Would you end your relationship with her?

My girlfriend, LDR, lost her home due to unforeseen circumstances 2 weeks ago. Her family proposed that she move back in with her ex-husband temporarily to save money and get back on her feet. She and her ex have a very difficult past and she cannot stand him but has 3 children with him that he has yet to pay child support for, they have no place else to go. All her family live in other cities. She does not want to do this, would prefer a shelter, but asked me what I thought. I told her to do it, since it is just for 3 weeks and he is always gone. She told me he also has a girlfriend that he could go and spend time at her place too. Now I am having second thoughts and thinking of breaking up with her even though she is the love of my life. It hurts me because I'm far away and can't help her, I have no money and can't help her. She is beautiful and hard working and loves her kids, I know she has a rough time and I had made so many promises to her... going to her country and building her a home. Her kids got to know me and they were excited that I was coming but now I just can't do it. She didn't cheat, I know it, they don't like each other, but it makes me uncomfortable. I feel awful cause I know if I do this, she will take it very hard and I would also be letting her kids down too, breaking all of their hearts. Also, she will be very, very mad as well as deeply hurt. Both our families have supported us and gotten to know each other, everyone will be upset as I was telling her I wanted to get married to her, calling her my future wife to everyone... should I end this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't flake out on her because you feel insecure. You've been there emotionally for her (to hear her out when she needs it) and you just being there for her is something she would never forget. You love her so why would you think of even breaking up with her for? And don't say "because i'm far away from her, i can't give her money or anything" Don't give her money, give her someone that she can trust and rely on.

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    • Good points. Well, my Mom thinks I should break up with her. I know I probably shouldn't have told her but I broke down and cried and got her opinion... I guess I need to "man up" and think more on it

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    • Find a job before you even move there. You need to prepare yourself beforehand. Failure is something you shouldn't be afraid of. It's just something you should learn to control and deal with. Other then that your girl loves you. I did say she appreciates the support you've given her and she broke down in tears when she felt like you were going to leave her when she needed you the most. Think it over.

    • ok, I will. she has never asked me for money either which is so hard to find. I know leaving her would devastate her and shed hate me because all the promises made and her kids being a part of the plan. plus she has already told everyone we would be getting married, her coworkers and friends too. i just dont always feel strong enough to move to another country. she came to visit and met all of my family and they adored and love her too. shez so emotional that I know she would freak out for real if I really ended it. part of me doesn't like her emotional side too much. sometimes when I have to work in an area with no internet service fir 3 or 4 weeks, she gets antsy if I dont connect with her when I get back home. i have gone a few days ignoring her and avoiding her and she gets mad which turns me off even though I do love her so much. i guess Im not the greatest at keeping the spark alive but sometimes I can't understand her anger. i. guess thats anotger reason Im scared

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