Why does unrequited love hurt so bad?

I fell in love with a guy a couple years back. He was never my official boyfriend. We'd see each other all the time & actually became really close. He knows me very well & vice versa. It was a passionate & intense relationship he just couldn't commit to me no matter how hard I tried to change his mind. I stuck around cried, begged and sworn to never speak to him a thousand times but I'd still go back, or let him back in. He knows I truly love him. And maybe he loved me back at some point but I'm tired of feeling unwanted so I'm staying away. The thought of him triggers my deepest emotions. Why does it hurt so bad?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Was this your first real love? It always hurts, especially when someone tells you that you are not The One for them. There is nothing you can do to change that and it had a horrible finality to it. Yes, it will hurt you for a long time, but the pain will gradually recede.

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    • He was my first love.

    • It has been 45 years since my first love and I still feel slightly sad when I think about her.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you still in touch with him? If so that can make it worse. Also if you've never found closure and heard him say he doesn't care, that uncertainity can make you think more about him.
    I went through the same thing and time does heal. Just know that he wasn't giving you what you needed, he'll never be the man you wanted him to be. Keep yourself busy and think of why you weren't the right match for each other. If he couldn't committ to you now, how much worse would it be later down the line? Would he cheat? We can't change a person, they have to want to change. Sometimes they're not capable of caring enough about anyone else enough to put their own ego and pride aside.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well, that's because it's one sided, the other person doesn't reciprocate what you are showing him, giving him. That's really sad but it's true.

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  • becuz i said so

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  • Because it's like when you give your heart to someone and they stomp all over it. It's never easy to deal with but you'll get past it eventually.

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  • Cause you can tell yourself whatever you like, but your heart will feel differently in that case. You have to learn how to teach your heart how to get over him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • because you need to let go.

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