How do I break up with my girlfriend of 2 years without making it messy?

I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and I feel like its time to end the relationship. There's no real reason other than the fact that things have gotten stale. I care about her, I feel affection for her as a person, but I think things have run their course.

The problem is that she is invested into the relationship way more than I am. She wants to move in with me. She's also been making hints about getting hitched in the future, and moving together to a different state to start a life together. Her whole family thinks we're going to get married eventually, whenever I go over to her house her mom calls me 'son' and talks about grandkids and all that. Her sister even told me to take care of her because "you mean the world to her."

So this is making things harder. I keep stalling, thinking of a way to tell her, but things keep coming up and I put it off.

She's a really nice girl and really soft and emotional, so I want your input on the best way to do this without making things difficult for her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's never ever a easy way to break up with someone. It WILL hurt her regardless of what you do. She will be upset. However there is basic break up courtesy and that would be breaking up with her in person and doing it ASAP so as not to waste her time even more thinking you two are happy when you clearly aren't. You need to contact her immediately and tell her that you need to talk soon. Then you just need to go for it and tell her that it's not working out. Like I said, it is going to sting and you are likely going to feel like a douche BUT it's the right thing to do and that is one of the 2 outcome realities of any relationship so you aren't awful or terrible for doing it. That is why people are in relationships in the first place; to see if it works or not. Offer her any consolation and answer her questions (if she has) patiently and with kindness. Tell her you're there for her. Last but not least, do not under any circumstance give her false hope for the future.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could go down 2 roads:

    1. Tell her straight up what you have said here.
    2. Gradually distance yourself from her. Spend less and less time with her. Start seeing women on the side so that you "de-invest" from her. Once you have sufficiently "de-invested" proceed to tell her that it's time to break up.

    20 years of age is too soon to move in with someone in 2016. We don't live in the 1970s, co-habitation at such an early age can have devastating long term consequences in the long run. Additionally, this family sounds rather unhealthy and rather pushy for early commitment, which again, in 2016 is simply not feasible. They also sound like a "simple" family.

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    • Road 2 is bullshit advice.

    • Show All
    • @Ferretman21 Yet it's almost guaranteed your girlfriend is seeing boys on the side. Get with the times my friend. Before I found my girlfriend, I was sleeping with girls who had "chivalrous" boyfriends somewhat frequently.

    • @DearLife Of course you are always welcome to provide input on WHY it is bullshit advice.

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What Girls Said 3

  • then sooner is better! stringing her along will make it worse. tell her what you said, that you need to be honest because you respect her and be clear about the breakup.

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  • Things going stale in a relationship is a common occurrence, have you at least tried to spice things up?

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  • Women can appreciate honesty. If a future with her is something that you're not ready for, be honest. Trust me, the longer you wait, the more she will invest and the harder it will be on you. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off as hard as it may be.

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What Guys Said 2

  • dont. tell her how you feel about it. if she is really devoted to you then she ill respect your opinion

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  • The longer you wait the harder it will be, talk to her in person and explain everything

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