"Breaking up" with an ex who is now a friend?

I was with my ex for two years, we broke up very abruptly when things were going well. I was heartbroken and I've spent the last year and some trying to come to terms with what happened as well as trying to salvage anything that was left. After a year of talking on and off and one hookup, we decided to try being friends, and then he confessed to me that he is bisexual and that's why he broke up with me, because he was struggling with it. Now he's decided to share all the details of his sex and dating life with me, and it really started to upset me. Not necessarily because I have feelings for him, it's not my place and vice versa to be his wingman or confidante. Today I told him that I think we need to establish boundaries and I'm not comfortable with him sharing all of that information with me. He kind of flipped and turned everything around on me, said he wants to take a step back from the friendship and made a list of all the people he's talked to about us etc. He also said he doesn't feel comfortable being at my place (I invited him once in broad daylight to hang for 10 mins while I got ready before we hung out with friends) because he's worried something would happen. Basically the conversation backfired and I feel like our communication system has broken down. I'm starting to feel like I need to end this friendship, it's more tumultuous than any moment of our relationship and while I've always thought us breaking up was a mistake (he even said if he'd had the guts to tell me then, we'd still be together) I think too much time has passed and we've changed too much to make a relationship or a friendship work. But I am still worried about what will happen. We were friends before dating so it's hard to let go of years of memories and a social circle.
Should I try and talk to him again to make it work or just take some space? Or should I cut it off and move on. If so, what do I say and how can I deal with it after?


0|0
21

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He needs to accept the boundaries you wish to set if he wants to remain friends with you.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Exs shouldn't be friends. It just gets ugly or causes problems on way or the other. Just stop seeing him.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Exes shouldn't be friends it just causes unnecessary drama, but if you can handle it I would say go for it. But being friends with an ex is not something I would do in my opinion. Once I cut them off, I cut them off for good and never look back. I act like they don't exist, or act like they are invisible, it helped me a lot. If you want to be friends and you are okay with that make sure there are boundaries between the two of you.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...