I am suffering because my husband recently told me he will divorce me and nothing seems to change his mind. We were together for what I thought were 4 great years, but only 5 months of marriage. It completely devastated me because although I knew things were not going well lately, I thought at least I would not be the only one trying to work things out. He completely quit on me and treats me like a disease: he says over and over that he's done, that he doesn't care if he never sees me again, that he will be perfectly happy anyway.
However, after 2 weeks of basically telling me to fuck off, yesterday he told me he decided to "give me one last chance" although he doesn't have any hope and thinks he is just trying to postpone something which is already dead. He said he will stay in my house for some more time and says if he sees any change in ME he will PERHAPS reconsider. He explicitly said he will not change a thing about his behavior. He also said the moment I say something that makes him upset, try to speak about our relationship or my feelings he will pack the bags and leave definitely not to ever see me again. I am completely torn, because the problem about our relationship was precisely that he thought I was too dependent on him and I thought he was too selfish, living life as if he was single (he was even willing to move to another city without asking for my opinion, regardless of whether I joined him or not). Yesterday he said "I have no more minutes, money or happy days to waste on you". Mind you, I didn't cheat on him, hit him, insult him, control him or spend his money. He wants out because he thinks I am making too many plans counting on him and that I have an immature idea of love.
I am terrified because I do not want a divorce, the thought of him disappearing from my life without a trace makes me feel like I will faint. However, I find this unfair. I feel like I don't deserve this treatment, like I make him sick, annoyed, unhappy. What would you do?
Most Helpful Guy
Too damned simple what I would do! When you're in a spot like this, come out of your corner, fighting. Metaphorically, of course! If he threatens to leave, tell him to close the door quietly after he goes. Be firm and decisive! Don't even look at him. THAT'S important. Be busy doing something else. He will either go, in which case you'll know where you stand, or it will knock some sense into him.2
Most Helpful Girl
How can you be with a man who is disrespecting you and controlling you? Girl, you gotta build up that courage of yours (wherever it may be hiding) and realize that you deserve so much better than how he is treating you. If you stay with him, he will find reasons and ways to keep insulting you every chance you get and you will not be happy.
This is not acceptable to me. If I were you, I'd grab my things and leave. I know you don't want a divorce, but are you really willing to endure and suffer for someone who does not even respect you in the slightest bit? It's just not worth it to me.2
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