Broke up with me, but still feels connected to me? HELP?

I was dating this guy for 5 months, he's in the marine corps. we became quite serious, with him starting talk of our future together. out of the blue he broke up with me cause the distance was too hard… over text... but said he wanted to stay friends and that I should “save him for later”… this is when the mixed signals kicked in. I cut off contact for a while, but he would still send me messages saying he missed me and hoped I was doing okay. all of this happened while he was away training. eventually we became friendly enough to have convos here and there, where he would flirt and act as if we were still together, I never reciprocated, but it kept me hanging on..

he came home for a few days before he was due to move to japan where he would be stationed. I picked him up from the airport, because I was hopeful, for what I don’t know... he was cold and as the night went on it was clear he only wanted sex.. which was extremely distant.. after that first night he never tried to hang out with me again the entire time he was home, even though he’d repeatedly said how much he wanted to see me and how “I better still hang out with him”... then had the nerve to ask me to take him to the airport.. I said no. but, I wanted to say goodbye in person.. because I wanted closure, but he never responded and that was that.. (I later found out he was a jerk to his family too, not just me)

after a while he spoke to me as if nothing had happened and he still continues to talk to me now that he is in Japan. the convos are based around him and only him. never asking how I am or what I’ve been up. yet, it feels as if he doesn’t want to lose contact with me.. he messages me everyday and responds RIGHT away with long in depth messages. I'm friendly, but I am in no way catering to him at all anymore..

I know I just wrote a novel.. but, I am lost with what this all means and am hoping to get some insight as to what might be going through his head and other opinions about it all...


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry to hear you're going through this :( having your emotions played with and getting mixed signals sucks!!
    I think your doing the right thing by keeping as much distance from any contact as you can.
    To me, he seems selfish from what you've written. And perhaps only wants someone to "fill a void" in his life right now. Don't be that "void". It's a crappy feeling when you're intimate with someone, dating someone etc that doesn't even have enough courtesy to ask about YOU or YOUR day, or about YOUR feelings. Perhaps the distance is hard on him like he said, but he can't expect you to wait around for him, or talk to him when he's lonely, or be eager to pick him up when he eventually comes home. No one should wait around on hold for a guy.
    My advice would be to be friendly when you do speak, but leave it at a friendship level and go do your own thing, enjoy your own world and happiness. It's important :)

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  • He might still really like you, but he can't love or be with you right now. He's closing off his emotions, because he has to--in order not to miss you. He talks to you a lot, still because he doesn't want you to completely forget him. Maybe he doesn't want you to move on, because he isn't completely over you. He saw sex as a way to connect with you for that moment and then completely disconnect. This man is far away from you, do you want to wait for him to get out of the Marine Corp and come home for good/be with him? Or, do you want to move on? Don't let your future ruin your present... but ask yourself if you can see you two together in the future <3

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  • That's not fair to you. Ask him to stop contacting you. You can't move on otherwise

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