Would you let him do this to you?

I am suffering because my husband recently told me he will divorce me and nothing seems to change his mind. We were together for what I thought were 4 great years, but only 5 months of marriage. It completely devastated me because although I knew things were not going well lately, I thought at least I would not be the only one trying to work things out. He completely quit on me and treats me like a disease: he says over and over that he's done, that he doesn't care if he never sees me again, that he will be perfectly happy anyway.

However, after 2 weeks of basically telling me to fuck off, yesterday he told me he decided to "give me one last chance" although he doesn't have any hope and thinks he is just trying to postpone something which is already dead. He said he will stay in my house for some more time and says if he sees any change in ME he will PERHAPS reconsider. He explicitly said he will not change a thing about his behavior. He also said the moment I say something that makes him upset, try to speak about our relationship or my feelings he will pack the bags and leave definitely not to ever see me again. I am completely torn, because the problem about our relationship was precisely that he thought I was too dependent on him and I thought he was too selfish, living life as if he was single (he was even willing to move to another city without asking for my opinion, regardless of whether I joined him or not). Yesterday he said "I have no more minutes, money or happy days to waste on you". Mind you, I didn't cheat on him, hit him, insult him, control him or spend his money. He wants out because he thinks I am making too many plans counting on him and that I have an immature idea of love.
I am terrified because I do not want a divorce, the thought of him disappearing from my life without a trace makes me feel like I will faint. However, I find this unfair. I feel like I don't deserve this treatment, like I make him sick, annoyed, unhappy. What would you do?


0|0
63

Most Helpful Guy

  • Too damned simple what I would do! When you're in a spot like this, come out of your corner, fighting. Metaphorically, of course! If he threatens to leave, tell him to close the door quietly after he goes. Be firm and decisive! Don't even look at him. THAT'S important. Be busy doing something else. He will either go, in which case you'll know where you stand, or it will knock some sense into him.

    2|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • How can you be with a man who is disrespecting you and controlling you? Girl, you gotta build up that courage of yours (wherever it may be hiding) and realize that you deserve so much better than how he is treating you. If you stay with him, he will find reasons and ways to keep insulting you every chance you get and you will not be happy.

    This is not acceptable to me. If I were you, I'd grab my things and leave. I know you don't want a divorce, but are you really willing to endure and suffer for someone who does not even respect you in the slightest bit? It's just not worth it to me.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Thank you Karen for taking the time to talk, it is helpful to hear somebody else's perspective...

    • Show All
    • Thanks for the MHO

Sponsored

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you're slacking on wifey duties: draining his balls and making his belly full.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Did you or him bring more assets to the marriage

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • The only way i could fathom how a guy could speak to his wife that way is if you cheated on him. Otherwise, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I would kick him to the curb and never look back. I don't understand how women let men treat them this way, it's fucking sickening, not the way he is treating you (which is obvious) but that you let him. Unbelievable...

    1|0
    0|0
    • Hi, thanks for stopping by. The reason I let him treat me like this is because of our past together and our potential future, unfortunately. It just takes over me. For instance, I want to send him away and tell him to leave, but then I remember the times we spent together as college students, our plans together that we used to have like moving to Australia together, our investments, his moments with my family, our wedding... and it seems to take over my rational side... I am afraid I will regret my decision of telling him to go and never ever seeing him again, this makes my chest hurt just to think of it... I am definitely going to start seeing a psychologist to help me with the process, but yeah this is pretty much the reason I hear these things and don't pack and leave in the second.

    • I can feel your pain and i am very sorry you feel this way, but the way you described him and his behavior towards you is downright cruel, it does not sound like a person who even likes you let alone is in love with you. Whatever you had in the past is not what you have now for whatever reason and he has certainly fallen out of love with you and is just being a complete jackass to you, i don't know if you've left out some things, but i could never imagine anyone talking to me that way, let alone a husband. You need do what's best for you and being with a guy who treats you like this is certainly not what's best.

  • The way you describe it I would pack his things myself... He´s so self-centered, there are TWO people in a relationship, two sets of feelings, opinions, wants and he just wants a hot meal when he comes home? He would never satisfy your needs and you´ll be very unhappy if you stay with him... He´s trying to end it in a horrible way, in such a way that you wouldn´t come back... 4 years together, 5 months married? Can´t believe he started to treat you like shit only after the marriage...

    1|0
    0|0
  • The fact ur in here asking this question, is proof ur crying out for help. And its ok. Question is, DO U REALLY WANA BE WITH SOMEONE THAT CONTINUES TO DOSRESPECTFUL TO YOU AND STRESSES YOU OUT?

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should read "The five languages of love"

    1|0
    0|0
  • Lawl

    0|0
    1|0
Loading...