too!

      My ex is currently smearing me which is going around telling people lies to get a response but I'm wise to all these tricks good luck, it won't be easy !

What Guys Said 1

  • You two aren't fit for each other just move on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I would say that it's your turn to walk away and find someone better. Someone who will treat you right and won't put you through that. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't have broken your heart so many times. If I were you, I would give him the boot and say "Hasta la vista Baby!" lol but seriously, you deserve so much better than a jerk like him. :)

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    • Thanks you are 100 percent right! Took a vacation to clear my mind and so far so good... walking away is never easy but i'm done trying to figure out him and his weird behaviors... love should never be this complicated i guess. If he really cared he would never have hurt me like you said... but his loss. Maybe one day he'll wake up but it'll be too late

  • Stop taking him back... honestly, at this point it's hard to even have any sympathy for you. Learn to value yourself more.

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