My ex boyfriend just recently just got hired at a casino and work full time , plus in college we are long distance relationship. Now that he has a job and in college we barely have a chance to talk , it's been 5 days in a row we never talked on the phone I slowly drifted away from him and started falling out of love because we never had time for each other anymore once I told him that , he has been blaming me for everything and been so rude to me I told him I'm leaving I can't take this anymore , he cursed me out and even called me a n*gger and a motherfucker taking his anger out on me which broke my heart completely I blocked him on every social network. I just received his letter through mail today he sent 3 days ago , he is saying sorry he love me and wants to marry me.. I don't know I just can't , I don't know. I just. Should I forgive him and date him again? Or move on and just let things go... I have feelings too :(
Most Helpful Guy
Wow... well... that's pretty fucked up what he said. But I guess people make mistakes too, nobody's perfect. I'd definitely say that he's probably very stressed between full time work and school and balancing a long distance relationship. Honestly, to me, it sounds like he's probably scared of losing you, even though it caused him to lash out in a way that would drive you away. Dudes and feelings and whatnot... not really our forte, haha, so we cut up a lot when shit gets crazy. But you guys are young'uns, anybody your age that handwrites a letter and sends it in the mail has GOT to be serious😂 So I mean, it's really up to you and how you feel about this guy. How long have you been together? How long have you been long distance? What's the long term outlook as far as the LDR situation? One year thing? Two more years? Do you think you can stay interested? Whatever the case, I think there should be a conversation. Try to get to the bottom of where his head is at. I'm just spitballing but I'm envisioning myself in a situation where I'm just grinding so hard and trying to do right for my future and get by in the present, and I have a girl I want to be with, yet what it takes to reach my long term goals is harmful to the short term situation... i'd probably feel pretty boxed in. That's actually when I get the most bugged out in life, when I'm faced with situations or decisions where both options are the right move, but the options can't coexist, at least not peacefully. I feel so stuck, and that's when I can lash out in a manner uncharacteristic of my usual self.
So I'd say to hear him out, let him explain himself, and then you need to have an honest conversation about where this is going, what you both need, what you both can and can't deal with, and see if you can move forward. LDRs are definitely tough and require work, so it's understandable that you'd need to talk more than every five days. Just lay it all out in an honest and open conversation, both of you, and then think on it and see what feels right.
Most Helpful Girl
Is this the first time that it's happened? Or does he have a temper like that, that's going to keep flaring up. If this is the first time maybe this is something you both can work on as you grow together, but if this has happened more than once, it's time to leave. You can't keep being a doormat for whenever he's mad or upset for him to lash out at and then apologize to. If you want to make things work, make sure you guys sit down and talk about it. Since he's busy and you guys are long distance you're both going to have to put more effort into giving each other time and attention.0