Its taken me two years to come to terms with this, i've always been strong, independent but I can't help but feel my relationship has changed who I am dramatically to the point I feel like an empty shell in a body.
Been with my boyfriend a couple of years on/ off now. for the first 6 months or so, he was amazing, so loving, made me feel beautiful and loved and safe. Now, all I get from him is anger.
I can't explain it, its not so much that he treats me badly, he doesn't hit me, or anything like that.. its more words.
He's said things like "you'll be nothing to get over" "I wish you'd fuck off for good" "bore to my life, a drain on my time"
He never says love you anymore, he looks at me like i'm the most disgusting thing to walk this planet, and he never tells me i look so much as decent let alone beautiful. I just feel completely disgusting around him.
I've never felt 'good enough' in any relationship I've been in, but this one feels different - past boyfriends have assured me i am good enough, but this one almost assures me that i'm not good enough if that makes sense. He's got a sweet side, which i witness very rarely but the rest of the time he's such a nasty person, not the guy I fell in love with at all.
I know you guys are going to tell me to leave, but I love this guy so so much, I don't know how to build up the strength to leave and lose him.
Most Helpful Guy
sacrificing your happiness for him by staying in that relationship won't change anything but make you feel weak and tired.
you're tired because you put a lot of pressure on yourself... while things only require a little bit of selfishness to see things clearly and to take a positive step to end that drama. don't be afraid and be brave.
Most Helpful Girl
You don't need to build up the strength to leave and "lose him". You already have the strength, he's just beat you down so much emotionally that you feel you don't. One foot in front of the other. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it hurt? Yes. Will you question if you've done the right thing? Probably. But it will also eventually feel like an enormous burden has been lifted and you can finally breathe for the first time on a long time. You will learn to love yourself again and that is an amazing feeling. You're not "losing him". You're finding yourself and HE is losing you. Good luck!0