I found out my father is cheating on my mother, what should I do?

Recently, I found out my father is seeing another women. I had seen his phone ring, I picked it up, and after talking I saw a little Facebook messenger from a woman. Being snoopy, I opened it and started reading and was horrified to read their messages.

The women is clearly lonely, bombarding my father with messages. Furthermore, I found messages about my dad trying to steal money from my hard working mother (and the woman telling him to give her money) and messages that were sexual and talking about their time together.

I love my mother and she has always told me never to be any mans so called "b*tch" but my father treats her horribly, and seeing this, it takes the bait.

Should I tell my mother? She is the one who get money and is well off but I don't want to ruin a (already broken) marriage, I don't want my brother to grow up without a father, and I don't want to be the one everyone blames.

I hate my father; he has been a horrid sack of sh*t my whole life so confronting him is not an option as he will say what he has always said; "No one will ever believe you because you are liar."

At least now I have proof to show.

So what should I do? Keep quiet or tell my mother. If I leave, I will not be there to see the aftermath as I am joining the Army.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The truth will always be the truth and it is ugly. Since you have credible evidence and is aware of the affair you father is having with another woman I think it would be best to not with hold what you already knew. Because what if your mother found out that you knew about it long before she did and then what if she blames you or puts the blame on you for not telling her right away about the affair between your father and that other woman?

    Obviously there's no point of confronting your dad, but it will also be bad if your dad realize it was you that brought the credible evidence to your mother's attention and blew the whistle on him. Let's just hope he won't find out and know that it was you that provided the credible evidence although I think he'd eventually figure that part out for himself.

    It's a really sticky situation you have here, a broken and unhappy marriage between your parents and then you also have a younger brother to look after and you are concerned that if he grew up without a father then the fault would be on you. I think it really comes down to this as the bottom line: if your father would man the fuck up and admit what he did was wrong and that he would stop what he is doing and actually make the effort to communicate better and work together with your mother on whatever the fuck he is unhappy with in his current marriage, but from what you told me I know he's not that kind of person that would come clean and admit he is at fault. Because I really don't know what the fuck it is going on with with your dad that is causing him to be so dissatisfied with his marriage and seek extramarital affairs with somebody else. Is it because your parents aren't having enough sex on a frequent basis or what? I really don't know.

    Then there's the other half of the situation. Would your mother be open minded enough to be forgiving should your dad be legit about making up in the best way that he possibly could to fix their current broken relationship and marriage that they have with each other? If she is able to give him a second chance and the both of them actually will work together and move forward together then there is still hope. But you cannot control the outcome, both of your parents must be willing to work together and move forward as what had already happened can not be changed.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been in the same situation as you and i told my mom and showed her the proof.. And I don't regret it. Although my mom is a house wife so she is helpless.. but i think u should clearly tell your mom.. I'm talking from my experience.. it hurt a lot.. Infact it hurt like hell.. But she can move on now.. and she thanked me and said I'm glad u didn't cover up the truth

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    • And i told her even though i love my dad a lot.. U have all the more reason to tell cuz u hate ur dad and he is dick... Trust me these kind of relationship get them nowhere

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • You probably should have forwarded them to your phone and then deleted the forwardings from his phone so he would not know that you did it. That way you would have proof for your mother. But maybe you can still get his phone when he is not aware to show your mom. In any case, tell her!!!

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  • I would tell your dad privately and give him one chance to end it all. But if he does not, then you should tell your mother. People are going to say you should not get involved, but I disagree. We have a duty to look out for our parents at least to an extent, so when one of them deviates so far out of line we should inform the other.

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    • My dad is abusive mentally and I am scared of him. He used to abuse me as a child and I rather not go through that again.

    • In that case, it would probably just be best if you told your mother or perhaps a minister if you are religious, one who can talk to your dad privately.

    • He is cheating on her mother, treats her mother abusively, and abused the asker too. No reason to give him any more chances. Out him and let her mother deal with it.

  • Tell your mum asap, collect some evidence and when your father wouln't be around for few hours show her the evidence and tell her what's happening. Your mum deserves to know.

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  • tell your mom

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  • No father is better than a bad one, I've been through something similar. Tell her, she deserves to know the truth

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  • Break his computer so he can stop cheating on Facebook

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  • do nothing! its his life.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Tbh I think its better to have your brother grow up without a father than a father like him. If he treats you're mother like shit then u should definitely go tell you're mom about the messages. And how can u be the one everyone blames? You're mom deserves to know that her husband is sleeping g with another woman don't u think. Think about it won't u want to find out if you're husband was sleeping with some other woman. And how would u feel if your daughter kept that from you. Please go tell your mother.

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  • Your brother already doesn't have a dad, since your dad mistreats mom. Of course, show your mom his phone.

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  • You have to understand this will rip your family apart. Thatsf the first thing you need to accept, if you think thats too much to bare, remember the fact that when your mother finds out that you knew, its going to ruin ur relationship. In my opinion, getting rid of the cheating bastard is probably best.

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  • Tell your mom. She and both you and your brother deserve better

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  • Kick hiss ass urself

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