He said not sure how he's feeling about everything right now. Could it be about us?

So me and my ex boyfriend still talk. I do still have feelings for him and I am not sure about whats going on with him. He made first initaiative after bu to talk and we did have sex a few times. Sometimes the way he talked seemed as though it was just for sex other times it didn't and when i saw him it was like we never seperated. it was passionate and loving. I always stay the night and he cuddles with me, grabs me close and kisses me. Its amazing. Tonight i asked if he wanted to stop by tonight or tomorrow because i have the house to myself and thought we could hang or watch a movie or soemthing. he said he didn't know about that lol. I asked why and he just said he has a lot going on and he's not sure how he's feeling about everything. Could he be having thoughts about me and him still having sex or feelings or what? yes I do still love him and yes I want a comitment. This could totally be about us or it couldnt. I like to think the happy thoughts


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What Guys Said 1

  • Whats going on between you two could definitely be a factor. Its tough not being with someone but acting as if you are. For both yourself and him its probably very emotionally draining. Sometimes people say ex's are ex's for a reason and sometimes ex's can successfully get back together. However you should tell him how you feel and what your thoughts are about the two of you. The whole back and forth is really hard to deal with for both and the quicker you can decide on one or the other, the better.

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    • So true!! Never thought about it that way. It still is very much hard seeing him and still having feelings for him. I have good and bad days, as does anyone else going through this stuff. I will tell him how I feel, but I think mb he knows or is starting to either feel guilty with whats going on or the feelings are still there. Which I hope the feelings lol. Part of the reason he broke up with me was bc of stress and stuff from not having a job. He closed off for a good month but then after that said he felt like we were not growing closer and was not feeling what he thought he should. I find weird bc b4 this all happened he was very loving and was not afraid to express just how much he cared for me.

    • I went through something similar and there were times when I felt like I still really had feelings and then there were times when I felt like there was nothing there any more and that obviously leads to the back and forth stuff. I'm sure he does feel bad for pulling you one way and then pulling you the opposite way soon after and so on. And after you tell him what you're thinking, if that still has no effect then i'd say give an ultimatum. Because he'll either want to be with you or he won't and if you have to force him to decide thats okay, because it'll definitely save everyone a lot of pain in the long run.

    • Thanks!! Yup when he broke up with me and said that stuff I was heartbroken. Gave him that time and this is where I am at now. Still seeing him and having sex sometimes. Which doesn't help and now where he's at the point in saying what he said to me last night. So it can either be him feeling bad for still continuing to sleep together or still have or be developing further feelings again. I hope it's that lol. Either way it will figure itself out. Thanks again!!

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you need to cut all contact so he can figure out his shit. Guys are weird with commitment sometimes and when things seem to be moving fast in the "commitment" direction, they get scared and run. Give him space and let him come to u. Try not to have sex with him either. While he has his space, try and move on with your life and figure out who you are. Due to the fact that u gave him all the things u gave him, shows u don't love and respect yourself enough. You need to gain that within yourself before committing to anyone.

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    • I have a similar issue with my boyfriend with commitment issues. We were happy for 5 years and then he suddenly started freaking out when viewing houses and said he doesn't feel how he should and hasn't spoken to me in weeks! I have tried but getting no where, I am trying to leave him alone now... it's hard though.

    • @confuzzledgirlie it would be hard. You have to try and give him that space. If he really loves you, he will realize he can't be without you eventually

    • Yeah.. I have got to the point where I am used to it now as it's been over a month. I tried contacting at the weekend for the first time in three weeks and got no reply. Anniversary is supposed to be Friday but obviously it won't happen lol.
      I am just going to leave him to it now. Focusing on myself seeing as he doesn't want to know. I can't rely on him coming back so xx

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