My Ex and I were in a relationship for 6years and lived together for 9months - we had good and bad times - but through it all we both maintained our love for each other always. 2months ago, whilst out with his friends we had an argument and he brokeup with me. Nothing was said for two days, then he came home from work and told me he was moving in with his friend at the weekend. it felt as though the breakup cameout of nowhere even the day before he had told me he loved me, we had even recently booked a holiday. I asked him why, he offered little explanation - he wasn't happy, and no longer felt the same. We lived together for a week, I tried to keep my emotions in check, we got along well. Even though we got on he wouldn't accept any physical contact. He told he cared for me, there was no one else and he couldnt completely cut contact with me. When he moved out thing changed our only interactions were about the house and the bills if I got upset he acted perplexed like nothing had happened. After everything was split and I moved out I heard nothing from him. then a week later he blocked me on FB, I was told it was because he had updated his relationshipstatus and didn't want me to know - 30 mins later I received a message from him telling me he was seeing someone else. His mates said they met an hour after he ended it with me. They are still together now, and a few weeks ago I bumped into them both in a local bar, he walked straight past me, ignoring my existence, and proceeded to make out with her basically infront of my face. When i asked how he could do that, he literally said eww get away from me no emotion, no concern or care just cold and cruel like I was nothing. I just can't understand why/how after such a long time spend together. It so hard to move forward without closure. I can deal with us not getting back together I just can't imagine living the rest of our lives as strangers after all the memories weve shared and all we have been through can anyone help?
I can't move on, because I can't understand - how can he do this to me?
What Guys Said 1
It seems like he has a two-fold approach to addressing the breakup on his part: 1) he is using a "no contact" approach, possibly to help him move forward from you; and 2) this new girl sounds like a rebound with how quickly she entered the picture.
Without hearing from him, I can only theorize about his reasons. As for the new girlfriend, maybe they're together because he was cheating on you with her, and the last argument was when he decided to cut the cord? Or maybe she's just a rebound / flavor-of-the-week since he doesn't want to be alone, especially not at a public, social function.
If you haven't done it already, I think your best option is to work on yourself and to try to move forward from the relationship. Since communication is a two-way street, and he refuses to communicate, it seems like getting a solid answer or any closure will be impossible. I'm also certain that the approach of making out with the new girl, knowing that you were there watching, was very deliberate and was probably and attempt to make you jealous or get you riled up, which it seems like it has (understandably).
Fight fire with fire. Don't fall into his game. You calling, texting, asking his friends about him, etc. is stroking his ego in a huge way, because it's a sign of power that he can wield over you. And the new girl? Probably a rebound just to get you upset, because it's another power he can wield over you.0
What Girls Said 1
It's super hard, you were together for a really long time, so it'll be hard for both of you to move on but it's possible, though it may take a super long time. He might appear to have moved on quicker than you but it's usually just a mask that guys use to protect themselves. My ex was very cold and cruel with me although we had a lovely relationship and I was always good to him and him to me. Guys just go like that for some reason. You will always have his heart and he could never forget you. You've taken a considerable chunk of his life, almost a decade. He may even come back as you have so much together. You have to focus on yourself until he sees his error. You might not ever get closure so try not to hold onto it, otherwise you'll definitely not move forward.0
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