How do I break up with her nicely?

My girlfriend recently revealed she was bisexual. She never told me. I thought I was ok with it but I'm not. After a bad experience with a bisexual woman when I was younger, I don't want to date another one. I also don't want to be with a woman who has had sex with another woman. Worse part is that it's her birthday tommorow but I don't want to be with her anymore. How do I end this without hurting her?,


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  • So your going to break up with her because of what some one else did? Isn't that a little messed up? I mean I understand being uncomfortable with it if you have had a bad experience but you where fine with her before you knew so if this is literally the only thing bothering you I think you should consider that it wasn't her fault for what happened before and that just as you shouldn't be blamed for what her past boyfriends have done she should not be blamed for what past girlfriends have done. Consider what your giving up and why. Are you giving up something that matters to you because its the right decision, or because your afraid of getting hurt?

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    • I just rather would date a woman who is heterosexual. With a bisexual woman you have to compete with men and women. I can't do that. I feel it's the right decision.

    • Yeah, well with a heterosexual woman your going to have to compete against men, half the population. So that really doesn't resolve the problem does it? You solve that problem by dating women you can trust either you trust her, in which case everything is fine, or you don't in which case it doesn't matter what her orientation is your never going to trust her and your never going to be able to be happy. So whats the difference if she is bisexual or heterosexual? In the end your the one with the issues so the problem is going to follow you not her, cutting her out of your life is just going to mean your going to have trust issues with the next girl, nothing is resolved. What you need to do is talk to her, tell her why you are insecure about it (I presume past girlfriend cheated on you?) and then you try and work things out. The fact is your last relationship with a bisexual woman was bad, and that sucks, but the problem is your associating her actions with being bisexual instead of her

    • being just a shitty person (again I am, based upon your reactions, assuming she cheated on you). So now your thinking all bisexuals are this way but in reality you only dated one so you have no reason to assume that. If a heterosexual girlfriend did the same thing would you never date a heterosexual girl again? I would presume not. Would you assume that all women are going to act the same way? Again, I would presume not. The fact is your associating a behavior with the wrong attribute, if a woman lies to you its not because she is a woman, its because she has poor character and is a liar. Same goes with your situation, she wasn't a shitty person because she was bisexual, she was a shitty person because she obviously had a shitty character and by extention, was a shitty person. Think about it, did you have any issues with her until you found out she was bisexual? I am going to guess not, and that should be what your going off of, who she is, not her sexual prefferences.

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What Girls Said 3

  • There's no way to end it without hurting her. How would you react/feel if a girl broke up with you because you're straight?

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    • It's her right that's how I'd feel.

    • Maybe you could explain to her it's not her fault, and tell her about what happened in the past. At least it'd minimise her pain.

  • You probably can't do it in a way that won't hurt her, but you just simply have to communicate with her with the truth: that you don't want to date her anymore.

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  • I think you should wait until after her birthday. Don't want to ruin her day completely. .. then tell her the truth the next day. Don't lie to her... just tell her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Get your last of everything then end it couple days after her boyfriend

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