Why do guys in relationships love the attention other females give them so much? Is he cheating on me?

Basically there's this brown girl, I don't know her in real life but she's not too attractive, but she's a friend's friend and she's the only girl in the group chat for this video game. I play the video game too but well the person who was doing the invitation is not close to me, so he invited his friends including my boyfriend and that girl. That girl is kind of trying to flirt with my boyfriend by sending him hearts and she keeps saying stuff like "You're always in my heart." she's said that to not just my boyfriend but a bunch of other guys in the chat.

I read this off his fb, that he gave to me himself. My boyfriend didn't even ask me if I wanted to play a game today, instead he asked her. He's playing with her only, without any of his guy friends. Better yet, she knows I'm in a relationship with him.

wtf? Why do guys who are in relationships love the attention other girls give them so much?
What should i do in this situation; am I just being insecure or is there something going on?

I really love him and he tells me that too. I feel like he's just bored with our relationship or something. He has done a lot to show me affection but he's also done to make me lose trust in him..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From life experience I can tell you this, 1. people tend to not notice who is paying attention to them when they are single 2. When i've been single for a while I get rusty in the lady department and when I do get back it again I almost feel like I was out of the gym for a while then you start working out again and you notice every muscle you built up and every pound you've lost. I get used to picking up on females cues and all that jazz again 3. If you about to be off the market or off it already those people who like you will obviously want to try to get you back 4. Another reason peoples interest ramps up in you when you are taken is because your partner is giving the world the seal of approval that you are in fact datable.

    I can give a funny story about this, so I dated this girl a year ago, we split then started talking again and things look like we'll date again. Around this time I'm taking summer classes in college, I'm a military veteran and my college has a veterans center so me and the other vets hang out there. I made some new friends one being a girl and about 3 weeks of knowing her, I told her about who I'm seeing, she tells me "I got a rash on my boobs from wearing a sports bra" and sends a side boob pic to me...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really sorry but I wouldn't stand for that treatment from him. If he isn't getting something he needs from you, then he needs to communicate that to you and allow you a chance to help fix the situation. A relationship can't be fixed of one party is seeking the answers from outside of the relationship.

    To me it seems really disrespectful of him to entertain her flirting and need for attention when it's obvious she likes him. He's in a relationship and shouldn't be doing that. How would he feel if the situation was reversed and you were the one entertaining a guy who liked you? I'm sure he would be uncomfortable with that.

    I say you should have a serious sit down talk with him. If he is pulling away, that could be a sign he is not interested in continuing on.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • "Why do guys who are in relationships love the attention other girls give them so much?"

    Feeds our ego. That said, if he's flirting with this girl and kind of encouraging it, I think he needs to modify his behavior.

    It's like why do married women wear cosmetics?

    Guys still like attention from the opposite sex, even when we're not even that interested in the girl and have a girl of our own.

    It reminds us that we're still desirable among the opposite sex. It's not easy to know if we still have it when we have a long-term girlfriend, since she'll always be into us no matter what and she'll always treat us like we're #1. But only way to know for sure if you've still got it is if other women are giving you lots of attention.

    Anyway, that girl sounds a bit obnoxious. I hate it when guys and girls overstep the boundaries of those in relationships.

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  • If he's seeking the attention of another girl.. then either something is missing. He doesn't feel like he's getting that "desired" feeling from you. Or he doesn't care about you and your feelings and is just selfish and only cares about his own feelings.

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  • Same reason women like it. People like to feel wanted. Do you show him lots of attention and let him know how much you love him and mean to him?

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  • To answer your topic-question: For the same reason girls like it. Its pleasing ones ego.

    And to your specific case: Confront him about it and communicate your concerns and feelings about it.

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  • girl you gotta mark your territory if other women come to threaten your position, of course your boyfriend should not be persuaded by other girls too.

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  • Seems like you have it all figured out since you made such a bold statement doesn't seem like you actually want our advice.

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  • guys and girls get a dopamine hit when they're hit on / shown new affection. It's instinctive. He could hide it but it would still be there. it's the same trigger you get from gambling, scoring a goal, winning a prize etc and it's addictive. Don't feel insecure, just do stuff to trigger it in him and make sure he associates the "buzz" with you.

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  • it's not about cheating or you even.. He just likes to know he's still attractive to girls with an unbiased opinion it's more that he's insecure about himself than anything

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  • ( term )

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  • You are overreacting 100%.
    He just likes playing a game and no offense she plays it better then you so he picked her. But this is nothing to worry about since he picked you for his life. Her only for a game

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  • The real question is why are girls more interested in you when your in a relationship than when your not.

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  • Sounds a bit like your jumping to conclusions... But if you think something is going on, confront them... Both

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  • I think you should talk to him about it.

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  • Why not, why have one women attention when you can have multiple. Women are so stuffed.

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  • Now you girls ask dumb questions like this when you don't see the damage feminism has done? Men are going to screw you women just like you screwed us

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  • Uhm why do girls like attention from single guys, but then act like they don't? Yes he is. Most girls are usually on the market for about 2 days before they got a new guy once they think that they're being disrespected.

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  • Give me one good reason why men need to be with one particular women all the time. Those days are gone

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  • Because we don't get that attention when we're single

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What Girls Said 5

  • As a former hardcore gamer, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Gamer boys and girls always flirt but it typically doesn't go anywhere. It's just part of the territory. Gamer boys are always going to favor playing with their crew and gamer girls are always going to flirt it up. We don't care whose friends with who or whose dating or even married. A little flirtation is commonplace in the virtual world. I gave guys pet names and love/kiss emotes all day long with no intention of trying to hook up with them but they loved the attention from me anyway. It's natural. You're overthinking things.

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  • I think you should sit down with him and talk about it. If I was in a relationship I would want to have one where I could trust the other person to tell me when they have worries or feel like something else is going on and that they could trust me too.

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  • Might just get on with her as a person. Doesn't have to be about gender

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  • All the scum bags in the comments section. xD

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  • Egos! Tell him that you like to play! Or start your own game with someone else.

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