Continuation of last question?

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/relationships/q2019983-will-someone-give-me-their-advice-opinion-on-this-situation Continuation of this question.
he knows he promised he would stay with me as long as I was a good friend which I have been but he isn't going to stay because "things have changed" and he can't be happy If I'm in his life. And if I'm in love with him &love him as much as I say I do I'll let him go and be happy. We screamed and fought for hours upon end and I finally agreed. Because I knew he was going to leave anyway and I couldn't stop him so I let him go happily. We still spent the night together. He kissed me and held me and I cried and cried and he gave me oral sex for the first time. he says he loves me but in his "own way" he says its like this: he has feelings for me and thinks we have a connection that's differ at from anyone else's, but he isn't in love with me and hasn't felt like he is for more than a few days before. But he doesn't anymore. He cares for me so deeply that he wishes he could do anything to make me happy even though we haven't known each other for more than a few years and the thought of me being unhappy frusterates him. He doesn't really feel any spark when we kiss but he does it because he cares for me in a way so deeply that it's the only way he can express it. He thinks I'm beyond beautiful and wants me to realize my full potential.

Updates:
I've been in love with him for so long and he's sorry that what he did hurt me but dsnt regret doing it because it made him happy. I'm still angry at him and can't forgive that because he should have talked to me first but I love him and there's no way to describe the bond we have when we look in each other's eyes. We kissed all night and he gave me his sweater I left my panties there and the next day wrote him a long Rachel wrote to Ross in friends type letter. Guys, what's your opinion?
When he finally left and took me home, he kissed me one more time and I saw him shedding tears which I've never seen before and he said he'll miss me

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What Girls Said 2

  • My opinion may not sound very nice but I think you two do need to find different people. The man is with someone else, whether good or bad reasons, or if she's with someone else or not, and he cheated on her to give you oral sex, and you both will always cheat on future partners if you go seeking hugs and kisses with each other, or even just emotionally cheating because you keep someone else in your life you think you're in love with.

    I don't entirely think it's love either, I think two people with depression and perhaps going through hard and stressful times, found another person they could really relate to, someone who gets them, someone who isn't judging them for their problems because they have similar ones. I think you two did develop a strong bond, but I also think it's unhealthy.
    You seem to be highly dependent on him, and as you said, it's tearing his life down, but because he cares he's letting you. And I think on some level it's stopping you from living your life.

    Unless you two are going to 100% commit to each other and try properly, you two should part ways until you both have learned you don't need each other, you don't love each other that way anymore and you can move on with your lives.

    But it's an unfortunate situation that sucks, and you haven't done anything wrong, you are trying as you said, but I think you need to leave it, as hard as that will be. Be your own support system, or get a psychologist you can use to talk to until you help yourself and can depend on yourself, and then start seeing other people and then one day, you could probably reach out to him as a friend.
    But while you hold him back, you'll feel bad, while you two need each other, you'll never have healthy relationships with others or each other.

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    • I believe I do love him. But I know he doesn't love me. I'm willing to fully commit to him but he won't commit to me so as you said I know I have to move on. Besides, he's already made the descision that he won't see me anymore, so even if I wanted to stay with him, I couldn't. Thank you for taking the time to read and add an opinion. Nobody else will take the time to read it because it's so long

    • I enjoy long stories and giving opinions.
      But I suppose it's good he's made a decision, being the person who makes the decision can be hard, so sometimes it's a blessing when someone else does.
      I'm sure with time you can learn to depend on yourself just get out there. Get a healthy hobby that you can do whenever you're feeling down (go for a walk, swim, bike whatever), that's both good for yourself physically and mentally.

  • Sounds like you two love each other but didn't have the healthiest relationship. Why all the shouting, screaming and constant break ups? ;( I am sure you will always hold a special place in his heart. The relationship he is in now isn't likely to last long if it's one that's not able to be made public. He may come back to you before too long. Or he may need something less dramatic and emotionally draining. But there is always something to be said for familiarity. I hope both of you find what you need!

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    • Well no, he says he may never actually be with her he doesn't know. He says he shouldn't even be with her now and doesn't know how long it will last, but either way I'm taking a toll on him so he doesn't want me in his life. I can tell how sorry he is though. I've never seen him cry before

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