So I dated this guy for 4 months and it's already been 4 months since we stopped talking to each other.. The relationship ended because he didn't want to commit to me.. He was a very guarded person who was scared of being vulnerable due to a painful past relationship.. The 2 times I mentioned what he thought about our relationship he would tell me that he has doubts about me so he was scared to commit.. He would give off feelings of ambivalence and I always felt like he didn't really try to get to know me fully.. One time when I was crying bc he told me he has doubts, he said because I'm being very emotional right now he can't reason with me which is another added doubt. He would say things like that which sounded ridiculous.. I'm just wondering if it's normal to take this long to get over someone? I'm not sure if it's taking longer cause he affected my self worth and self esteem. Sometimes I would miss him but I get confused if it's him that i actually miss or the idea of him. Cause if I tell myself to come up with 3 qualities about him that makes him stand out from other guys it takes me awhile to come up with the answer. What do You guys think?
Most Helpful Guy
It's just the relationship itself you can't get over but you should be better by now, maybe if you meet someone better if will be easier0
Most Helpful Girl
Break -ups are very painful. You go through a grieving process , because you feel a sense of loss.
There's no time limit on getting over the pain of a breakup, but sometimes people can't move on because they constantly reminisce about happier times. They dwell on what was and what could have been. So really it's our own thoughts that cause our prolonged pain.
That's why it's important to remove all traces of someone out of your life. Keep active and focus your attention on things other than him. Gradually your pain will ease and your feelings will fade.
Tears dry, hearts heal and they do love again , but only if you can let go of someone who has already let you go. He's emotionally unavailable so in time , the relationship would have been a toxic one. Unless he changed his outlook and found a way to get over his past hurt0