My boyfriend cheated on me, should I take him back?

Hey. So about two weeks ago, I found out my boyfriend (of 2 1/2 years) cheated on me twice, with two different women, about a year and a half ago. At the time, he was working/living in a different city. I always suspected something happened while he was gone, and he finally told me. He promised that he hasn't cheated since then, but who knows. I broke up with him right away; I was devastated. But I'm still in love with him, and he said he is going to do whatever it takes to get me back. He's started going to therapy to work on himself and his habit of lying and trust issues. I told him I need a few months (or longer) to myself, to sort out my emotions and what I want to do. He said he will wait as long as it takes. He seems serious about winning my trust back. But I honestly have no idea what to do. He promises things will be different; but he's lied in the past. Plus, my family, who I'm really close with, hates him now, so even if I gave him another chance, I could pretty much never bring him around my family again. He's my first love, and I still love him to death, but I don't think it's fair to him to leave him hanging to hear if I can give him another chance. I just don't know what to do...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • One time... maybe... but twice?
    Its easy for most people to just say "move on" or "don't take a cheater back" but most don't even read into the situation.
    He is your first love (i know how hard that is to let go)
    the time frame (21/2 years is a long time to just pour down the drain)
    family conflict (your fam may give you hell for wanting to go back to him)

    people make it sound so easy with one sentence replies without looking at the variables. its gonna be a hard choice, and the only thing that makes it hard is your emotions. if you can find a way to push that down, you can watch him with objectivity to see if there is actually change or he's lying again. if you can't, then give him some distance, but keep an ear open. one time cheating is hard enough to forgive but 2 times... along with all the other red flags.
    give him some distance and let the whirlwind of emotions die down so you can see clearly, if your feelings begin to fade, which it probably will, you are well on your way to making him a thing of the past.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • never. once a cheater, always a cheater. He will know you will just take him back and he will keep fucking others. Do you want to have sex always wondering how many other pussies have been on his cock just that day?

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  • Fuck no. Move on

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  • Never take back a cheater.

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  • No you dumbass.. stop thinking with your hormones. He will get with you and cheat on you again.

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  • never take him, you have already given him a second chance, if he really loves you he will never cheat you, and here after also there is nothing hold him back cheating you again

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  • No
    At least have respect for yourself when someone hasn't any for you

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  • do, and you are an idiot.

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    • I'm an idiot if I take him back?

    • He not only cheated on you once, but twice. Not only has she shown how little he values you, but what are the chances he won't cheat on you again...100 to 1?

  • never!!

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What Girls Said 10

  • It may of course here, dear, Be a Full Circle Problem Pattern and of course, A Hard habit to Break With... But who knows.
    I can truly see you are In love with him and have Stuck by his Side, Taking him back as you have, Because Honestly, You love him Unconditionally, And want so desperately for him to Change and have Something else Rearranged in this Relationship.
    It has to be your choice, No one can make this for you. You are for sure going to have Trust Issues for a long time until He proves himself to you and he can be Trusted again.
    This Trust Must be Earned, Not Expected, And if you Decide to take the Ride, tell him this, Tell him he is Walking a straight line or he will end up Losing you and Hanging Himself on his own Loss of Hope Rope.
    Your family is important of course but they don't put any Bread nor a Bed on Your table. They would either Too have to have him Prove himself Or... Go to their grave, Hating him.
    Good luck. xx

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  • That is too melodramatic. This is your first love and you are acting like you are 45 years old with no promise. I say dump him

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  • You should never take a cheater back, no matter what they say. Once a cheater always a cheater. If they do it once they will do it again. Have some respect for yourself and don't let people walk over you and just move on. Just turn the page, its done. One chance is enough, if he messes that up oh well.

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  • Wtf no? Move on, and don't look back!

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  • Honestly you need to what you feel is best for you. You can take him back but always use protection you dont want to ne pregnant to find out he still cheating. people can change noone is stuck to act a certain way. If they take initiative to get help then everyone deserves a second chance.

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  • See I was also in the same situation 1 year back. Its always the distance which is at fault or his addiction for his cheating. Rise above such pathetic excuse. I know you love him but cheating is unforgivable act. Don't fall into this trap. Always remember once a cheater always a cheater. So.. do yourself a favour and MOVE ON...

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  • Follow you heart. Honestly do what you feel like is the right thing to do. If you decide to take him back and he cheats again then I'll say pls leave him

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  • if he does it again don't take him back ever again

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  • he sounds like a dog. an untrainable one. let the dog go.

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  • Do what makes you happy yeah he did you wrong but you love him

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