What is going on in his head? Would love some male opinions!!! (female opinions welcome too though!)?

My husband & I separated about 6 months ago, he said he was moving out but it was only a break & he would be back. 2months later he told me he was seeing someone else. When he first told me he was unhappy it came completely out of the blue for me, we had always had a brilliant relationship, but with 2 young children and us both working we didn't spend anytime on our own. When he told me there was someone else, I was utterly heartbroken, I lost weight & was in quite a bad place but I struggled on for the sake of my children & was getting through it and feeling much better. After the initial heartbreak of him leaving & starting a relationship, we became really close again, we would go on family days out, talk about everything like we used to all while he was still with her. After being with her for about 4 months, he said he wanted to come home, he loved me, it would always be me & that he would be making up for what he had done for the rest of his life. For the next week, it was all heart & flowers, he put his wedding ring back on & wanted to tell our girls he was moving back in (my ring did not go back on & I wanted to take things slow so didn't let him tell the children). Then after going to give her her things back, he said he was confused, that he didn't know who he wanted, after about a week of not being able to make up his mind, he eventually chose her. He says I am the best friend he has ever had and he doesn't want to lose me. They are now apparently back in their perfect relationship, are about to get a house together & he wants our children to meet her. I love & miss him so much despite what he has done. he still wants us to be friends but I have told him I want all or nothing. I have lots of female opinions but would love some male opinions. I don't understand how he can say I am his best friend & he is still very attracted to me but not want to be with me? What more would he want? We have been married for nearly 9 years and together for 14.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's only words. There will be no being friends. Your only contact should be about the kids and only about the kids. If he brings up anything else hang up or walk away. Time to move on. He's wanting to keep you as a backup plan

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  • Usually your best friend is your partner? I think you should ask him how he would feel if he was in your shoes? Would he be accepting of it the way he's expecting you to accept this? Probably not. The only thing I can think of is he's bored w his current life, who ever this girl is may have sparked an interest that you sparked in him years ago. Obviously he sounds very selfish not to consider what he's doing to his children. As hard as it may be to do, I'd say let him go. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Even if he came back what's not to say he would do it again, then you just take him back. We as men tend to co tongue t Bro those things because many women fail to stand their ground by giving in. I get that it makes things harder w kids as far as taking him back, but you have to do what's best for your children. I don't k ow how much your children know about what's really going on but your behavior, your responses to your marriage are going to weigh in on your children's lives in their future relationships. If this was your daughter what would you tell her?

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