Getting over a narcissist?

How does one get over have been with a narcissist and have a normal loving relationship after? Dating just seem daunting now.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think better to stop making dating a goal. Make it about building up friends (lots of them ideally) and having fun. That should help you feel like a normal girl again and start dispelling some of those fears, all while having a blast with people. Then at some point you'll be ready to date some of these people.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Time! Lots of time and patience:(
    Getting over a narcissist is hard because you've been on an emotional roller coaster for however long and it's effected you in major ways. Choosing to get over one is your first step, so you're on the right track! Keeping up NC is important, as they are so slick in sneaking back into our lives just to cause more chaos. You need to take this time not only to get over him but to work on you. You've probably been destroyed in some form from this experience and it's great to read up on them AND you and why you feel everything you do and most importantly, why you stayed. This will help you avoid a similar situation in the future and know when to recognize those red flags. Join supper groups, there is a few great ones out there online, journal your feelings. One thing I learned from my own experience is that no one will actually understand all you're feeling unless they've dealt with this themselves. It's a very hard situation to get out of, it makes you feel crazy and totally takes over you. With that said, you will get there!!! It may never feel like it but you will! Look after the most important person here, which is YOU and remember that none of this was about you. xx

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    • Yeah no one really seems to understand. They seem to blame me and think it is my fault. He always seems to have a way of sneaking back. I had maintained no contact for months then he managed to sneak back in and came crying to me saying he wanted me back. I told him I didn't want to see or speak to him but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Of course everything just ended up the same with him doing his value and discard.

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    • That's some creepy stuff lol!! I've spent months researching so many things regarding the behavior I saw, and this was the main one right here!! I even checked out BPD which had some similar traits as well.
      Did you ever go back and forth in your mind wondering what the heck this guy is? I use to be obsessed with figuring it out and it was total crazy making! In my head, I'd be like nah has just an asshole, no he's emotionally unavailable, no he's definitely this or that... in reality though, no normal person acts this way so you know in the back of your head what's really going on. I use to have to see mine a few times a week in a personal setting, up until this week and he would always act normal and friendly in person but he'd shut me out via text. I gave up initiating contact because I felt like I was going insane!

    • Yeah I did. It wasn't till his parents told me that he was diagnosed as a narcissist and we went to counseling together that I found out. They told me he was on the sociopath spectrum. Joy! He cried for days last time during his Hoover so I thought I had him all wrong and that he did have empathy and remorse. He doesn't he can fake them to get what he wants. He was sorry he was losing his source and I was moving away that's all. He had even been committed to a mental institution at one point.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've read of a few of this lady's posts regarding this ladywithatruck.com/.../ this s not the exact article but she does right a lot about it. I think it could help x

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