My girlfriend and I broke up... I know it is the right thing to do, but I can't stop regretting it. What should I do?

We have been dating almost 2 years. We have had a rocky relationship form the start, but I still love her, and probably always will. She is my first real "love". My first LTR anyway, and it is really hard giving that up. We live together as well, and she still wants to cuddle, have sex, etc... until the day she moves.

She is a great person, but has depression, anxiety, and a bit of a drinking problem and it really affected our relationship. She has been taking medicine and is better now, but the damage was done. On top of that she doesn't really have any friends of her own, and has no car. I felt like I had to take care of her all the time, and it got old fast. She just seem really unmotivated and needy and it started to build resentment.

Now she has decided to move out and to a new city with her mom, to get on her own 2 feet. Be more independent, blah blah. While I think it would be good for her, I can't help but regret our decision. She says she is going no matter what this time, but we have broken up a lot during our relationship, never lasting more than a day though. It is hard to accept it as real this time.

She has a lot of problems that she needs to fix, so do I, but it still sucks. Especially since she is moving 4 hours away, so even if we wanted to get back together later it would be difficult. To top it all off, her mom won't let her bring her dog, so she wants me to watch it until she can find a place down there. I don't want her to have to give up the dog, but I feel like keeping her (the dog) around after she is gone will not help me heal, might even make it worse.

I know that it is best for both of us, and she says she still wants to be with me in the future if we are available, but that she needs to do this for herself, and I agree. It just really sucks. I am excited to be single again, but then something will remind me of her, even if it was something that used to piss me off, and all those feeling just come rushing back. What should I do?

Updates:
I feel like I am fucking up her life, but in reality it is probably better for her to go. I was enabling her to be lazy, drink, and not care about taking care of herself. She knew she needed to do those things, but she didn't need to with me there.

Did I do the right thing? There is still a lot of love, but the spark had faded, and she needs to learn how to take care of herself.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Take some time and be sad. It's ok to be sad.

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  • It sounds like its for the best that you break up. Of course you are going to be sad, and probably lonely at some points. You're used to being in a relationship, so it will be hard to adjust. It's okay to be lonely and sad. That's normal. You just need to keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you broke up.
    You said the relationship was rocky, so it really sounds like this is for the best. But when you "miss it" or "regret it," it's because you are only thinking of the good times. Again, that is normal. You are longing for the ideal relationship. But it wasn't working out. You have nothing to regret.

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