we've been "together" on and off for 2 years. 3 months ago we started talking again, and i told her i want something serious this time around and i want her to be my girlfriend, and then a month later we decided to give it another try. but we still were not "boyfriend and girlfriend". she said that she needs time, and we're making progress slowly, and that she needs to move at her own pace. i know she has so much feelings for me, and she is committed to me and loyal 100%.
so there i was, yesterday, 2 months after agreeing to give it another shot. i told her from day 1 i want her to by my girlfriend and officially date her.. because since we've met, i've been "the guy she is seeing" and i told her i dont want that anymore. i want to know that she is my girlfriend and i am her boyfriend.
then she started crying and telling me "we're getting there, i'm with you right now, we're together exclusively, but i just need a little more time for us to be so official like that". to be fair, i understand her because we have been through a lot, but i've prove to her that i am serious this time and i want to be her boyfriend, how fucking long can she expect me to wait? how many times can the girl say i need time i need time i need time.
so i ended it, and before i left she said "i'm sorry and its selfish for me to keep you waiting like this. you dont deserve this. if i were you i wouldn't wait for me either." then i walked away she kissed me on the cheek and grabbed me tight and wouldn't let me go, but my cab was downstairs and i really had to leave.
Most Helpful Girl
Well, that's a pity. Seeing your relationship was so great. This makes no sense.
If this is you guys now fighting over the 'silly' things... What will happen in the future when the BIG things roll in? Kids, marriage, death, sickness, disease, loss of family, etc?
IF you all can't make it /commit past the name stage. If you really loved her, you'd wait.. If she really loves you she'll jump in.
I think its more a power struggle between you two than anything else.. No one wanting to give in because you are afraid you will be the 'vulnerable' one... But if you NEVER give in, how can you expect a relationship to work?
IT's compromise.. stop rushing!
My parents waited 18 years to get married, mind you, they were living together that whole time... If you are "exclusive" and with you, why are you caring so much about the title. she needs her independence clearly and you need commitment clearly. I'd say give it a 8 months of official exclusivity - if nothing starts happening by the 8 month, then you know already.
Some things just take time. It's up to you if you want to wait but it seems to me its only a matter of time before you go back to her, so why are you putting yourself through this? It's like ahissy fit - im going to punish you by breaking up with you BECAUSE youd ont want to be my girlfriend!!
Let it be, who cares? You guys ARE TOGETHER! YOU CALL HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND! SHE IS EXCLUSIVE TO YOU! That sounds like a damn relationship to the world... but you are breaking it off because she is not saying it to you? Hmmm... ego check?
If she makes you happy, and you make her happy, dont waste your time on petty fights. Choose your battles wisely. Sometimes you have to lose a few battles in order to win the war. You ARE over reacting (in my opinion).
And if this is you "breaking if off" after every little thing- HOW do you expect her to give in and commit to you when you just break it off after "small things"
I am not saying that what you are complaining is small, if you wish to have a committed relations and she is not willing to give you that then you have all right to break it off and find what you want... but that does not seem to be the case in this situation but rather finding the appropriate name for your situation. Is it really worth it?
I mean... you yourself are already asking... Am I overreacting? That should answer your question ;)
Good luck! :)