I am struggling to do nothing and walk away?

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have always been really close - well i thought we were. We was looking at houses and put an offer down. He had abit of stress at work (which he wasn't discussing) and reflecting now he doesn't handle pressure very well which i think provoked lots of this. Whenever he got a job update he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore, as he was having job security issues. After a intense phone call and him saying he didn't know how he felt about me i said we should probably break up but i didn't want to and he just didn't say anything. I was left in limbo and heartbroken that he wouldn't fight for us. I told himto let me know if he wants to chat as i didn't feel it was needed i just think he needed space.
I tried to contact him all week which i regret not giving him space maybe and being too intense, but he is a believer in not getting back with an ex and always feels insecure as a couple so i need him to know how much i care. I have tried to get him to reach out to me for 10 days now to no response. It has broken my heart and i have cried and cried. I felt i didn't get any closure. He would have found his final job update last Friday but he didn't reach out over the weekend which surprised me - but also made me think "oh great, his walking away". I have really really tried and gone silent on a few days, haven't had one response, and now deleted his number permanently and have no way of getting it back. I wasn't ready to break up i just felt he was pushing me too it, too scared maybe. We was so close to planning our future and he was saying all these things to me which is why i felt he needed space. As he isn't one to contact an ex again it makes me feel sick after five years i won't be hearing from him again. What do i do? He isn't a talker that is the problem. I know i need to give up now. He has a friend who will be feeding into his ear its good to split as his always jealous and wants his mate back too.


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What Guys Said 1

  • My opinion will be harsh! but please bear with me! Your first error was to ask for a break up when you were confused! NEVER DO THESE THINGS WHEN CONFUSED! You have a job yourself and since the guy is clearly insecure about he being not good enough for you, you should not have made things bad for him! I might seem sexist for stating that but let me tell you why I am not! You understand this guys problems his downsides yet you want to be with him and that makes you understand that he like everyone is not perfect yet you want to be with him! As a guy I just will state this that when I am in trouble with jobs and stuff and at that moment my girlfriend asks to break up with me and then instead of giving me space who would keep calling me gives me every reason to get very repulsed her! And to top it all a jealous friend would make things worse! Am sorry! You seem to be a nice person but you messed up big time! But let me tell you this! If he really likes you and cares for you! He will come back! Maybe a month, maybe a day or week! If he believed in you he will! But it is upto you if you wait or move on! But if you wait for him! Please don't make such a mistake ever ever again! I really pity the guy to be honest ! I went through a similar phase and it was one of the most horrible time of my life! I apologize for the rudeness!

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    • That's fine his parents are all involved now. His just in his man cave where he goes off with his jealous friend and won't talk to anyone else. If someone tells you they don't love you then what are you supposed to do? Wait to get dumped? X

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    • Yah of course I am love him and I am worried about him. xx

    • Do you care for him enough to go through the trouble? Let me tell you something, I was in a very bad condition for months and my girlfriend left me , she just did not care and left. But later after months I got ok with myself she returned asking me how I was and trying to sympathise that she wasn't there for me when I needed her. Well, I am not a rude person so I ignored her. But to be honest a guy when in such a conflict needs someone who can show him the right path, not someone who will pollute his mind like his jealous friend. If you love him then buckle up and help him out, he is irrational now and a mess , help him after thigs settle down for him, you can talk about things but for now, let the guy heal first. I might sound really one-sided but I went through a certain phase and I did not develop hate for my ex. I developed apathy. The opposite of love is not hate. It is apathy. Hate is love gone mad. Apathy is dangerous. He will never return to you if you leave him like that.

What Girls Said 2

  • Just give it time and wait fr some contact from him. If you don't hear know he was ready to breakup and you made it easy. Maybe next time you'll learn to not suggest breaking up unless you really mean it.

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    • Well id never suggested it before. At the time it was a very intense phone call about how he didn't know how he felt and i felt he needed space and stuff. I did ask him if he was trying to get me to break up with him and he said no. However he wouldn't say any suggestions either and anything i did suggest he just said it wouldn't work. I needed some motivation from him, because at the time we was offering on a house and i didn't want a situation where we buy a house as he felt we had to plod along then im stuck paying for a house on my own should it all not work out. I needed him to show he wanted us to work and i just stopped getting those vibes from him. I just know he won't reach out anymore, i regret saying it so much at the time it just seemed the only logical thing to say. I was hoping he would say no but he literally said nothing. Breaks my heart that he believes in never getting back with an ex. Although at the same time he has never been with someone for five years either.

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    • Certainly trying...

    • Good luck. ☮💟😊

  • Just let him go, I'm going through a familiar problem

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