Husband won't let me meet his parents; should I get a divorce?

I won't get into much details as why we got married when we did, but it was 4 years ago, and we kept if a secret from out families. We had dated for 1.5 years before that, and all I heard from my then boyfriend was that his parents were not keen on marriage, due to two of their other sons' marriages ending up in divorce and them being catholic. We talked about me meeting them before we got married, but it fell appart every time.

i thought that in 6 mos or a year's time, we'de be out in the open, I would have met his parents, and life would be beautiful. We are now 4 years later, and we are on the same spot, in facr I think we are taking steps backwards. My husband keeps coming up with projects, renovations at his parents' home, ventures with his brothers, and it never seems to be a good time for us. We are not living together, not in the way that a married couple should, I have an apartment and he basically sleeps over sometimes. So we are basically dating, I guess we are not even doing that, because we are barely seeing or spending time with each other.

He keeps telling me that he will make things right, he will tell his parents, and that we will have a great future. I don't believe this anymore. Now his father's health is deteriorating, and may very well die. Since I have never met them, I am not even able to call his mother and offer her my support. I mean, I am a good person, I want to be able to see how my father in law is doing. Obviously they know we are together (just not that we are married), except they don't seem to be in a rush to meet me. I have only been with their son for 6 years.

I told my husband that I would drive up to his parents home and for him to let his mom know. He told me that if I did that, there would be repercussions. What? Repercussions for me? What have I done wrong? I am so tired of this, I think I am going to go ahead and leave him. I feel as if that is my only choice at this point.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Tbh. Rhis sucks. I don't know what the deal is, but it's crazy. Get in your car. Go up to his parents home offer your support, and tell them that you are married. You have nothing to lose here.

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    • I did drive up there, 2 hours away. They have a very long driveway. My husband and his brother were not there. I told my husband I was going, he told me not to. I sat in my car and cried. I have never met his parents. I did not have the courage to pull in the driveway, it would have felt like I was tresspassing.

    • You are at least in name, his wife. You're visiting, not trespassing. TBH, Going there may end your marriage, but there is a SMALL chance it could save it.

What Girls Said 1

  • This is really weird. I'm going to look at things different and say maube he thinks his family is dysfunctional... could be ashamed of you, or married already... hopefully he's not gay or anything... somethings definitely not right...

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