Friendship with the opposite sex is too difficult for me. If I sent this to my friend trying to explain, am I being a douche?

It's all inside my head.
And I will hold on to the days before now fondly and wishingly.
I need to live in reality going forward.
I missed you.
You have come back to the office after a week of travelling but I feel your distance still.
Felt closer when you sent me a daily picture of where you were. I knew you were thinking of me.
I think it is too late to be what we (you) wanted us to be.
For years I thought the struggle I was having was simple.
That the heart wants what it can't have, and you are all I could want.
I don't know why you do the things you do. Mixed signals. Chemistry.
I knew I'd love you if I got close.
I didn't think you'd let me in, and this is the closest I felt to anything.
Yet can't be myself completely when I am trying to be someone you will want back.
No matter how much I want to be your friend, my instinct wants you to be mine.
It tears at me when I know I can't happen.
I don't think do this anymore.

Updates:
Thank you all for talking it over.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you just want her to feel guilty for not wanting more than friendship.

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    • That is assuming she doesn't want more.

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    • Rumours already spread about us and I wear my emotions on my sleeve. In a perfect world... yes :)

    • So there are already rumors so who cares

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you send that to your friend, she'll think you're just tryig to get a pity-fuck out of her.

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  • This is way too melodramatic.

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    • Thank you for your opinion, it is helpful. I lean that way naturally.

  • I don't think u should tell her that, it's clear she'd getting the picture of it will never happen, this sounds like guilt, but on your end... not hers, it sounds like you're asking for a second chance but yet giving her an altimatum

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