Ex got upset and now I feel guilty?

After a month of no contact I texted my ex saying I hope he's doing great. He responded back and forth saying he's not doing well, he's lonely, he realized he fucked up and that he still has strong feelings for me, and pushing to see if i met someone new. I am no longer interested in dating him, so I just acted supportive and said we can definitely be friends whenever he's ready. He got upset that I didn't directly to respond to him admitting his feelings, and said I ruined his night.

Now I feel terrible, because I had good intentions and he got really upset. What can I do to help him feel better? Is it best I just don't respond or contact him again unless he's ready to talk to me himself?


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What Guys Said 2

  • this is hard because of the feelings and expectations. Often times a counselor would say to break things off for several months at minimum or until you two are in other stable relationships. It can be difficult for some people to be friends after being close lovers.

    reality is, you decided to not continue relationship and that boundary needs to be reinforced with him that you would be a friend, but not a girlfriend anymore. He is going to have to accept that and suffer.

    Seriously, get counseling if there are lingering problems... guys can hurt like women do, we aren't so tough and are often very weak and emotionally immature.

    you can console him of his fine qualities and reinforce how he will find a great girl for himself (feel good talk).

    The best thing peole in relationships can do is take what they learned about themselves... their needs, their flaws and what they want to change about themselves. It isn't about changing the other person. That's the good stuff, take time to do that (both of you) rather than running out to find some other person to fill the void. Suffer for a while... its good as it produces growth.

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  • He's probably only interested in a relationship... the only thing you can do is have an open chat with him about it. Trying to relax the situation.
    But if you don't want a relationship with him anymore, and he wants nothing else, than there's no real solution :-(

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What Girls Said 1

  • misery loves company. he is TRYING to make u feel bad. don't let him get to u. he needs to learn on his own to grow up and move on. deal with whatever he is feeling and get strnger.
    its not ur fault.

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