How to Ask for a second chance after a breakup?

We were together for 4 years. I am 52 he is 38. We had our ups and downs but we had an amazing relationship too. I just really never had another plan, didn't think I needed one honestly. We were good together and had been through a lot and supported each other too. But we recently went through a horrible wrongful eviction that I was doing all the fighting and research for. We were told we would prevail but we did not. The 5 days we and to move was stressful and we had no place to move into. He was storing things at his moms to save storage space we rented. Then I noticed he was setting up his old room not just moving boxes. He said he thought he would stay there and I could too if I wanted. If I wanted? The animals we had would not have lived there well with his moms and he knew that. I never imagined we wouldn't go somewhere together until we found a place. And on our last day to move, he said he thought we should take time apart. I was in total shock. So without notice, I lost by boyfriend, had no home, was paying to stay at a hotel, deal with the last details of moving, and looking for a place to fund first, last security all by myself where I thought we would do this together. I was a mess. He never looked back.. He went to his moms, pays no rent, has his laundry and meals and no responsiblitlies and next day is out bar hopping and life goes on. I didn't know this guy. And a month later I have still no explanation. No there is no one else. I have asked him for a chance to get back together after giving him his space... and he says I've moved on. I am still in love with him. I can't move on. Its like when he looks at me he can't remember all the things we shared. I want to reach him somehow. So I am not looking for the "move on, focus on yourself advice". I dont know how guys do break ups but im at a loss. I took amazing care of this guy, he is the love of my life. Seems if I approach the second chance topic he gets farther away. What do I do next?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm in the same boat as you and it sucks. Found the perfect girl who I treated amazingly. Wanted to marry her. We loved each other so much and she just stopped. It's been two years I've wanted her back because I still love her so much. But she won't even talk to me.

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    • Im sorry. I guess the hardest part is not knowing why. How long has it been since you have been apart?

    • It's been almost two years. And yeah not knowing why is definitely the worst part

  • It does seem he had nursed the thought of quitting the relation for a long while, and was just waiting for the opportunity to execute it.

    Right now any attempt to save your relation would only push him further from you, and harden his resolve. Your slim but best chance to save your relationship is to pause communication between him and you for 4 weeks or so. Then see if he has changed his mind.

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