I had sex with my ex who has a new girlfriend?

My ex broke my heart about a month ago and I can't seem to let him go. I'm in a really vulnerable place right now in my life. A lot of things just aren't going the way I pictured them to go. And then my ex dumps me telling me he no longer has feelings for me and he is embarrassed to be seen with me because I am so overweight. I am 5 feet and 140 pounds, i know I could lose 20 pounds. He always called me pig and fat. He was the first person I ever gave myself too. I was a 22 year old virgin before I met him. I gave him everything he could ever want in a girlfriend. I was very open to any sexual things he wanted me to do.
After 2 years of dating, he dumps me and gets in a new relationship 2 weeks later with a girl he always told me was just a friend. A month later, we ended up hooking up while he was still with that other girl. I didn't say no because I love him. I want him back. I told his new girlfriend and she threatened to never call them ever again because apparently my ex told her im some stalker. He has been texting me to hang out with him ever since and we always hang out and I beg him to take me back. We end up hooking up each time. I am a prisoner to my own heart. I am in love with this man. He was the first man to call me beautiful. I cry every night thinking how another girl is wrapped around his arms and I am all alone.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The person you are in such love with has no moral compass. He’s deceitful and without compassion for those he hurts, hurts deeply and badly and continues to take advantage of your vulnerable situation and mental-emotional state of mind. The level of his manipulation of you is beyond measure, and very much I hope you will take this advice to heart and cut him out of your life.
    Believe me, granted; what I’m suggesting will probably tear at your heart even more, especially since he was your first in many ways. You gave him your virginity and you gave him your heart. You were open to anything he wanted to try sexually or to do to you, because you didn’t want him to give you up; you didn’t want to lose what you had. All of it normal and commendable on your part.
    However, the reality of the situation is he doesn’t actually love you. For him to be doing the things he’s doing to you, he probably didn’t really love you at all even in the beginning. Harsh my words are, but I truly believe you need to hear this in a very straightforward manner. You are worth so much more than him and you deserve so much more. And that being said go ahead and cry your eyes out. Cry as much as you need to. Yell. Scream. Do whatever it is that you need to do, but get this guy out of your system, before he does something to you that can’t be fixed; emotionally and mentally speaking.

    Don't you personally feel you deserve better than just the casual hook ups you've been getting when he feels he can give you the time of day? Don't be that negative on yourself.

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    • Thank you for the wise words. I will take this message to heart.

    • You're most welcome. It angers me when people are treated in such a dehumanizing way. I know how that can feel; been on the other side of the equation. People should not be treated as if they are beneath you. That's my personal opinion. Feel free to talk to me any time, especially if you need more advice. I promise I'll always give you a straightforward answer.

    • I agree with what was said by both MHO's.

      I'll add to it that your feelings are normal.. that is you were attracted, bonded with him, and he pulled away. it is terribly hurtful.
      You need to get to a marriage/family counselor immediately to help you through this because you need to disconnect from him, block him and not see him. He is terribly abusive. I've seen other girls attached like you are and you need to trust your GAGers here and break away from him so you can heal and find a good mate.

      I believe if you were attracted to this guy, you as well had some self esteem issues starting out. The value in all of this will be not getting him, or what you had, it is what you will learn about yourself, what you need, and how you will become a better person. That is the value. This guy has his own issues, and your relationship together had its issues Im sure, they just aren't listed.

      It will be hard, but it is the best thing you can do... leave him, get counselor.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry you were treated so poorly by this person. He obviously has no regard for your feelings (or his current girlfriend's!). I would move on. I know it really sucks to read but I promise you he doesn't love you. Men who love women do not treat them this way.

    Women often feel resentful of men because of past experiences but, the truth is, they never really knew love in the first place. When men are in love, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt. Men make it very obvious when they love a woman. Men do not call the woman they love a "pig". It doesn't cross their minds! Men are wired to protect and cherish the woman they fall in love with.

    Move on and find a man who loves you. Trust me, once you find a man who really wants to be with you, he'll jump on that "20 extra pounds" like it's his last chance at sex for the next century!

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    • Thank you so much for the encouragement, I appreciate it.

    • Absolutely! Any time! Trust me, I know what's it like to be in your shoes. This is the reason I feel comfortable giving advice. If you ever need anything, just email me! :)

    • Thanks for MHO!!

What Guys Said 19

  • He is a cheater. He is cheating on his current girlfriend every time he gives you a poke. If he comes back to you, he will do the same thing to you. Why do you want a cheater?

    Get over him. Read this:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11176-a-practical-guide-for-how-to-get-over-your-breakup-how-to-get-on

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  • he's a cheater and a jackass who treated you poorly. what do you want back? a guy who insults you based on your physical appearance?

    you deserve better simple as that. you deserve a guy who doesn't cheat on partners. you deserve a person who won't insult you. so just move on

    i know it may be hard as he was your first and it sounds like you deal with some self-esteem issues but you need to move on. someone better is out there for you

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  • Earlier this year I went to the office of a woman who was a VIP where I work. I am a nobody just a contractor. This woman is rather good-looking but she puts on a lot of war paint and dresses really well and that helps but what is really distinctive is her perfume. She used to walk near my desk on her way to the bathroom and I always knew it was her from that distinctive perfume. Well early this year I knew that my desk was going to move to another building, so I finally got up the courage to go to her office introduce myself and ask about her perfume. This is what she told me what it was:

    Champs-Élysée
    by Guerlain
    m.guerlain.com/.../champs-elysees

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  • You need to stay strong and keep away from him. He sounds terrible and u are a human being with feelings and he should respect you. U need to find somebody who puts the same amount of effort into u as u do Into them. U will find the partner of your dreams. No need to settle

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  • If you can't see his faults at your age then you'll never learn. If they do it to someone else they'll do it to you. Your letting yourself get caught in this vicious cycle. He obviously just wants you for sex. Also why would you hang out with a dude or even let him fuck you after calling you names?

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    • Because he was the first person to call me beautiful and I fell in love with him

    • First but possibly not the last. Unless you settle for that. Obviously he's not coming back and anyone in their right mind wouldn't want that. You need to reevaluate yourself if you only feel in love with him just because he called you beautiful.

  • It seems that this "man" (using a very liberal interpretation of the word) used you the entire time. He still is. I mean, what are you hoping to get out of this?

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  • A. Get over him you won't get him back
    B. He stayed in contact with you just to fuck one last time.
    C. Never ever ever ever stay in contact with an ex. Only if you have children together but even than its civil not texting and shit every day.

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  • it was a mistake. don´t sleep with your ex, especially not, if they have a new girl. i can´t tell if that numbers put you on the "heavy" side but i can tell for sure, that this is not a reason to put yourself down like that.

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  • His behaviour is out of order. He doesn't deserve the affection you give him. I know that won't change your feelings but therapy or a new guy might.

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  • If it ruins his relationship it sounds like he was a tool and deserves it, if it doesn't no harm no foul.

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  • You need to forget about him because he's a cheater and it seems like the only time he checks you is to have sex

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  • Your ex sounds like an asshole, and you sound kinda dumb... Be thankful the relationship is over ! And send the new girl a screenshot of his texts because he's an asshole and deserves it

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  • I don't think 140 pounds and 5ft tall is fat. I'm 5'4'' and 120 pounds.

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  • Grow up. this world ain't fair.

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  • If you guys slept with eachother on a Thursday, that is not cheating... that is just a throw back.#TBT

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  • That cheating and its bad

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  • bad girl ;)

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  • Why are you in love with a cheater?

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    • I don't have an answer to that. I just am

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    • Easier said than done

    • Well, the best way is just to simply block him. He is basically a stalker now

  • You can't can't keep hooking up with him, it's a temporary fix to your loneliness, you really need to move on, he is just using you now

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    • I am very lonely. I just don't know how to deal with it

    • Like the rest of us do, we cry and grieve and cry some more, then we brush our selves off, focus on ourselves for awhile then go back out there and find someone better

What Girls Said 5

  • So basically what you did was give your sexual gifts to a major asshole who made you feel worthless for your weight and cheated on his girlfriend? Does that sound intelligent and healthy to you?

    He basically called you fat, ignoring and denying your attributes, said he was embarrassed to be seen with you, but didn't hesitate to let make him cum. Then he slandered your name and completely smeared your character by making you look like the crazy, love-struck, obsessed ex and whatever he's said about you is so bad that his girlfriend didn't even slightly believe you two hooked up. Yet you continue to hook up with a man who left you for being "fat" and feels embarrassed to be seen with you outside of a bed where he's getting off? I have to be honest: Love is making you a dumb ass. Love is chipping away any ounce of self-worth and self-value you ever had. You cannot appreciate yourself when you are a 24 hour sexual ATM for a pig who cheats on his girlfriend and told you that you were too fat to have access to his heart. You are compromising and sacrificing your character for a piece of shit who probably wouldn't choose you if he could only pick one person to save from a car that was about to fall of a cliff. But based on what you say, you would actually be naïve and deluded enough to think that he will until he helps his girlfriend first.

    Not only that but he's a cheater which means that having him back means every sexy, sweet moment he shares with you, he'd be sharing with someone else behind your back. Seeing that he's a cheater should be enough to make you not want him. You need to get a grip, snap out of it, and walk away from this snake before his venom utterly destroys your life.

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    • I know, it sounds terrible. I don't want to be with someone like that, but I ended up falling in love and I can't help myself. He has my heart. But thank you so much for the helpful message, I really appreciate the effort.

    • You're welcome :) I want to be of help which is why I'm so blunt because it sounds like you've reached a point where brutal honesty is the only thing that's going to pull you out of this self-destructive pattern.

      It doesn't just 'sound' terrible; IT IS TERRIBLE. You are embracing a terrible situation that is horrible for your mind, heart, and soul. Not only that but you are volunteering to be apart of breaking another woman's heart. What you are doing is disgusting and shameful on top of counterproductive for healing your own heartache and being able to live a happy life.

      You need to learn how to help yourself. Stop acting like some lovesick little puppy who has no control over your behavior. You are a grown woman. You can tell him it's over, block his number, delete him from all social media and choose to deal with your heartache in a healthy, progressive way. His dick is not the remedy to what you're going through especially if he's sharing it with at least one other female.

  • He called you a pig and fat, he got with you and then hated you for who you are. Was probably cheating on you with that girl. And then he starts cheating on a girl with you.

    Wy would you want him back? He has no respect for you, he's a cheater, a liar. I get being hurt but you need to cut him out of your life, you need to heal and move on.

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    • I want to heal and move on more than anything. I just don't know how since I've never experienced this before, but I do appreciate the helpful message

    • I can't believe he acted that way. I got called fat this morning at the GYM by someone, so I guess I'm in a little bit of an annoyed mood to see others getting called that right now ha.
      I mean, he sounds horrible.

      I guess just blocking him, change your number if need be/possible, even get a new phone. Treat yourself to a few new things if you can, block him from being able to contact you and just try and immerse yourself in friends or a hobby. The busier you can keep yourself at the start, the easier it is I've found.

  • I am crying with you. The first guy to call you beautiful. 😢 😭
    I think you need to move on, and find another man. He is a cheater. It is obvious he was probably cheating on you, when he told you that girl was a friend. Now he is cheating on her with you. It is like a love triangle, sort of.
    Move on. There is an ocean of men out there who will call you beautiful, and they will respect you. I believe are truly beautiful. Beauty comes from within.
    He doesn't deserve your love, if he is acting like that.
    It may be hard to move on, but you can make it, don't worry. 😊

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  • Sorry for what I am going to said to you. You are dumb he is playing you, and he was playing you before too. You won't win a man, if you don't respect youself first. I am pretty sure you look 100 times better than him and her. Never ever beg a man to come back, that why he won't come back. Ignore him, dress nice go out places where you can meet and ignore him. Make sure you can find a cute friends or date that look better than him. He will get jealous an will try to get you back. Play cool. Just don't do anything you will regret.

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  • You need to let go Hun he's having his cake and eating it too and your just looking like the craxy ex. Move on please for your own sake. It's not easy but for your own sanity.. Move on.

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