Relationship ended (I think) strangely, how would you deal with it?

A girl I've been dating for a few months has essentially ended things with me. We had some great times together the first month and were together quite a bit. After that though contact was less frequent and when I try to get together with her she's usually busy. As of now she just hasn't even responded to my last text. All these signs kinda point to break up but she hasn't officially said she wants to, she's just stopped contacting me. This kinda thing is hard to deal with as it is, but what has me feeling so many conflicting emotions is that absolutely nothing went wrong. The last time I saw her she kissed me good bye and everything seemed normal, there was no fight or disagreement. It was my first relationship and though I felt confused at times I honestly can't think of anything I did that would have upset her, but she won't contact me so I have no way of talking to her about it. This has been very hard for me to move on from. The fact that it was my first relationship is probably a big part of that, but also the fact that I was given no reason for why its over or if its over. I guess my question is has anyone else had a relationship that was going great just end all of a sudden because the other person just stopped making contact? If so, how did you deal with it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Man that really sucks, I'm especially sorry your first relationship was with such an immature human.
    Sure, maybe she has reasons, maybe someone died in the family!, but if you're mature enough to be involved with someone else, then you can tell them "look such and such happened, I need space". And sure granted you two were relatively new, it's still someone you started seeing.

    I can't really say much I guess, for me, you give it a suitable amount of time of no contact from her, and you doing all you can to try and contact her - calling every now and then, texts every so often, eventually getting less and less and finally when it's been long enough you feel you could move on and it not be "cheating", you send a message saying how you see yourself as single again, you're moving on etc.

    I'd deal with it by telling myself it wasn't my fault. Some people just do crap things, aren't mature, have no respect for others etc. And even though you can visibly see nothing wrong with the relationship, that could be what was wrong for her! Some people LOOK for bad things, and she could've seen it as "too perfect" and the issues in her mind are telling her "oh have to leave". Whatever. So it's not your fault, you're doing what you can, said yourself you don't want to be the creepy stalker dude, and that's also mature of you. Just, give it the time, while still making the effort for a little while until you won't feel guilty to deem yourself "single" again.

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    • Thank you for your reply. You're right what she is doing is immature and I really want to be mad at her but the thing is she was my first relationship, first kiss etc. and I've been constantly thinking about her these last few weeks that she hasn't contacted me just naively thinking she'll text me or something. Its just hard to be angry because I really like her and want to be with her yet I know what she is doing is wrong and really hurts me, I just don't know what to think. I honestly thought she was one of the nicest girls i had ever met and never thought she would do anything like that to me, and that makes it hurt more. Also if something is going on I feel like we were at a point she could have felt comfortable telling me. We were only dating a short time but I had got to know her over the previous 4-5 months, its not as if we were "strangers" in a sense. I may try your advice of contacting her a couple more times, I last texted her about a week ago and just asked if everything

    • Was alright with no response. How often would you recommend trying her and what would you say? Its just with no contact for so long I feel like it may be almost awkward and I don't want that. I just want an explanation of why she hasn't contacted me and I want to know if she's done with the relationship or not. I'm just worried I'll make her mad and have no shot of being with her again because I still really like her and also because I still like her I'm kinda scared to talk to her because I'm afraid of what the answer may be. I just want it to be as painless as possible and right now I'm just really confused. Thanks again for adding your opinion.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that something must have been personal and private and that is really important that had came up in her life and needs or demands her full attention right now, and it might be that whatever has happened might be bad or really worse and she don't want you to to know about it, asking about it or involved you in any way it. Just my guesses, not saying it absolutely is what I think it might be.

    Right now there is nothing more you can do, if she is not responding to any of your contact attempts. From here on out, it is beyond your control, as something must have changed and something must have happened. Maybe she changed her mind about you, as that could also happen and again that's also beyond your control, it was her decision and sometimes when people decide to break up they won't even be open and honest and come forward and break up with you clearly face to face and would rather just go complete radio silence.

    Also, any idea if it was her first relationship as well?

    The Only thing left is to not dwell on it, and become obsessed and unhappy about what has happened, as these kind of things can and does happen and I'm sure you aren't the only or first person that had this kind of situation happened to before.

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    • You could be right, but I still feel if something came up she'd at least tell me something's up. Not necessarily what it is if its private but at least tell me that she doesn't want to date right now. I know it'd be a hard conversation to have but it would be easier to move on. I've realized the most likely scenario here is that she changed her mind about me, but the things is everything was normal the last time we were together, so I've been constantly racking by brain to try to think of something I may have done to change her mind. Its just so strange because we went from having a good time that day to she never contacted me again unless I texted and then apparently she just isn't responding now. Also, no this was not her first relationship. She told me how her last one ended but I got the sense there have been others too just from stuff she mentioned briefly.

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    • Pretty much. Why hold on to someone, when you know you must let them go?

      Just do it little bit at a time despite the pain and unhappy feelings.

      Clear explanations and having closure aren't always going to happen, just like in various tragedies that we see happen on the news frequently.

      Sometimes it is caused by human error and choices, other times there are situations where no one really knows for certain what exactly caused the tragedy in the first place.

      Things like that happen completely unexpectedly, bad things inevitably and randomly happens.

      But as I've said before what has already happened has happened, if you two were really meant to be she would have choose to contact you at some point by now. But silent rejection also happens, it could be that she rather not talk about it at all if she thought rejecting you in person would hurt you and instead she just chose completely disconnect from you. Not saying it absolutely is, but that it could or might be the explanation.

    • You're right, I just need some time to move on. Maybe find someone else eventually will help too I don't know. Its just so hard to deal with because I liked her so much and its not how I wanted my first relationship to go. I guess the good news is my future relationships can only get better from here (I hope).

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What Girls Said 3

  • Try and meet her by going to places that she goes often and ask her straight forward.

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    • I've thought about that but I also don't want to be stalker like either. I really like her but I mean if she doesn't want to be with me I guess I'll get over it eventually. Everything was so amazing when I was with her though, so right now I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You think it wouldn't be out of line to try to go out of my way to run into her?

    • It's not stalking, you just happen to know what places she hangs out at, you deserve an explanation.

  • I don't know my relationship ended eyesterday, It was the worst and saddest day of my life😭😭😭😭😭

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    • Sorry to hear that, I hope things get better for you.

    • It's fine he was treating everyone like shit anyways

  • Maybe you didn't talk to her enough

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    • See I thought about that but the thing is we were together at least 3 times a week and then all of a sudden she never texted me to make plans it was just me texting her. So if anything she's really the one not talking enough because I've made attempts but I feel I can't just keep texting her if it doesn't turn into any plans. It got to the point where I felt like maybe I was bothering her and so I kinda put the ball in her court and told her to let me know when she was available and she never did. Its just very sad for me to be trying and not even get a response, I thought everything was going great and I like her a lot but now I feel like she just doesn't care and its even more frustrating because I don't know why and I can't find out.

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    • I've tried to think of ways to do that. We don't really have any mutual friends that we both talk to frequently and we weren't really together long enough for me to get to know her good friends besides a basic introduction, so I don't know that they'd listen to me if I talk to them and I don't really have a way to contact them either. I don't want to be stalker like but I've thought about trying to "happen to run into her" by making a point to be somewhere she may be so I can talk to her. I don't know if this would be crossing a line though and I'm kinda scared to confront her because I don't want to make her angry if there's a chance we can still be together so I'm very conflicted now to say the least.

    • You could probably do that. I mean who's to say where people are "coincidentally" at one time. Maybe just do that since you really have no other way of getting ahold of her. I'm sure it'll be fine.

What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly man there could be a number of instances hard to guess. I had a girl decide to leaver her past behind and move on, tried being supportive of her changes only to hear please do not contact me and blocked with no explanation given

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