My ex left me for someone else?

Hi everyone, I'm just so caught up in a bunch of mixed emotions about my situation. My ex first gave a A LOT of excuses why it wasn't working out with us, but to me if he would have done his part we would have been happy but he refused to and broke it off. He denied leaving me to be with someone else, but a little before a month I found out. We've been together for 8 years and he proposed to me and had our parents meet and talked about our wedding etc. But when I suspected he was hanging out and talking to this girl and confronted him of course he denied the whole thing. He'd call me almost every night or and during the day every other day. I know the best thing for me is to move on because he had no problem throwing away our relationship for her but I can't help being bummed out about our future we've always talked about together and can't help but think of him making it all happen with someone else, when it should've been me. I have put in so much into our relationship and in the end He left me... He's not what I always thought.. I thought he was better than that. I always catch myself thinking of how he's holding her and kissing her and just doing everything he used to do with me with her and he's probably happier... I don't know I guess I'm letting it get to me but I'm really struggling to get over it and move on... Advice? I guess... thanks...

Updates:
Also do think it's a bad idea to take him back, ever? I love him but I don't want to be someone's second choice and what if I don't find better than him? I don't know..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its hard to get over that shit that's for sure. Especially like when you say you put so much effort into it and they don't. Don't know what to tell you I tried dating since my ex and it hasn't really worked out not much luck, and the sexual chances I've had I didn't go for cause I still think of her and she has me blocked on my phone and social media so its not like she gives a shit about me. Those with big hearts probably tend to obsess or have a hard time letting go

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    • Yeah I know it does suck big time.. I feel the same too.. Yet he's trying to put stuff on social media to make it look like I'm the one that did something wrong or post things to give people the impression that I cheated and lied to him..

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    • I wouldn't get back with him

    • Kk thanks :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its hard to get over a heartbreak I know because I've been in one before. I put in all the work as for my partner he put in nothing. Move on the best way that you can. Pick up a new hobby, hang out with your closest, keep yourself distracted and give yourself time to grieve if you need it. I've been in that position before and it hurts so much especially when you are the one that cared so much. Time heals all wounds though. But do not take him back, at all. If the relationship failed for whatever reason don't try to repair it or fix it just let it go. It just didn't work out, and you just have to accept that. If he comes back then okay if not just move on, keep walking don't look back.

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    • Yeah, he's already telling me he made a big mistake again but I don't respond to his messages.. I guess I wish it would turn out for the best but I don't think I can ever truly forgive much less forget any of the things he's done or said to me... Thanks a lot for your advice :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Well sometimes you gotta learn in this life, that people
    have different stereotypes and ways of thinking.
    If he want's to be alone do not pressure him, to get back to you...
    You can't force somebody to love you, doesn't matter the duration of the relationship.
    If you love him, you can tell it, but if he ignores you and don't respond, respect yourself!
    The more you thing about him, the more hurted will you are.

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  • That sucks.

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  • Meh. You're still young. Get over it and find someone else.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Are you even sure he wants to get back together? If he could throw away 8 years that easily for someone new he must have been damn sure of what he wanted and had been thinking about it for a while. Even though he's giving you signs that he might, he probably just misses you. You were together for 8 years, of course he misses you, but it doesn't mean he wants to get back together. Breaking up with someone, even when it's your choice, sucks, you're still going to go through the grieving process and question your decision. Don't let him give you false hope. The longer you are together he harder it is for both parties, it's like losing a limb, you're so used to having them around and talking to them on a daily basis so it's hard to purge them from your life, hence why he's still coming around the way he is. Don't be fooled! Cut contact with him and move on. You'll never get over him if you keep in contact with him. Sorry you're going through this!

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    • That's why I don't understand why he calls me every night and day. He called my house phone and left a voicemail and also have been calling my cell phone and texted me saying he's always messing up and how nothing is the same without me blah blah and how he wants us to work it out. I have cut contact with him ever since this whole thing happened and he came looking for me at my job but I never went to meet him... So far I do have a strong feeling that he is just all talk and agree with what you've said.. I just question it I guess because I do love him and is hoping there's a chance of him changing...

  • He sounds like such a jerk! I understand your grieving process. You have every right to be upset, investing that much time and love into a relationship. First and foremost, give yourself that time to grieve. Doesn't matter how long you need to, just do it. You need to get out all the hurt and anger in order to rid yourself of it and find peace in the end. Knowing that you will find someone better who won't do that to you and will be the perfect fit.

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    • Thanks so much I really appreciate it. ❤️❤️

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    • Even if he changes his mind, you would have to be weary that he is flaky. He threw all those years away like they were nothing and found someone else. You don't need someone who constantly changes his mind about what he wants. That will only tear you apart even more. You deserve so much better!

    • Thank you. My mind is clearer now from your advice and everyone else's. Thanks again :)

  • Don't take him back, ever. If a relationship falters, there are few reasons to ever take someone back. Some things such as distance or schedules or timing can ruin relationships, and in those scenarios where they end because of that. In most other scenarios, it's because the relationship simply would not work out. In your case, you outright deserve better than that.
    It's alright to be hung up on it too, especially since it was 8 years. That must hurt like hell. Time will heal all wounds.

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    • Thanks a lot, I started letting it get to me again and your post makes me feel better..

    • Glad to help. :)

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