Hey. So about two weeks ago, I found out my boyfriend (of 2 1/2 years) cheated on me twice, with two different women, about a year and a half ago. At the time, he was working/living in a different city. I always suspected something happened while he was gone, and he finally told me. He promised that he hasn't cheated since then, but who knows. I broke up with him right away; I was devastated. But I'm still in love with him, and he said he is going to do whatever it takes to get me back. He's started going to therapy to work on himself and his habit of lying and trust issues. I told him I need a few months (or longer) to myself, to sort out my emotions and what I want to do. He said he will wait as long as it takes. He seems serious about winning my trust back. But I honestly have no idea what to do. He promises things will be different; but he's lied in the past. Plus, my family, who I'm really close with, hates him now, so even if I gave him another chance, I could pretty much never bring him around my family again. He's my first love, and I still love him to death, but I don't think it's fair to him to leave him hanging to hear if I can give him another chance. I just don't know what to do...
Most Helpful Guy
One time... maybe... but twice?
Its easy for most people to just say "move on" or "don't take a cheater back" but most don't even read into the situation.
He is your first love (i know how hard that is to let go)
the time frame (21/2 years is a long time to just pour down the drain)
family conflict (your fam may give you hell for wanting to go back to him)
people make it sound so easy with one sentence replies without looking at the variables. its gonna be a hard choice, and the only thing that makes it hard is your emotions. if you can find a way to push that down, you can watch him with objectivity to see if there is actually change or he's lying again. if you can't, then give him some distance, but keep an ear open. one time cheating is hard enough to forgive but 2 times... along with all the other red flags.
give him some distance and let the whirlwind of emotions die down so you can see clearly, if your feelings begin to fade, which it probably will, you are well on your way to making him a thing of the past.0