How quickly do guys actually move on, and how does it work?

I am in so much pain, my relationship was having ups and downs and I had my own personal issues going on. I caused a huge argument, not for the first time, but this time my now ex boyfriend has moved on. He's found a new girl who is everything I'm not - she's beautiful and extremely physically fit and funny and they seem to get on really well.

What I want to know is how do guys do this? How do they move on so fast? I saw him last night and I cried for hours on end, and he cried a lot too, but just told me there was a special place in his heart for me and that it was over, and he had plans to meet this other girl. He's genuinely doing so well, and after 2 years of being together I just don't know how to cope.

Any advice for getting over someone and moving the hell on? And would you say that guys can genuinely move on this fast or that it's more of a distraction?

Thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's difficult to say since I don't know him. I can tell you he's trying to make up for something. The reason I say that is, yes guys can move on quite but that is too quick. He think by having this new girl will help, but he's substituting for something else. The emotion hype is haywire right now, she new, cute, athletic, but you don't know the hiccups along the way that are unspoken.
    I say to you is simple, you do what you can to get your life in order. Not saying your out of shape but go to the gym, when working out your body releases serotonin which helps you to feel better. Quit comparing yourself to her, you are unique in your own way. Hope this helps you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys sometimes try to get over previous relationships by getting into new ones. It is kind of like rebound in basketball hence the name "rebound relationship." It does not mean that he is over you.

    I am so sorry you feel this way. It must be frustrating and difficult, but you must remember how wonderful you are. I admire your strength for not getting into a relationship with another guy when you know you are not ready. That would not be fair to either you or that guy.

    One thing you do deserve at all times though is respect, especially from yourself. You must remember to take care of yourself. You must get up in the morning, you must brush your teeth, eat three meals a day, etc. And most importantly, you must not spend time alone dwelling on what it is that you did wrong.

    Instead, go and see your buds. Make plans with them. Do the things you enjoy. Even if it does not cheer you up right away, with time you will start to feel better. Friends heal us when we are going through hard times. You must allow yourself that medicine.

    Also, do not beat yourself over the head when you start to think about him. It is going to happen and when it does, just try to focus instead on what is going on around you and try to stay in the moment as best you can.

    I believe in you :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • Guys and girls move on as soon as they meet someone they like better than their previous partner. You say "she's extremely physically fit". If you are in poor physical condition, you should work on that. It will improve your confidence and mood and make you a much more attractive partner for a guy who is in shape.

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  • It is different from person to person. It took me like a year or something to get over her, like completely over. But some people move on quicker than others, and it also depends on the situation.
    If We didn't part ways on good terms, it'd be a lot different. Like. Oh she cheated on me? Boom, a few days to a week max

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  • Depends. A heartless player may be over it in a day.
    However, if a guy loses a girl that he was committed to and loved with all his heart, he may take much, MUCH longer than the girl to get over that loss.

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  • By and large depends on the guy and also the relationship he has had with the woman, if it was strong, deep then it will take some time for him to move on, but if the relationship was short lived then he can get over it in a day or 2 easily.

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  • Some people happen to find someone else they like quickly, some people just go on the rebound, some people take a long time to find someone they're really serious about after a break up. In terms of being emotionally ready to see someone new sometimes a new person is a way to repress that sadness, sometimes they repress it other ways and are thus ready to find someone new, some people just deal with it well and don't need to repress, some people can separate the sadness of the breakup from finding someone new completely (as I think I would be able to). I think it's more common for guys to be able to repress it and use a new person as a coping mechanism/seaprate the sadness and the new person completely, but there's no real pattern, it's best not to think of what this means regarding him and you but it sounds like he's still sad but is either separating his new person from that sadness or is using her as a coping mechanism

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  • Notice how all the answers are over 20? Well, things are a little different below that age. I'm not saying their wrong or that I'm very experienced or something, but I do believe it's a lot harder to get over the other person if you're still a teen, due to hormones qnd shit.

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  • Depends on the guy, the girl, and the relationship. Unfortunately there is no general rule to this. Sorry.

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  • Too many variables, can't give an accurate answer. Everyone is different.

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  • It depends how attached they were.

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  • It depends on the guy for me it would take 4 weeks.

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  • Men are unlike women
    Men do have feelings

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  • U don't move on to nothing, we just keep going

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  • it depends on the guy

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  • Sadly it's whoever is stronger in the relationship will move on faster. Doesn't matter if its a boy or a girl. I have spent over a year trying to get over my girl and it still hurts and I haven't moved on.

    You really loved him but it just didn't work out.

    Don't worry about moving on, cut him out of your life and focus on yourself. Take your time.

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  • the faster we get a new girl whos better of course, then we move on, otherwise we end up miserable.
    so i suggest you go and find another guy whos better to make you happy again

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What Girls Said 6

  • You are young so it will take you a while but that's ok!
    It will also take him a long time but he has a "distraction" now.
    A lot of people do this.
    That's why I avoid dating men that just got out of long term relationships.

    It takes most people 1-2 years before they can fully truly fall in love and invest in a new relationship.
    We can get crushes sooner but real love needs a clear mind.

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  • It seems like a lot guys can get over any girl no matter how much they loved her or how long they were together. Usually it takes them between a couple days or a couple weeks and they're completely over it. pretty messed up

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  • I think it just may seem guys move on quickly, but inside they are hurting, they get hurt too, but just don't show it.

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  • it depends on how fast someone stops caring (for both guys and girls) you said you argued a lot so its very possible that he slowly stopped caring a while back and has been talking to this new girl a little more and more every time you argued so by the time you broke up, he had already moved on.

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  • I'm exactly where you are dear.. I dove heart first for a younger man who seemingly was just as much into me... he actually approached me and within 1 week, he was gone. He didn't bother to talk at what was going on.. he just admittedly took his belongings and walked outta my life. Now that's sum hard stuff to deal wuth.. my only advice is to occupy your mind with what you hold dear an near... Most men will do exactly the same to you, sad but true... each day you wake up, let that day be one step close to meeting your true love.. and you will be one step farther way from the person that broke your heat... I don't think men have a heart like women do at all..

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  • If you have personal issues similar to mine, I can completely empathise with you, my ex boyfriend broke up with me and got with someone else who was everything I wasn't, and it hurt like hell. The best advice I could give you is to first cry it out and get all of the negative energy out of your system and then clear you space of anything that is to do with him (photos, clothes, maybe even gifts etc). Also surround yourself with people that you love, my friends and family were a huge help when getting through the break up and don't be scared to be 100% honest with how you are feeling when they ask because they can help you. Also take time to love yourself again, treat yourself to some new clothes, go get your hair done, hit the gym, it will make you feel so much more confident in yourself I can assure you. I'm not going to lie to you it does hurt like hell and feels like your other half has gone but I promise you it will get better eventually, no telling how long because everyone is different. You deserve someone so much better than you and in time you will realise that, I really do hope you'll forget about the idiot and feel great again. I hope this helps and if there's anything else please ask

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