So my boyfriend of 2 years, left me last night. Now let me give you some background information about our relationship. He is very controlling. He won't let me wear makeup, shorts, even sandals in public. And when a boy in school takes a picture of me and puts it on snapchat, my boyfriend would get really mad and call me a cheater etc. So our relationship was pretty serious. I did everything he asked. And I love him to death. He can really piss me off sometimes but I've never loved someone so much. We argue A LOT. But we always made up in the end and never split. Made a lot of promises that we would stay together through everything. So yesterday morning he snap chatted me and asked me what I was wearing. I got mad of course because I already showed him prior to when he asked. So I said "clothes". And what did he do? Went nuts and called me a f**king smart mouth. So yesterday all day long he was just talking about leaving me and calling me a smart mouth. Even called me a thot at one point. And let me tell you something else. I gave up all my friends for him! All my passwords deleted all my social media and everything so he would trust me. He never let me delete his, and I had found out last week that while we were together he was talking to a girl about having sex. But I always stay with him. Because I made a promise to him. He told me he would fix it. But anyways things were going a lot better this week and then the whole smart mouth situation happened and he messaged me and said bye, and knowing me I replied to him saying I love you and sent him 5 other messages. All of them were ignored. So what I'm asking is what should I do? What can I do to get him back? I love him with all my heart but I understand he is just going to hurt me, I guess I just need some genuine words of advice because I'm so full of negative emotion
Most Helpful Guy
That relationship is very unhealthy and abusive, it's a common sign that when someone becomes controlled and isolated the next step would be more increased abuse, including physical abuse. I want you to start, and get yourself together. This will help you build your confidence and love yourself more.
Get the book and workbook and use it for your own sake.1
Most Helpful Girl
He's abusive. I was with a guy like that for two years and it really messed me up in the head. He would snap, for no reason, and blame me and I believed it was my fault. He'd leave all the time then come back begging to "be friends", saying things no guy has ever said.
That "feeling" you get where you are desperately crying out to him hoping he will "care" again or show you he loves you again, that is not love. The reassurance he gives you after leaving you, hurting you, making you cry, is not love, it's abuse. Love is safe and warm and happy. Love isn't arguing or desperation or anything really negative. And most importantly, if someone loves you and truly, genuinely loves you, they will do ANYTHING to be with you. They would not even imagine leaving you or hurting you, because doing that would hurt them. IMagine yourself: Would you ever leave this guy or break up with him? I'm guessing no? Because you actually love him. Do you like feeling ignored or worthless? Do you like spending your time being happy ONLY when things are good with him? Are you ever happy without him or does he dominate your life and ruin it whenever he chooses to "snap" or "break up".
Ask yourself what you'd do, right now, if you weren't afraid... And choose what to do off of that. You know the answer.1