How do I control these feelings after ending a relationship?

Hello all, I hope I can get some sound advice.

To break it down and not make it terribly long... I just got broken up with and it was near 6 years we were dating. We were planning our lives together but reality came and broke those plans... which may have been for the best... as now I realize the severity of the issues we had and that maybe we dated for 3 years too long..

Also, I dont have a lot of friends I actually hang out with... few friendships i had went cold over the time I had a girlfriend. my problem isn't only NOT thinking about my failed relationship, but on how to move forward. I even went to the extent of switching jobs, so that it would change my life up a bit from grave yarding to a place where i deal with more people so I won't be so depressed and lonely.

I didn't exactly ever had "good" self esteem, although I have had a few girlfriends that EVEN I considered to be "too pretty" for me... now that my last relationship ended, I am back to feeling really down and low about myself... especially because the relationship i was in created a lot of insecurities. So my issue is, while I would never turn away a possibility, I keep finding myself LOOKING at other women A LOT.

I am feeling DESPERATE for attention or for someone to just hang out with me... I keep feeling like I need to be cared about/loved/liked/wanted... and I keep bumping into girls I am already hanging out with... but I doubt that I am ready to be with anyone... and I keep hoping despite me remembering seconds later how low I feel about myself at this moment. how do I deal with this? how can I find ways to convince myself that I DONT need to be on the look-out for next mrs right? part of me always feels like i could be missing out on someone great if I dont TRY... but I also am tired of trying because I dont feel up to it on the confidence department... any tips?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Are you worried that if you do get involved with someone casually, you won't be able to keep it casual... but it will end up being a rebound because you just feel down and alone?

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    • not really. i just dont feel confident about my person. I actually met someone at my new job who im interested in quite a bit... but im not sure im at a good state in confidence to ask anyone out without making a fool of myself

  • This is all normal. Just keep busy and eventually these feelings will fade. Do things you enjoy and make you feel good about yourself.

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What Guys Said 0

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