Guys, Why is my ex still talking badly about me?

We broke up 3 years ago and it ended badly. He did some very mean things to me afterwards like talk about how he wanted to throat punch me on fb on my bday but would turn around and post sad love songs about me on fb. This went off and on for a while, and I told him to stop than got nasty in return which I regret. I almost took him back but couldn't forgive him and he ended up dating someone else. Well, I eventually moved away and he was still posting those songs dedicated to me even though I was gone for months and he was dating someone else. They ended up breaking up but I don't know if it had to do with the fb posts of off and on hating me/loving me. Well he keeps talking bad about me still. If people post something that has to do with experiencing bad breakups and stuff, he always has to like it and comment about us, how I was a psycho and a bitch. I wouldn't have been nasty in return if it weren't for the hurtful throat punching comments and the so damn confusing love me/hate me posts. And recently I messaged him a few months back to hopefully make this stop and was very nice to him and yesterday to tell him that the past is the past and I apologized for my part in being nasty. I told him that I wish he would please stop with the comments and that I wish him well and happiness and to find love again, which I really do. He messaged me back to say he wasn't talking crap and to ignore anyone else saying stuff and to leave him alone. But I have seen his comments myself, so I don't know why he can't just fess up to talking crap and just let it go, it's been 3 years. I want to move on and be happy. I just don't know why he won't stop making every little snarky comment he can. I am really nice to him and have tried to be nice for months, just saying I wish him well and that he is a good man deep down. I was hoping it would let him feel some inner peace and to stop the comments, not to get back in this drama.


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What Guys Said 2

  • 3 years is a long time to harbor anger and to unleash it online.

    I can tell you that the bonding between people is strong and you know it really hurts when it doesn't work, when someone cheats, it is bad, etc.. That can last months. If there aren't two mature adults and healthy it can go violent and angry very easily. This is all in the design in the Bible:)

    he probably requires counseling as he has some deep anger issues, which is rooted in fear... so probably childhood wounds and you exasperated them in the relationsip... maybe. Or he's really just psychologically not good! I do not consider that normal behavior or mature at all, he just has a really bad view of you... which reflects heavily on his maturity.

    do you feel safe, he's just being mean to you? Then block him out and move on. If you don't feel safe, then talk to legal counsel.

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    • Well he hates his mom. Something to do with her cult-like religion apparently. His hostility was worse a few months after our breakup. He kept p

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    • I'm starting to hear this common theme of dodging a bullet lol! I admit I still have feelings but I don't act on them because of all that I stated.

    • Feelings for him? I strongly suggest you get some counseling to help dig into you more... purpose being to explore what childhood wounds and influences are guiding you. Once those things are patched up and not controlling you, you should be able to select healthier people vs feel chemistry for someone who is really really wounded.
      Failure to do so... your "rudder" (the thing steering your sub conscious) will guide you right back to another one... I know from experience and recent study. I went through same junk and 90% of everyone is doing the same:) I want to write a book on this and am thinking about it.

  • I don't know. Because he gets a thrill out of annoying you and your letting him. Block him from everything.

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