Yet another "should I try to get him back" question?

He's 25, I'm 37. We had a really nice relationship for a year, hardly fought and were great hanging out alone. The problem was that he didn't like going out, where I like going to nightclubs etc. He'd get really jealous over older guys (who were just friends) talking to me and disappear so I had to find him all the time. It was pretty annoying, but I understood how he felt so was (and am) fine to put up with it. (That's entirely my call what I will and won't tolerate). I told him I was fine with him staying home if he wanted. The night we broke up was at my best friend's birthday. He got really drunk and left after he saw another guy talk to me. He was crying out the front, saying how much he loved me and seemed pretty emotional. Yes he was being a baby, but I'm really ok with it because nobody's perfect. The next day he went really cold and ended it with me. I took my things and left and we haven't spoken since. It was exactly one month ago. He hasn't unfriended me on facebook. I really would like to give the relationship another try. i'm just trying to figure out when is the best time to make first contact. I don't want to appear desperate. It's his birthday in another month (2months from break up), do you think it is best to wait until then as maybe 2 months doesn't look as desperate as contacting out of the blue after a month? I don't know if he's interested, but he really seemed very in love with me for the last 7 months of the relationship. It's just hard to imagine he doesn't want or love me anymore, just like that. I asked him when we broke up if he had wanted to end it before that day and he said no. I believe that as he is a straight shooter and would have just said if he'd been thinking about breaking up for a while. I suspect that he's very embarrassed about his behaviour that night. What do u think please? :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes you cross a line in the sand with people and they decide they want nothing to do with you anymore. Whether that's the case with him I don't know. Tbh he sounds like a bit of a pussy, although he redeemed himself by having the balls to dump you when he'd had enough. You should decide if you wanna date someone that insecure. Ultimately some people are insecure, guys can be this way and so can girls, it's not that hard to keep the peace by bearing that in mind, which you might have done a bit but clearly not enough. He's probably better of with a quieter, non-meat-market going girl, with fewer male friends queuing up to bang her.

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    • yeah look dude, I realise that you're trying to sound tough etc but at my age I've seen it all mate! So you're not having the effect on me that I think you wanted, haha.

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    • Trust me mate, I'm hot. Damned hot. You're an angry child, your comments mean nothing.

    • P. S - You're a f*ckhead mate.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's intimidated and insecure with the age difference. if you miss, love and want him, don't wait. To think how it looks to call or wait implies a game being played. Don't play games. Before you do call though, think about your future, his future and your future together. If you do love him, you should think about what's best for him and push aside your own needs at this moment. I'm the younger in a fairly large age difference relationship myself but I can only imagine it's much different in you and your bf's case as the genders are reversed. Good luck.

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    • Thank you Sarah. I'm trying to protect my ego, and also don't want to experience full-blown rejection which is why I was wondering if waiting another month is a more subtle attempt at re-entry. It's important to my self-worth that i don't act like a desperate fool. :)

    • If you are more worried about your ego, I think you should move on, get busy with other things in your life and forget him. By waiting two months he'll be more likely to have completely moved on. What then will become of your ego after 2 months of fermenting in your sorrow?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think @RaggaMon told too much #truth lol!

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  • That's all just theory, ask him about his feelings.

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  • No, an ex is past history. The same issues that caused the break up will always be there.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He's a young guy full of insecurities and pride. He'll most likely message you because if he truly did love you, then he wouldn't break up over something so childish. Guys at that age are still developing (mentally), so give him time to come back to reality. His pride has taken over right now, and it could stay that way for another couple of weeks. One month isn't that long. In the meantime, try and move on.. don't wait. If he doesn't message you, then clearly he wasn't worth it in the end and at least you have gained your heart back.

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  • I would wait and send him a really nice birthday card, but don't go too far over the top with it, as it will indicate you being somewhat needy

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    • You reckon? I reckon sending a birthday card is way over the top, haha. I do deserve an apolgy for his behaviour so don't want to reward him. Just wondering if I should take advantage of it to at least get into his head if I haven't heard from him before then.

  • I think it's over :(

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  • If you want to, why not. Jealousy can lead to controlling behaviour though, so I'd watch out if I were you.

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  • I think that if u are willing to continue to put up and enjoy his childish behavior then go ahead but personally I would not. Too much drama and also insecurities. From my experience men who are too jealous have something to hide themselves 😳

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