"Pictures don't lie". This is what my boyfriend said.. he's convinced that I lied and & cheated from an image captured on my sunglasses - what to do?

I've been dating this awesome guy for almost 3 months now - we've both agreed to be exclusive from the start and it has been going really well to say the least. I sent him a selfie while at the beach last Tuesday. I was alone with no other people nearby. I was getting ready to walk/run the bike trail nearby, was wearing dark glasses and pretty much looked like a scrub with no make up on. He texted me and asked "what are you up to", I responded and said "was doing this" and sent him the selfie pic.. mind you the photo was taken about 45 minutes prior and I was now at Sports Authority.. just killing time. Immediately, he asked who I was with and zoomed in on the photo said I was lying and wanted me to video scan the area (obv. I wasn't there anymore which made him think that I was lying even more). The following day I went through the selfies I took and realized I had 4 all taken within a 4 min period and sent them all to him with the time stamps (only the one I originally sent has a hint of the shadow). Long story short, he's convinced the image/shadow is of another guy, has broken up with me and does not want any thing to do with me ever again. Both he and I have been cheated on in the past, apparently once where there was an image in the photo to be true on his end. I just learned this and can understand but honestly I would never do that to him, I am completely head over heels. And, I've tried everything to help repair the misunderstanding. He's not having it.. I'm a liar and cheater as far as he's concerned. What else can I do to convince him otherwise? I also am offended that he doesn't believe me (this I haven't addressed yet).

Pic attached (referring to right side of edge/rim of glasses).

Updates:
I was hoping that folks would try to steer me in another direction. He obviously meant more to me. If he didn't I would not care and tell him to eff off wierdo. But, I truly thought he was some thing special, only reason why I wasn't giving up. Guess it was just one sided. :-(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well that's complex. The best way to go about it is I'm person explain everything to him be honest about your feelings for him and reassure him that you're not his ex. Also don't be afraid to be angry at him for treating you baddly and calling you a cheater. Remember this has to be done on person face to face not on a phone not in a letter not in text nor on the computer. If you know where he works go and tell him if you know where he lives go and tell him then when your done speaking leave and move forward with life if he really wants you he'll go after you but you have to move forward. Do not let him stop you from saying what you need to say. It will work out for the best no matter what happens so don't be to concerned.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would be glad he wants to break up sounds stupid!

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What Guys Said 5

  • that's a staggering amount of insecurity and paranoia. you can't fix it, and it'll probably get worse. you should be happy that this came up in less than three months. I'd get out while the getting's good.

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    • I agree with you there. No point in her staying with him if he thinks that she's cheating whenever she isn't with him.

    • regarding your update... when you're in the thick of infatuation, it's hard to be objective. he probably seemed like a great guy to you, but his actions here revealed a part of his character that you hadn't seen before.

      This was a very extreme reaction and a wild mood swing. If you'd been a year or two into it and something triggered him, it could have been even worse. This situation sounds prime for severe emotional abuse and manipulation.

    • You're dead on both with your initial comment and the second one.

  • lmao @ fuckin Sherlock there. You've had a lucky escape.

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    • Re: your update. We'd still like to see the picture (since i can't at least). But suffice to say, a guy who actually goes ahead and breaks up on the spot because of nothing more than a shadow, is insecure, paranoid, irrational, impulsive, immature and is basically unsustainable as a partner. You will tear your hair out trying to appease such a person - trust me, i've been there.

    • I've been trying to upload the photo but it's not allowing me to do so. But it would be interesting for those to see what I'm talking about and get opinions. sigh...

  • sounds like he is a the super jealous type and not worth the trouble if he broke up with you over a shadow in a picture

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  • Sounds like a freaking nut.
    Leave this guy quick.

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    • Is he really a nut case or is it that he can not get over his past experiences. He's definitely been through a lot and I was willing to go the mile with him and work through the insecurities. Such a disappointment.

    • His past ain't got nothing to do with you. His unwillingness to handle it is not your problem.

  • That's a tough situation you are in. I don't understand how he is convinced that the shadow in the picture is of a guy indeed and it's surprising that he broke up with you without giving you a chance to explain.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Sounds like you dodged a bullet, honestly. It's understandable that he'd be less trusting because of his past experiences, but it seems like what happened to him has really pushed him into a deep paranoia.

    It's horrible that he's struggling with it, but quite frankly you're better off without that extra baggage. I am sorry that you guys didn't work out though <3

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    • Awee... thank you so much for this.

  • So because of a shadow he thinks you cheated on him? That is so stupid! Honestly you dodged a bullet. If someone is always going to accuse you of lying and cheating the situation could escalate... Find someone that isn't so paranoid.

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  • Actually don't even contact him. He has issues.

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  • He sounds crazy and paranoid to me.

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  • Be happy its only been 3 months. The sooner you get out of that relationship, the better in my opinion! He sounds very jealous and insecure of himself. No need to try to get someone like that back. If this kind of thing starts at just 3 months in, I could only imagine what he will do after a year.. Nothing good.

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  • Seriously? You dodged a bullet with this one... how insecure and jealous must a guy be to accuse you of cheating because some dudes shadow appears in the reflection off your sunglasses? What the actual fuck?

    You're better off without him... seriously.

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  • Are you sure you're not dating my ex?

    I'm sorry but dump him while it's early because this shit is ridiculous.

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  • DUMP HIM.

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  • I'm sorry to hear that, but if he truly liked you he would of waited for you to explain the issue to him instead of dumping you. I believe that you can find someone better who will value and trust you and also treat you like you should be treated

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  • You dodged a bullet. Sometimes people wanna hear "you should do this or that to makeup and get back together" but sometimes what an wanna hear isn't always good for us. When I look at the bigger picture it seems he was just looking for any reason to dump you. I wouldn't be surprised if there's someone else he wants to date. *Hugs*

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  • Aww, sadly he's too paranoid that he will get cheated on. Unfortunately, he's not giving you a fair chance and comparing you to his exs by saying you're a cheater and a liar, when in reality you are completely innocent! The best for you would be to move on. If he can't give you the trust that you deserve, it's best to find someone who will. Trust me, that "shadow" is nothing. Something similar happened to me. My ex sent me a picture of his new shoes in his restroom.. Little did he know he also captured a picture of a used condom just there on the tub. He was out of town at a hotel for work at the time. So you can imagine how mad I was! That, and along with other things, is why he's my ex now. So don't bum yourself down over the guy! You will find someone who is a perfect match for you :) keep your chin up!

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