Saw my ex on a dating site... Feeling bad about myself?

So my ex and I broke up about 5ish months ago because he was about to go back to school to become a flight medic and his schedule was gonna be insane. Two clinicals a week, while working 3 - 5 12 hour shifts, class days and studying. We were arguing a lot about it and he finally said he just didn't have time to be dating and it wasn't even a thought in his mind. I even saw a Facebook message he had sent to one of his guy friends saying that we'd broke up because he had too much on his plate, so obviously it was somewhat true. However, this morning I woke up and saw he had viewed my dating profile. Which I'm wondering if he wanted me to see he was on there because he didn't have to click on it to see it was me. My picture is clearly me and my first name is in my username. Now I feel like he lied and we broke up because of me. I feel like I must've not been good enough. I tried to be a great girlfriend and he told me I was frequently. He had said he wouldn't be wanting to date for a long, long time because he wouldn't have time and it wasn't something that even interested him. Yet 5/6 months later, he's on a dating site. And he was always bluntly honest during our relationship which is why I'm extra confused.
I just stopped seeing a guy who I thought was gonna end up being a boyfriend and who I really liked because we realized we were too different so I'm also feeling vulnerable because of that. So why will he have time for someone new but didn't for me?

Updates:
Also, the last time we spoke was a little over a month ago and even then he said "well we both know I'm not gonna be dating"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • People usually jsut use tinder to bang OP lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Look as much as it sucks and hurts; some people aren't meant to be together. He likely just wasn't feeling it and in his heart didn't feel you were the one. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you as a person. It means the relationship wasn't meant to be and that you were destined with be with someone else who will make you 100x times happier. Relationships are a relationship for a reason ; you test to see if the spark is there or not. That is the risk you take when you enter a relationship. BUT when you meet the right guy it will be so worth it and worth the tears. Regardless of his reasons, his actions speak louder than words and if he is on a dating site he must have lied to you one way or another maybe to spare your feelings and to not sound harsh (which is still a coward thing to do ) but either way you are worth more and shouldn't stop trying to find your match (which you will).

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What Guys Said 4

  • Listen, EMS is some hard shit. I will tell you that because I work in that line of work. I work 90 hours a week sometimes.

    This line of work is a relationship (and a marriage) ender. But he deals with a lot of shit already that accompanies the job. Anyone who works in EMS or fire really needs a damn good supportive gf/spouse. It takes its toll on families and the EMT/Paramedic

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    • I know and I was really supportive. But we were also dealing with some unusual circumstances at the time and ending up living together too soon and I think it ultimately played a part in our breakup. But still, he literally promised that it was because of me and I had been a great girlfriend, just that he didn't have time and wasn't in the mindset for a relationship.
      Even told me that a little over a month ago, so I just feel like it must've been about me and it makes me feel bad

    • That it wasn't because of me*

  • Because someone new might be worth his time. Obviously.

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  • What did he say when you asked him about him having a dating profile?

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  • 5 months and you saw him and feel shit. That means you're on it so you're not allowed to feel shit.

    And I assure you he was on it the next day, you just didn't see his profile.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Don't feel bad about yourself, he should have told you the truth on why he wanted to break up after all you aren't a mind reader. Yeah someone can change their mind in 5 months, but unless he is done w/school in those 5 months, he would still be "too busy" for a relationship. More then likely he just wasn't invested as much in you anymore (not something anyone can change), but he missed having someone. Don't beat yourself up over this.

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    • Just a little over a month ago, one of the last times we spoke, he still was saying it wasn't because of me and just wasn't in the mindset for a relationship. So it just makes me feel it must've been me and now I feel kinda bad.
      Plus, I had been getting somewhat serious with a new guy and we had both agreed we wanted to start a relationship and then a couple days ago, we kinda decided we were too different. He said I was too outgoing for him? Anyway so I think I'm just feeling kinda like there's something wrong with me

    • Your ex and the other guy just weren't compatible w/you. Its better to be alone for the time being then develop feelings for someone that you would not be compatible w/. Your ex prob wanted the perks of the relationship w/out the commitment from his end.

  • It seems like he regrets it, but remember he tossed you out so fast. You should have a guy that'll stick by you through thick and thin. You guys didn't HAVE to go out on 'dates' you could of been together understanding your time together was limited. This guy gave you a middle finger, get out kind of thing. And honestly going over your dating profile is immature and absurd. He said bye bye so he has no right snooping around or being upset if you're with someone else. Just honestly ask yourself if it's worth persuing.

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  • Wow that's mind boggling. Maybe he misses you and regrets what he did so he's doing that to get your attention. Because like you said the picture was obviously you and your username is your first name... maybe he misses you

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  • Maybe he's trying to get you off his mind with someone else.. Once in a while when he can & has time so he doesn't think about you? Possibility

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  • A lot can change in 5 months.
    Maybe he is thinking of dating again.

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    • Yeah but see he had told me when we broke up, that he wouldn't be wanting to date until he was done with his medic school stuff which was gonna take at least a year and doesn't even start until November

    • Who knows it could be just for sex.
      You should move on.

  • He sounds like I dick I would never treat you like that

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  • It's a dating site, guys aren't serious on there. He's still not looking for a long term commited relationship, just female company, so not exactly lying.

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