Is this actually considered emotional abuse, or was he just a jerk?

Is this actually considered emotional abuse, or was he just a jerk?

At 17, I met a 24 year old guy on Facebook who was friends with one of my friends' boyfriend's. He sent me a message & we started talking. He worked as a female youth detention counselor & was VERY nice & professional. I've always been mature for my age, never had a boyfriend before this, & he obviously seemed a lot more mature than guys my age. About 2 weeks in, he became a little more flirty & as innocent as I was, I didn't think much of it. I started flirting back & I never saw how disrespectful he was being. 2 months in, he was texting me non-stop. My friends thought it was odd, but again I didn't think much of it. He was moving out of his dad's house on Christmas & wanted me to help him, but considering I was with family, I couldn't & we got in a big fight. He invited me to a NYE party with his friends - which made me uncomfortable - & I told him my sister & I had already made plans & he freaked out & said to "just ******* come." My dad was in the hospital one night & bc I didn't want to leave my dad he didn't talk to me for days & blamed me for not being good enough. I actually started lying to my parents about what was going on as he already didn't want me hanging out with family & made himself look like the victim. My dad called him seeing as he'd blocked half of my family on Facebook & how stressed I was, & Chris got very defensive, saying "She's 17 - do you know the law? There's nothing you can do about it."

Updates:
My parents finally got through to me & made me realize how bad of a situation this was. I felt like I ruined his life after he lost his job, & my parents filed a retraining order & put me in counseling. Two years later, I don't really know what to think. I've been noticing how much of that time I'd blocked out, & still feel incredibly stupid at times for getting involved with him. My counselor has categorized it as emotional abuse, but I don't really like to think of it as that.
When I say "mature," I meant that I never got involved with meaningless relationships and kept a lot to myself, so I wasn't someone experienced with anything like this - I never even had a boyfriend before this because I just didn't care to and wanted to focus on school. I think that's why I'm so disappointed in myself and don't know why I even bothered with him of all people.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • first, thank you for sharing... this is will help a lot of boys and girls in your age to avoid that kinda dangerous relationships. and will help the parents to be more support and eyes open.

    you don't have to feel sad for what happened, you're human being and everyone make mistakes... that's why we're not perfect.
    feel happy for having a supportive parents and thank them for everything and share with them all the details that they need... that will build a bridge among you called the trust.

    this is not emotional abuse, this is called you wasn't smart enough.. but now I believe you became smarter.
    just be careful next time and focus on your study.

    Good luck...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yes that was emotional abuse

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What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 3

  • I would say so yes, if the way he acts makes you scared or stressed out and makes you feel pressured to do things you wouldn't otherwise for fear of making him mad.

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  • Yes that's emotional abuse.

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  • It was either already abusive or it was well on its way. Abusers will often try to cut ties between the person they are abusing and their family, which he was clearly trying to do. The fact that he was "punishing" you for staying with your family shows that he was already comfortable manipulating you. You were abused.

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