My ex (age 31) and I were together for 5+ years and he cheated more than once. He says it was mever emotional which still doesn't ease the pain. We've been apart going on 2 years and he says he wants to get back together. I am very skeptical because of his past cheating. Also, when he has dated during this time apart, we have still slept together which confuses me. I know I shouldn't have continued to sleep with hin. He says that he can change and he wants to change... can I believe him or once a cheater always a cheater?
Most Helpful Guy
Always a cheater, regardless. Everyone is a cheater. They just don't know it until it happens. Monogamy is not natural to humans--otherwise, there wouldn't be millions of people cheating right now. It's simply not in our DNA. It takes cognitive effort to not have sex with multiple people. Women tend to desire "only one" for awhile--although studies have suggested that women cheat more than men, and vice versa: who knows--but they tend to double dip, too. It's a natural thing.
People can change. They usually don't change in any drastic, meaningful way. But it is possible. It's just whether or not you want to take the risk--a risk which you will be taking either way, really. Particularly with some other guy you don't even know. What makes some random guy a better bet than one you already know? If he cheats again, then you know.
If he fucks up again, then you just bail again. Tell him it's his last shot, and if he cheats again, then you're out permanently and won't keep in contact with him whatsoever.1