Boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn't want to try long distance, but is now making it sound like he wants me to wait for him?

My boyfriend broke up with me because he is moving away to finish school and a long distance relationship would be an unrealistic thing for us to successfully maintain due to the both of our busy schedules. I work full time and he is going to school full time while also working. I wanted to try a long distance relationship, but he didn’t think it would work out well because he is absolutely horrible with keeping in contact with people (we have actually had a few arguments about it in the past). Our split was amicable and we both have agreed to stay as friends. He and I continued to hang out platonically up until his move. He’s not the most vocal person with his feelings, so we never talked about our situation until the day before his departure. I wanted to gain closure so that we can truly begin a genuine friendship, but now I’m confused as to what he wants. When I told him that I still had some of his belongings, he told me to keep them because I “never know” which made me confused. We expressed that our feelings for each other are still strong and that it has hurt for the both of us, but we know it’s for the better because the timing is wrong. He also told me that if I find another person, they better be fucking amazing, but later on in the night told me multiple times that what we had “is not over” and now I do not know how I’m supposed to feel about this.


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What Girls Said 3

  • He wants his cake and eat it too. He's breaking up with you so he can have fun but is giving you false hope so you won't move on too fast in case he changes his mind.

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    • I'm going to have to disagree with this because he's far from being that type of person.

  • Sounds like he likes you and wants to string you along while he's away.

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  • He is torn between leaving you and staying.
    I'm in a long distance myself. It needs tons of commitment.

    Schadule visits
    Talking on the phone, Skype, msgs
    Requires tons of trust
    Keeping in touch a lot!

    Let's say it is not for everyone. If he says he can't you can't force him. As hard as it is you may need to agree that if you are still available when both of you are done to try to rebuild what you had. Otherwise it may start to fade soon.

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    • I've already more than accepted the circumstances and have been fine with us becoming friends, actually. I'm not the type of person who dwells over something I cannot control. Him saying what he said before he moved is what confused me because I was looking to gain closure so that we can truly begin a friendship, but he left me feeling like he is hoping to pick up where we left off if he returns, and now I don't know what to think of our situation.

    • Basically, I was looking to close the book, but he re-opened it. If that makes any sense.

    • He is as heart broken as you are. He was acting all tough but at the last min he softened.
      Time will heal your hearts.

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