Getting over your first love?

My ex boyfriend was my first serious relationship and was also one of my good friends for a year before we started dating and we were together for two years. He was my first love and for a long time I considered him the love of my life, and he was my first real heartbreak. We broke up a year ago and while I'm at a much more stable place than I was even 6 months ago, it's still something I struggle with. Everything still reminds me of him and I worry that I can't go out with friends or even on a date with somebody anywhere cause it'll just remind me of him and make me sad. I've gotten to the point now where I can see how our breakup was for the best and how us getting back together is not an option, but I still find myself apprehensive to date other people. I don't know if I just haven't let go of him completely, or if I'm just scared to put myself out there and risk heartbreak again. They say your first love is the hardest to get over, but I haven't had or given myself a lot of resources to cope and heal other than time. What else can I do to let go?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Coming from someone who was the opposite sex and in the exact situation as you a year ago. Be gentle with yourself. You can try out different life styles, for me that really helped, i went from couch potato, to gym enthusiast to angry old lady. Those life styles gave me perspective. People can say get back out there or whatever but that is hardly going to make you feel better. Whoever you end up with will have to carry that emotional weight you do now. Which means, no bueno. So whats left is to simply face whats going on inside of you. If you can afford it, i would suggest outward bound

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What Girls Said 2

  • Getting over your first love is always the hardest but it takes time, and lots of it. Try to delete him from my mind. Take baby steps and if you have him any social media accounts block and delete him. If you have his number block and delete it. Focus on things that make you happy, go out and enjoy life, spend time with your close friends. Distract yourself and pick up a new hobby. Acting like they don't exist always helped me and just focusing on yourself. I know its hard to let go, but time heals all wounds. What caused the two of you to break up, if you don't mind me asking?

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  • May I ask what broke the relationship in the first place? Did he ever try to contact you again after the break up?

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    • If it's okay with you, I will send it in a private message

    • Yes, please. I actually want someone to talk to.

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