When was the last time you got rejected?

And how badly did it hurt?
Were you expecting it?
Were they in your league?

  • Hours
    7%(26)8%(55)Vote9%(29)
  • Days
    6%(23)9%(59)Vote12%(36)
  • Weeks
    9%(35)9%(62)Vote9%(27)
  • Months
    20%(74)19%(131)Vote18%(57)
  • Years
    22%(84)24%(166)Vote26%(82)
  • Never
    36%(132)31%(212)Vote26%(80)
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, just this weekend and a couple weeks back... by the same guy... my boyfriend. Well, EX-boyfriend now. We were having problems and broke up, but then for 3 weeks he couldn't let me go and would text me drunk or call me or snapchat me and finally I got fed up with it after he revealed he hooked up with someone to me after I told him I didn't want to know. I sent him a rant text to him which had harsh words in it, but if you knew our relationship, they were well deserved. Everything I said was true and I didn't exaggerate. I just let him know I was done with him for good.

    He texts me back an hour later and wants to talk things out, but then two minutes after he sends a text asking if he can call me, he texts me again saying: "Yknow what, nevermind. I'm not sorry my friends came first, but I hope you find someone better for you."

    ***Sidenote: He always put his friends before me in our relationship. He has a lot of friends that are girls and as a girl with a guy bff I know some girls can get a little nervous that they may lose their guy friend and be a little territorial, but they took it way too far and he never seemed to see it. I don't want him to just cut his friends off, but when you get in a relationship, you have to prioritize your partner. It doesn't mean you just stop talking to your friends, but you have to set different boundaries, which he never wanted to do for me. ***

    In my text, I asked him to stop with the apologies because I was sick of hearing them. So, I don't know why he even mentioned an apology. He could have just said "never mind." I'm pretty sure he was pissed that I rejected him for good and then felt like he needed to have the last words so he decided to say that to me. I was NOT expecting that.

    It didn't hit me at first how harsh his words were, but as I kept on reading them I realized that they were really hurtful. In the past two years I've had 2 people already tell me that I wasn't as important to them as someone else and to hear it from my ex-bf (who I knew still cared about me despite his shit behavior) was devastating. I didn't cry the first or the second day after receiving the text, but it hit me on the third day and I just bawled my eyes out.

    I was out of his league, not the other way around. I deserved better and he knew that and I knew that, but I let love blind me. My friends all knew as well. We actually had a lot of drama happening at the beginning of our relationship because people thought I deserved better

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    • Breaking up is not rejection. You're distorting the poll results...

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    • @RandomBritishGuy94 I'm not saying that to sound shallow. It wasn't a matter of looks or me thinking I was better than him. I'm a good person with a good heart and he treated me like crap. Even his own friends "joked" with him about wondering how he managed to snag me when I clearly deserved better. He told me they said that. I never tried to make him feel like I deserved better. He would frequently randomly bring up that he thought I deserved better and I always shot him down when he said that because I didn't like using the word "deserve" when it came to us. I defended him to all my friends the entire relationship, even after we had split and he was drunk messaging me.

      I never tried to make myself superior to him. He always demeaned himself to me while I always brought him up. I'm willing to admit to my faults and I know I messed up in the relationship as well, but I will not be held accountable for him feeling like he was less than me. He put that on himself.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The last time I got rejected was 4 years ago. I was working at a pizza place, and there was this banging hot Middle Eastern 10. I had not known I was attracted to Middle Eastern women, but damn she was fine. I had sworn off women, still, at this point after an engagement with the love of my life fell through. After she fucked a bunch of dudes in Basic Training, and I fucked her best friend. Awkwwwward. So, disillusioned and suffering--from a *lot* more than just that--I swore off all relationships and females. That was when I was 18, after a couple rebounds that I felt nothing for, despite trying.

    This girl at work, always wearing tight yoga pants. She kept coming on to me. She grabbed my ass at one point, and I was like "Dude. That's sexual harassment." Mostly just because I didn't think she was actually into me. Another girl said "Yeah, it was. I saw that." I should have filed on her amazing ass, but I'm sure I would have just been laughed out of the office. And really, I was *profoundly* attracted to her, so I didn't care.

    So, she kept coming on to me. And eventually, I just got weak. She wore me down. I was telling a male coworker about female subtle signals, then, right after, this bitch started doing them right in front of me. It was so obvious; I knew what she was doing, but I got stupid.

    She kept coming, kept pushing. Playing tag with me, literally and figuratively chasing me, food fighting, and sparking the puppy beneath my broken, misanthropic, blackened heart.

    So I rationalized it. I thought, "Well, maybe I could help her somehow." And so. I broke. I asked her out.

    I kept asking her out on dates, and she always found an excuse. I was going to take her to a cheap Italian restaurant. I even bought a rose, for fucks sake. My dick got the better of me, but I was also happy with the hope of not being alone again. Back when I still gave a shit.

    I should have known a girl like that wouldn't want me. She was a rich girl, too, so no way.

    The embarrassment is what hurt the most. I told my coworkers "Did you really think I was interested in her? She's an idiot."

    The only reason she did it was to prove that she could. This other female coworker had said that "No, he's sworn off women. You'll never get him." So she wanted to prove she could. And she proved it. I'll never be taken for a ride like that again.

    Yes. It hurt. Pretty bad.
    I should have known, but I didn't.
    Miles above my league.

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    • You know what really sucked. She kept coming up with excuses. I came up with like 4 or 5 different date ideas, and she always came up with an excuse. And she kept texting me, all the while. It took me that long to finally figure it out. Then I said, implicitly maliciously, "I hope you find what you're looking for [and it destroys you]."

What Girls Said 43

  • Like... a year ago? I was upset for five minutes, assessed the situation, and realized I was blinded by infatuation and the guy that rejected me probably couldn't handle me.

    *Hairflip*

    https://m.popkey.co/4f9016/Y99JZ.gif

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  • I haven't been rejected after asking someone out, but I've show interest in someone and not had it reciprocated, and lost someone's interest after going on a few dates (though it was pretty mutual all things considered). I usually don't take it to heart, or get hurt over it, it's just a hit to your ego sometimes lol.

    The last time something like that happened was maybe a month ago, but I wasn't upset about it. I was flirting with a guy and through the conversation found out he's gay, and not seriously flirting back. It started to dawn on me when I said he looked like Justin Trudeau, and he was happy with the compliment but went on in some detail about what he'd like to do to Mr. Trudeau '^^

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  • I'd say days, since I think I was ghosted... But I am not too sure...
    Other than that, I guess months ago.

    It wasn't nice. I've only been 'rejected' by guys that I was extremely attracted to. And mind you, there has only been a few (can count on my hands) the amount of guys I was actually the ONE to be interested in them first... At least from the 5-8 guys I've been VERY interested in, 3 I asked out, 2 rejected. the others nothing ever happened... so I guess they were not interested since they did not ask me..

    Were they out of my league? Hmmm I guess maybe they were 1-2 points higher than me? to me, they would be 8-9's, I guess to them I was a 7-8. On some occasions, I guess we would both be 8's..

    I guess/think/assume that when you (a woman) ask a guy out, it inflates their ego rather than having him appreciate a good looking woman asking them out, and I think that is a problem... It could also be that I am not their type, very likely... But I don't know... I guess I would say it could only mean two things:

    1) They are way out of my league
    2) They are used to other type of women (the country where I lived, the typical woman looks different to me- tall, blonde, colored eyes, light skin).. while I am tall/average, black/brown hair, dark brown eyes, fair/tanned skin,) So I would assume that that plays a role in attraction as their definition of beauty is otherwise. However, when I go to other countries/places, I am considered a very hot/beautiful/pretty woman... There as well, but it's different.. I dont know lol

    just some extra Fyi :p hahah

    Unfortunately rejection is a part of life when we seek for different things than what we offer:) that's just how it is.. there is no click/match between what one offers and what the other person seeks, when that connection is in balance or harmony or what both parties are looking at/for, there is and will be no rejection but agreement and acceptance. (At least in my opinion).

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  • Rejection has to do with so many things and many are not in your control. You can't get bummed by it but you can try to normalize it.

    Trust me in this. People below your league will reject you because they aren't right with them. People will treat you wrong if you let them.

    Go into every new encounter with realistic views on outcomes. Why are you approaching this person be calm, relaxed and seek common ground. Okay so set up shop at a particular bar or whatever and make friends with the staff, they'll be your buffer.

    But if you are looking for a relationship and not to be an ass slayer then just know by sheer nature of humans if you meet someone you can home a convo with and are attracted to the chances are like 1 in 10 to 1 in 20 at best. You have to hit on 10-20 girls to find one you might date and love somewhere down the line.

    Love is strange sometimes it happens in an instant an sometimes it builds. BUT YOU ALWAYS NO WHEN IT isn't EVER GOIBG TO BE THERE.

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  • it was 2 days ago and everything seemed great until i said something that it look ed like he didn't like. he mentioned i had soft hands as he was rubbing them and i said very nicely no sarcasm in my voice at all, that they are suppose to be soft and then he kind of backed off and gave me a frowned face and said i was just saying and we continue to talk

    Whats funny at the end of the date at the park, he said twice he was gonna come to me next time bc we live 30 mins apart and i said ok.

    then right before he got into his car, he said take care, be safe and as i got in mine and drove off next to him i looked and waved one more time at him and saw him look up as i did that and he didn't respond and looked back down, which felt like rejections and here it is 2 days later and heard nothing from him. So oh well lol

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  • Like 2 weeks ago. He didn't even bother directly telling me either. He just acted like I don't exist and kept ignoring me after making me think I actually had a shot with him. It actually didn't hurt too much cause he would have been long distance anyway. I was expecting a rejection eventually. I don't believe in leagues but I did think he was a much better programmer than I am.
    The first guy that rejected me (like 5 months ago) actually hurt the most cause he was a childhood friend.

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  • Once. In middleschool [lol, right?].

    Funny enough, he tried to ask me out in high school. ((After I'd started developing the figure I have now.))

    By then I wasn't interested and politely turned him down.

    - I always let guys approach me. Not because I'm afraid of rejection.

    The type of man I like is confident and bold. He wouldn't be afraid to approach.

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    • Heh. I've been rejected (or, more properly, shown non-interest) quite a few times because of my height. Yr not quite as tall as me, but, I'd be surprised if that hasn't happened to you at least a couple times? Mb you just didn't notice?

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    • Woah 😮😮
      Lucky!

  • Like a year ago.. Or two? I don't even remember.
    He was my first crush and apparently I was "too tall" for him but w/e. I eventually got over it and we're still friends 😂 I never had to approach anyone after that because they alwyas approached my first :P

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  • Last night... the batteries in my vibrator died...

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  • Years ago when I wore this hideous, stiff, leather crocodile dress with a cheap looking gold zipper down the front. Lol

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  • It was actually years ago by my current boyfriend lol. It made me cry but a few days later we become a couple and now we're still together. :)

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  • Never, never make the first move, actually I kinda did with my ex, I told him I liked him first, but he told me had a crush on me first, I wasn't rejected, he liked me back.

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  • Few months ago. They were married and I didn't even know it lol, he and I had been pretty good friends for a couple years, but he was my mechanic lol. No hard feelings, glad he rejected it, I wouldn't want to be the woman on the side. We're still good friends though.

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  • Somewhere in May, which was a couple of weeks ago. The guy just stopped talking to me after he seen what I looked like. I will admit it was a bad picture of myself, but that was an ass-hole move. To be honest he wasn't the best looking person either, but I liked his personality and we really connected, but he would rather give that up solely because of looks. His loss. :/

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  • Sooo like I voted I have never bee rejected, but I have rejected people, they said it felt like they were being torn apart others said it was just a dull ache (most of them are close guy friends that tried well hooking up :D ) Well they shouldve expected it, everyone knows I have a hugee thing for this guy and he likes me back its just really complicated :D Hahha I am totally in their league they are awesome super hot guys but my heart is already taken :)

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  • Didn't really hurt since it was just a simple crush/interest:)

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  • if going out with a guy once who then disappeared afterwards counts as rejection, then I was once rejected years ago. oddly enough every time I ran into him anywhere he would feel the need to come over and say hi. really weird and annoying.

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  • I've never been rejected and I have asked a good amount of guys out.

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  • 3 years ago, not sorry tho...

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  • Never, come on, guys are horny ;)

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  • 6 months ago, hurt like Hell or pissed me off as hell, was I expecting? Kind of, yeep I knew it but ws hopping it would be otherwise. No one is in my league and no one has me in there league.

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  • February. And it hurt like nothing else I've ever known. Still does.

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  • months ago, yes I was expecting it, but it still hurt like hell, I could not say if they were in my league because I don't know what my league is

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  • I have never have, F.

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  • Never lol

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    • Lol, you would say that. You've clearly have rarely taken the chance where rejection is a possibility.

  • Never and hope it won't happen ever

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  • I've never been rejected relationship wise

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  • I can't really remember

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  • I got rejected months ago from a friend. It hurt at first, I didn't know what to expect. He isn't out of my league and we are still friends.

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  • I never got rejected because I was always approached first

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What Guys Said 45

  • E, I think. I think it was some girl at work. Possibly an intern there don't recall. Didn't matter she already had a boyfriend anyway. In the end I've learned that even if it did work it wouldn't last, and besides co-workers and fraternizing in the professional work environment is bad, and even worse if something really bad happens such as cheating, a really bad break up, etc.

    Nowadays I really don't give a fuck any more. I realized that it's all a lie, infatuation, lust, physical attraction, love, affection. None of it will last forever and we only chase after these things because of the whole biochemical process in our brains and bodies, "Hormones". It's just trying to get us to mate and reproduce but I realize there's not really much point to it other than if you want to and think that it is really important to you then you'll continue to pursue regardless of how many rejections you would have to go through or suffer through. But I didn't care anymore, reproduction, family, marriage means virtually nothing to me. Because everyone and everything will eventually die in the end regardless. So all those feelings that people get when they see someone pretty or handsome or physically attractive is just the beginning and it's all but a delusion and an illusion as the outer appearance doesn't last forever and then either people do what they do to settle and keep it going or they don't. People and all biological things just continue to follow that process and either they give up when they realize the truth or they continue to follow and conform to continue reproducing because they want to. Hormones are just there to prevent any living organisms from eventually becoming extinct since it cause sexual desires, interest and attraction in the first place.

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  • About 28 years ago.
    When I was a teenager and then a 20-something I could almost not get a date.
    About age 30 applied some rational thought to my situation and came to the conclusion that whatever it was that women wanted I was the opposite of that, so I walked away.
    I stopped caring about rejection and being Friend Zoned. I stopped being interested in women and I stopped approaching women.
    I walked away and went monk.
    Funny thing, not long after that women began to pursue me. That is still happening.

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    • @cth96190 That's about where i'm headed at this point. I'm so done its not even funny. Shitty thing is I have such a high sex drive though. I'm tired of putting in all the effort I think i'll go monk man

  • Pain level: It was somewhere between MFing awful and incredibly terribley MFing awful!

    Yes I was expecting it... I knew it was coming...
    They were below my level. It was a new boss at work after 26yrs of dedicated service. Companies suck! Leaving was really a good thing and best thing in my life but the way they did it was torture and cruel. I lost all respect for them... but I get it as well... Thus, I don't like corporations so much and I favor the small business/guy when I can!

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  • About 5 years ago

    - didn't hurt at all, dissapointed but i had my eye on another girl the week after. We went out on a couple of dates but just didn't really click (she was Austrian and didn't quite get our British charisma) I would have given it a little more time but she declined.
    - It was a 50/50, i never go in expecting to get rejected but im not bothered if it happens.
    - Hmm probably out of my league. She was very attractive.

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  • 2011 lol. Was a hit and miss year for me. Had a girlfriend. Dumped her. First girl I asked out stood me up. Came back around to ask me out, but because the last time I rejected her. Was talking to another girl who wanted a relationship and I didn't, so she just stopped hooking up with me. Don't know if that last one counts as a rejection. But yea, 2011 was a revolving door in the girl department.

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  • Lmfao, at all the GAGGERS in the 'years' or 'never' section. Seriously - all these guys (and some girls) on here complaining online they don't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) and they basically never even approach. I mean I complain sometimes, but at least I'm making a f**ing effort, you know?

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  • About a year ago and I didn't care and neither do I care now. Now that I think back to it, I wasn't seriously even in to her.

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  • Months... i just haven't put myself in a position to be rejected...

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  • I find it highly speculative 29% of guys and 35% of girls never got rejected, considering only like 5% of the population has the looks to accomplish that, and less than that would have the luck not to ask someone out that already had a significant other, or for whatever other reason the person asking had little to nothing to do with. I'm guessing those people are inflating the truth, or have never approached someone for fear of rejection.

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    • Or more likely, those guys (and girls) just never put themselves into a position to get rejected because they have *ahem* no balls. Or maybe they just stick to online dating... less scary on the whole, I guess, and 'rejections' don't technically count. Who knows?

  • Yesterday morning I asked a girl for her number at a fast food restaurant I was at, and she rejected me... but she was engaged or married (I didn't see the ring until later).

    Does that count? :-P

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  • Hours. I'm not sure about hurting (yet), but I definitely feel a huge vacant in my life now.

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  • you know that feeling when a girl rejects you, it hurts for the first hour or so. But then you realise she wasn't want you were attracted to or up to your standards. Well that was a few weeks ago. I don't know why I liked a potential lesbian, weed smoking, poor girl.

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  • rejection isn't heartbreak kids.

    lol at never.. . if you've never been rejected, you've never tried.

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  • Lool i feel sorry for people who said hours. I got rejected months ago. it is bad since im not usually the type who put themselves out there to get rejcted. I felt my stomach fell down under my feet. Its still holding me back from getting close to anyone now she wasn't out of my legue. I didn't expect it at all i thought we would be togther...

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  • Haven't asked any girls out as of late. My confidence is long gone dead and forgotten.

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  • It was like she said no, it was more that she was flirting with me, like she initiated, and then after texting for a little while I was like hey you want to hang out and she stopped texting me. So it wasn't that it hurt, it was just that it confused me. I didn't/don't understand what happened.

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    • Oh, and definitely in my league. She told a mutual friend that she thought I was “fine as hell"

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    • @YourFutureEx yea, someone posted a question about having a girl/boy friend in the side, not cheating but like a reserve in case things don't work out with your current girl/boy friend. After I read it, I think that's what I was to her. Like she had a boyfriend, maybe she was thinking about breaking up with him or already did, but by the time I asked her out they got back together.

    • This makes sense.

  • Months. Close to a year ago.

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  • Years for me because I don't ask anymore lol. I'm fine being single.

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  • Two hours ago at the gym. Zero fcks given.

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  • I think on Friday. I say "i think" because a girl took my number and she still hasn't called or text me, even though when I asked her out she said yes.

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  • Passport control in America... They didn't take kindly to my story about being in a band and rejected everything I said! lol... Lesson number 1 ... don't joke with people with guns... It soon becomes a one sided argument lol

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  • the first person i ever asked out was last year he was a femboy i met at a gay bar [ T_T gay bars are weird ] and he told me the most racist shit i ever heard. " eww id rather suck a horse dick than a N***** dick. T_T true story.

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  • 4 years ago. still hurts xD i guess that´s how bad it was.

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  • Last week when I was playing ball. I got rejected from behind going for a layup :(

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    • And it didn't hurt me much (although my ego was a little bruised), I didn't expect it because it was from behind, and we're all just received players so we're in the same league ;p

  • You mean like, by a girl?
    Never :p

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  • You can't get rejected if you never try. I BEAT THE SYSTEM!

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  • i can't remember.

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  • Not sure I'd exactly call it rejection, but she made it clear she was more attracted to my brother.

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  • Weeks ago

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  • I grew out of being hurt by rejection.
    Toughen yourself from it.
    Tis nothing but a scratch.

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