We've been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been great, we can talk for hours, and never get bored, play like a kid. Fairytale. Granted, we started out as friends. We think we have the most similar personality ever, and our friends think so too. We have talked about marriage, and kids. Met her family. Just like romantic movies. lasted for a year.
My perspective: Arguments arise when she started to go clubbing and confessed that there were grinding (she could feel dicks behind her). I didn't go with her for some reason. Biggest regret. In addition to this, a guy friend of hers who is interested in her, came to fetch her to lunch, and she went up his car.
I started feeling insecure, to every single things, and express out. I am an expressive kind in nature.
She is someone who takes things in and don't express much.
Her perspective: Don't always accuse her. She linked all of the arguments that happen since clubbing, and tell me we're not suitable for each other.
My perspective: I have been picking on every single things i have done for her, because she doesn't express, and I thought she was taking me for granted.
Her perspective: Don't always calculate what I've done for her. She just is not an expressive person, but she knows what i've done for her. And she can see I've done so much, and see that I'm always the one who gives, while she is always the one who takes in (arguments).
The last time we argued, after it was solved, I said another wrong thing again, saying that I'll be okay, but it hurts me more to know that she will hurt even more than me.
Her perspective: She prepares herself knowing that I'll be okay, and thought of break up. She told me about it, but said that she will give us another chance, a week.
Please advice me. Scold the crap out of me. I love her. I know she does too. She just wants me to change. But what can I do?
Asked her if she still likes me. She said don't ask question like this, it's not the same anymore.
I'm being: We will be happy; Trust me;
She's being: Can't guarantee; It will happen if it happens; I hope;
Trust me, I truly believe it's because you guys are hearing from my perspective, that you guys think of her this way (that she's bad). Think of it like this. Nobody is perfect. Her weaknesses, are basically just everything you guys know right now.
Most Helpful Guy
If you want to try to keep her, you have to let go of the insecurities. Can't lock her in a cage 24/7 and she's going to get some attention from the opposite sex. You just have to trust her and your appeal to her.
And you have to be really mentally tough. Mentally tough doesn't just mean jumping into a fire to rescue her. It also means when you're angry at her or upset about something, instead of yelling or getting distant, you calm yourself down and gently talk.
Focus on bonding. If you don't think she expresses much, cuddle more and talk more gently. If she gets angry, be the bigger person and ask her gently what's bother her instead of arguing back. Don't seek your perception of fairness, stay level-headed and seek the courses of action that lead to positive outcomes and mutual understanding for both of you.
The peak of emotional maturity does not say, "I behaved poorly because [...]". It stops as "I behaved poorly." It's because the peak of it does not excuse poor behavior on any account, no matter how much you were provoked. Try to strive for this. It's quite a manly trait.1
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