Boyfriend left me?

So my boyfriend of 2 years, left me last night. Now let me give you some background information about our relationship. He is very controlling. He won't let me wear makeup, shorts, even sandals in public. And when a boy in school takes a picture of me and puts it on snapchat, my boyfriend would get really mad and call me a cheater etc. So our relationship was pretty serious. I did everything he asked. And I love him to death. He can really piss me off sometimes but I've never loved someone so much. We argue A LOT. But we always made up in the end and never split. Made a lot of promises that we would stay together through everything. So yesterday morning he snap chatted me and asked me what I was wearing. I got mad of course because I already showed him prior to when he asked. So I said "clothes". And what did he do? Went nuts and called me a f**king smart mouth. So yesterday all day long he was just talking about leaving me and calling me a smart mouth. Even called me a thot at one point. And let me tell you something else. I gave up all my friends for him! All my passwords deleted all my social media and everything so he would trust me. He never let me delete his, and I had found out last week that while we were together he was talking to a girl about having sex. But I always stay with him. Because I made a promise to him. He told me he would fix it. But anyways things were going a lot better this week and then the whole smart mouth situation happened and he messaged me and said bye, and knowing me I replied to him saying I love you and sent him 5 other messages. All of them were ignored. So what I'm asking is what should I do? What can I do to get him back? I love him with all my heart but I understand he is just going to hurt me, I guess I just need some genuine words of advice because I'm so full of negative emotion


1|0
1212

Most Helpful Guy

  • That relationship is very unhealthy and abusive, it's a common sign that when someone becomes controlled and isolated the next step would be more increased abuse, including physical abuse. I want you to start, and get yourself together. This will help you build your confidence and love yourself more.

    getesteem.com/lse-symptoms/symptom-details.html

    Get the book and workbook and use it for your own sake.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • He's abusive. I was with a guy like that for two years and it really messed me up in the head. He would snap, for no reason, and blame me and I believed it was my fault. He'd leave all the time then come back begging to "be friends", saying things no guy has ever said.

    Just remember:
    That "feeling" you get where you are desperately crying out to him hoping he will "care" again or show you he loves you again, that is not love. The reassurance he gives you after leaving you, hurting you, making you cry, is not love, it's abuse. Love is safe and warm and happy. Love isn't arguing or desperation or anything really negative. And most importantly, if someone loves you and truly, genuinely loves you, they will do ANYTHING to be with you. They would not even imagine leaving you or hurting you, because doing that would hurt them. IMagine yourself: Would you ever leave this guy or break up with him? I'm guessing no? Because you actually love him. Do you like feeling ignored or worthless? Do you like spending your time being happy ONLY when things are good with him? Are you ever happy without him or does he dominate your life and ruin it whenever he chooses to "snap" or "break up".

    Ask yourself what you'd do, right now, if you weren't afraid... And choose what to do off of that. You know the answer.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you, I am going to take this summer to start clean and regain my thoughts and get to know myself and what I need in my life.

    • Honestly the best advice I can give is to give it one week of NO contact, no thinking of him, nothing about him - you'll feel 100 times more clear and sure, because I know what it's like to feel all cloudy and shocked and out of it because of stuff like this, give yourself clarity and you'll know what to do.

    • I will, I think what makes it the hardest to get over is the fact that he always told me he was the only man that would ever truly love me and make me happy, and he always made me feel like I was doing wrong. So my natural instinct is to just blow him up and apologize, but I know that I haven't done anything and I'm not going to contact him

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • i gt one question for you, why are you even with this loser? its not love your feeling its all you have known from an abusive prick. now i know your gonna say i dont know him he is sweet etc. that all is bull crap if he is treating you like that. marrying this guy would be the biggest mistake i oyur life. you need to get away from this and let him some other person to be a jerk to.

    i know plenty of girls in your situation that end up in the hospitl fro, a guy like him and you will be next without a doubt if you dont jsut go and find a new guy. be smart about this and get a better life wit a better guy.

    your young enough to be able to still have a life dont let this prock take it from you. and ignore his sad sb stories its what all controlling guys do when they dont won't to loose control over the girl they have under there thumb.

    any girl with a brain will tel you the same thing get away from the prick before he hurts you.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Don't try and get him back. You will only have heartache all the time. This is NOT the guy for you. A decent guy should be making you feel happy, feel loved, respected and, above all, very special. You may feel unhappy that it's over, but if you do find a decent guy, you will wonder why you ever had feelings for an insecure, immature, controlling boy! I repeat the word boy!

    1|1
    0|0
  • You need to do what you want in life. Personal ambitions focus on that. If he can't support you and be what you want him to be then to hell with that you stand your ground and if he is prepared to give you what you want well maybe consider if not then tell him if he changes his mind to let you know otherwise cyaa

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like a douchebag. Stop thinking off emotion and think logically.

    1|2
    0|0
  • you really want that back?

    seriously?

    2|1
    0|0
  • You are best rid of a man like that. Don't date men who act like you are their property and they can do whatever they want while you have to live the way they want you to. Try looking forward to your new freedom.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Hmm... I'd say it will be harder to get over it but it will be worth it in the end...
    That relationship was abusive, fu*k that... No matter how much you love the guy, HE doesn't deserve you...

    1|1
    0|0
  • sound like a healthy relationship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    0|0
    0|0
  • i really dont know why you want him back
    but i am sure if you waited he will text u back
    just give it a time. and u will see

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly I think it's an unhealthy relationship. He sounds abusive, verbally of course but not sure whether physically. I think you need to figure out why you're allowing yourself to be treated this way. He had a problem to but I'm not concerned about him, my concern is you. You will always allow yourself to be treated like a doormat. For what ever reason you allow this, even if you moved on more than likely you'll attract the same type of male as your ex. I don't know, maybe a female who you're close to in your life was treated or is still treated the same way. Your mother maybe? But for what ever reason you're allowing this, even right now w the two of you being separated, you're still willing to let him treat you this way because you're trying to get him back.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should be happy you are done with a guy like that but than again my advice is never followed and girls usually end up back with assholes or douchebags, I swear it's like girls have blinders over their heads when it comes to a lot of dudes and then the question of where are all the nice dudes lol.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yes I know I think it's just hard to cope with because I excluded everyone out of my life just to be with him, but it's always good to start fresh

    • Show All
    • Though I've been told guys like me are auote on quote ,"boring" so I guess deep down every girls wants some excitement or craziness

    • Good luck to you

What Girls Said 11

  • Although You have just said a Mouthful, @Felisham01, And with his own Big Mouth and Nazi and Nutsy Ways on Most Days... But I understand he is just going to hurt me.
    You are So right here, dear, And with a Full Circle Problem Pattern that You have Yourself Enabled him to Do to Continue to Make your Life a Living hell of Strife, He will Now Somehow Do the same with you Both being Apart and Him Continuing to Run the Joe Schmo Show... He still wants you Under his Rule of Thumb and to Rule with an Iron Fist as well.
    Do not Let him keep Contacting you, Find a way to Block him. He is just trying to Show you tha the means Business, No Monkey Business, And Once he thinks he has you Again, Only stricter, By the hand, He will only Keep Going and Flowing to always make sure you Walk a Straight Line every Time.
    No, Believe me, You do not want This back... He will only get worse with his Control Freak ways and if you end up marrying this Ape, You will Find... No Escape.
    Good luck And Do Some Soul Searching. xx

    1|0
    0|0
  • First off, I don't see why you'd want someone like that in your life, sure you love him and adore him BUT his actions really show that he just likes to control you, you basically are a door mat and do everything he says, does he do the same? Do you ever accuse him of cheating etc. Why are you accepting this as good behaviour? I don't know any female or anyone for a matter of fact who would accept this behaviour in their relationship. Its good he let you go because you wouldn't have had the guts to stand up of yourself, he did you a favour in the end. Girl you need someone whose caring, who makes you happy, who respects you and trusts you to make your own decisions. You can get through it, trust me when you find someone who actually treats you well you'd be disgusted about your ex.

    2|0
    0|0
    • I always have known it wasn't healthy, but I was too afraid to end it because I do care about him a lot. Thank you so much 😊

  • That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship but I think you already know that. He clearly didn't respect you or treat you like his equal and to be honest, I think he did you a favor by leaving you. Why would you even want to date a guy like that anyway? All he's ever done is control you. It's not normal, it's abusive. I understand that you have feelings for him but trust me, you deserve so much better. You deserve a guy who makes you happy and likes you just the way you are instead of trying to control every aspect of your life. That's not normal and you have to understand that he's the one who has a problem, not you. You can't change him.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Don't do SHIT to get him back! Please don't. I know you want him back. I just got out of a sexually abusive relationship and I know it's hard, but you NEED TO FIGHT IT. He's not worth your time and effort. Run away. Do NOT give him the time of day. I just wrote an myTake about it and looking back, I'm so angry at myself for allowing him to treat me like dirt. Learn from the relationship, but don't go back to it. Let him go.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Stop. Do yourself a favor and block him everywhere and start moving on.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Now you want him back because that's what people want after breaking up with someone. However I would advise you to give yourself some time and eventually you will realize what a blessing this is. This is your gateway to freedom. He sounds abusive. You are a woman, you deserve to wear nice clothes, wear make up.. feel good about yourself. His aim is to break you...

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should thank fuck to be done with him and move on! He's an ass hole!!!

    1|0
    0|0
  • How about moving on from this guy. Honestly he sounds like a real asshole. anyone who is controlling like that is a psychopath. Why would you want to live that way? Honestly... you're better off WITHOUT him. I wish you could see that. Ugh...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I know what it feels like when you love someone. But I agree, he does sound controlling and disrespectful. Does he compromise when you argue? Or do you usually end up "agreeing" with him? Maybe talk to him about how you feel right now. He should be considerate and understand. But I think you might get hurt again. I think you deserve someone who will respect you and puts as much effort into a relationship as you do. I hope you find this useful and this works out. :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • girl leave him, never be in a relationship that is self controlling, cause no matter how you feel now, it will lead to life full of unhappiness

    1|0
    0|0
  • you do nothing he left he'll come back watch bc he's a pussy and that he was taking you... girl he's gonna leave you for her or he's definelty fucking her. now gotta make him regret his whole life fuck him FUUUCCCKKKK HIIMMM mf acting like he was shit uhhh girl you doyou. fuck that promise bc obviously he didn't care about the promise. you busting your ass for this guy and he gave no fucks. put all your effort into this relationship and he just sitting there not pulling his weight smh YOU'RE FUCKING GOOD FOR HIM that mf omg i may not know you but i wanna kick his ass for you

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...