I cry whenever I think that I want/have to break up with my boyfriend?

I've been thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend for a while now. Why? Because I want to get married in the next 3 years but he tells me he is not thinking of that at all. He is 4 years younger than me and still in college so I understand that marriage is too far away a concept for him right now.

But I cannot afford to wait for him indefinitely as I cannot push him to decide now if he will marry me in 4 years. I think that's selfish and unreasonable.

The point is I feel if I don't get married soon, my biological clock will run out of time and friends have told me to break up with him and find someone else who can.

He's not perfect, sometimes I also don't know why I'm dating him. He is not always sensitive to me.

My question is; I probably should break up with him, but why do I cry whenever I think of it? What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You shouldn't get married just because your biological clock will run out over time, yes that will happen but that's not a reason to get married. I mean that can put a guy off, and plus it shows that you are giving importance to having kids and that's why you want to get married. Not a good reason or an attitude to have.

    However I can understand that it concerns you and that waiting is going to be a painful task and you're right. How old is he? and how old are you?

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    • I'm 26 and he's 21 (turning 22) this year

    • I can understand in that case that can be tough. You said he is turning 22 this year so I assume he would be busy with setting up his career and making himself financially stable, so marriage would certainly not be a priority for him, at least not for another 3 years minimum, so by then you will be 29.

      3 years would be my assumption and that's a minimum period so it can be a little more than that also. Hence it really depends on you if you are willing to be patient, if you are willing to support him and wait for him to get married to you then it's fine.

      However if you think it's going to be a painful task waiting for that long, which is understandable then the best option for you is to break up with him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should just get it over with. The longer you wait the longer it will hurt you and him both. It is normal to get emotional at the thought of ending a relationship no matter how many problems it has. But you have to do what you have to do and you know what you have to do. Be strong ❤

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • That's probably a normal feeling to have

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  • is he your first?

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  • girls that obsess over that biological clock thing is a turn off to guys, because that means you just want to get married to have kids and many guys find that a total turn off, as a guy i can tell you being married doesn't mean you have to have kids it means you belong to each other under a vow to love them forever. so he's not the one being selfish and unreasonable.

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    • Uhh yes I know. In my question I meant that I would be selfish and unreasonable if I pushed him to decide now whether to get married or not. I didn't say he was selfish. That's why I'm not sure if I should make such a request of him.

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    • i dont want to give you a bad idea and waste your life on someone who might be a problem, but wait until he finishes and graduates than ask him again, be patient, but im skeptical on replying this because any guy whos really in love with a girl that asks to marry him would accept her proposal and go for it. age wouldn't matter.

    • Thank you for that

What Girls Said 4

  • You cry because you care and don't want to hurt him. But it doesn't mean it isn't the right thing

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  • So you're 24 max you want to be married by 27 to (I assume have kids) when you can have kids relativley safely until 40. There is no need to rush it.
    Anyways leave him if you don't love him. You crying could be for different reasons

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  • You are 24 tops. Your biological clock is not going to run out of time in 4 years. If you love him, like really love him, then keep him. If it's more than what you're describing here, and you just don't see a long-term future with him, then let him go.

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    • I'm actually 26, in 4 years I'll be 30. I assume it's going to be difficult to have kids past 30.

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    • Yes I know, which is why I say I cannot wait, because of the whole time needed to meet someone new/fall in love... etc. I feel like the "right" thing to do would be to break up but I get so upset if I think about breaking up with him.

    • Deep down you know what you want more, so it's important that you do just that. Good luck.

  • Meh. You're human. Sometimes we get attached to dumb shyt. Dump him and ask him if he would like to remain friends? No point in losing a friend just because you guys are not right for each other romantically.

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    • I don't even know if i can remain friends with him. I feel like if I break up with him my heart will break. I still reminisce about our first few dates. Do you think I'm still in love with him?

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