I am so confused, please help me. I don't know whether I should let her go or not. What should I do?

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Moved in together after about 4-5 months, which was probably too soon. I love her to death, but she is incredibly self destructive, and irresponsible. She has extreme anxiety and depression at times, and has finally started to medicate herself, but I feel like the damage has been done.

When we first started dating she had 2 jobs, but a "friend" that she worked with convinced her to quit her job to work somewhere else, but lied to her about how much money she would be making. Eventually she was broke and in debt. She was going to move in with her mother, but I suggested she move in with me instead. Should have just let her move in hind sight.

Since then she has had probably 8 different jobs, and has quit 3 of them during times when we were "breaking up". Had a fight said we were through, only to make up a few days later after she would miss work or quit her job to move out. I will never understand why she does this. I think she just feels like she needs to start fresh, but it just ends up fucking her over.

I have stuck through this, and supported her throughout this entire relationship basically. But because of this behavior. Our attraction has dwindled. I still love her more than anyone, but she also stresses me the fuck out. I am constantly worried about her bills, her debt, her dog, and how she is going to get to work (she doesn't have a car either, it was repossessed because she couldn't make the payments.) I have sacrificed a lot in the relationship and she just seems to take and take. I know she doesn't mean to do this, but that is what scares me. I fear this is just how she is.

She knows the problem, and "tries" to work on it, but it all seems to go back after a week or two. I don't even want to have sex with her most of the time, and it really hurts me to feel that way. I told her I couldn't do this anymore, and she needs to move out so I can have a friend move in and start saving some money.

Updates:
She has agreed to move out, but it has been really hard cause she still lives with me until she can find a place to go. I feel like I am making a huge mistake, I love this girl so much. But there are also times when I can't stand her attitude towards life. I feel guilty for wanting to have sex with other people, yet I still can't get used to the idea of her not being there.

She wants to try and move out but keep dating. See if taking some responsibility away will restart our relationship.
I can't really let her live there anymore. She gave her two weeks at her job cause she thought she was moving, but has since decided to stay since I won't watch her dog while she tried to find a job in a new city. I also already asked my friend to move in, and I have backed out of this twice with him. If I do it again he will be pissed, and I would feel bad. Plus I can't let her stay there without a job or a car anymore. It is too hard on me.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think you've done anything wrong... She has issues, and I hope she can over come them. But she will never be able to if something doesn't change in her life. Trust me- I have been there. You obviously love her, and sound like a good guy. This has got to be a painful situation for both of your. Good luck!! I wish I had more helpful advice. Shoot me a message if you ever need someone to talk to :)

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  • I personally would do a trial separation. Let her move where ever. She's an adult to. A mental illness only gives you some excuse not all...

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  • You're not happy. That's reason enough to leave.

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